My husband has paranoid schizophrenia. The good times outnumber the bad but when he has an episode it is sooooo hard to be around him.
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Welcome to the forum, I’m glad you found us - I’m especially glad that the good times outnumber the bad. I know I dread my son having an episode.
Hi. My husband is hard to be around at ties too. Sometimes I want to hide from him just to avoid whatever insults, accusations or mean names he has for me. Or worse, fight. I feel like that’s all we ever do anymore but what’s worse as I feel like I’m fighting with someone who isn’t even him, when I do see the real him it breaks my heart because i know soon he will he gone and this paranoid, delusional, untrusting monster that he’s become, will take his place.
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I’m at the point that I hate my husband… it freaking kills me to say that but I have been thru hell the last 6 months… he refuses to get help, I’m setting him up he says… the constant accusations, the voices, delusions… he’s become so mean and disrespectful… but I just couldn’t justify leaving him when I know this is not him. But dear God one can only take so much and this is no way to live life…
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I wouldn’t say divorce straight out but I also don’t need to say “you should be more understanding of his situation ect”, as that’s just inconsiderate.
It’s sad but true that SZ is a disease of isolation, that is, the thoughts, beliefs, and ideas often drive other people away because the MI person’s reality is vastly different to our own, and depending on your professional capacity can be hugely damaging, monetarily, physically, emotionally, mentally. My brother recently talked to me about wanting a life partner. Seeing as his last few were people who brought charges against him for stalking but dropped the charges due to his MI (the irony of people being TOO nice, in other words not allowing him to get care) means most of his interactions with others are almost always ruined by his delusions. Something he can’t fix, but also something that means it’s not safe for most people to interact with him long-term when it comes to their own boundaries and emotional/physical health.
The other risk is when we know the general public likes a good martyr story. While the truth sets people free, the process to get there doesn’t leave any winners at the end. Living through multiple psychotic episodes day by day and then putting up with those ideas or opinions (ultimately something that my family couldn’t put up with) changes people. Especially my perception of online comments about conspiracy level theory’s ect. While the fear is genuine because the persons reality is different than ours, the actions that result from that can and are damaging.
I am so freaking tired! We have been married for 30 yrs in September and here we are in another abusive psychosis. It hurts and he refuses to get help.
He’s smarter with age, knows how to avoid hospitals. I can’t do it anymore! God please help me! My teenage daughters have had the first taste of the trauma, I had been able to keep them from it in the past. Where do we go from here? I am a sex addict (fat over worked 50 yr old), I sell our daughters to men for money, the accusations go on and on!
I really hope I can get the courage to leave this time.
I would leave while you have the courage, it doesn’t get better!
I hope you can get the courage you need.