My husband and paranoia and schizophrenia and it’s becoming too much to handle

My husband was diagnosed with acute paranoia and schizophrenia in 2017. He was previously on medication and everything was fine for the most part. Then 2021 hit and it has been a nonstop whirlwind. He stopped taking his medication and we were in the middle of moving and he used meth- he’d been clean for years. The paranoia hit an extreme, he became violent on top of the delusions so I called the police. I know the violence was no okay but feel like sometimes it is out of his control. He was convinced I was sneaking men through floor boards and through the faucet in the shower. I got stitched up and he got help. A few months go by and he uses again with his brother and was up for days until we got him on a 72hr hold. He charmed the doctors and got out in 48. Fast forward a little bit and even without using he is in constant psychosis. He will not get help. Things got bad again and he became violent. The cops were called. Anytime he has become violent it’s been in public. He stabbed all of our car because he was convinced there were men in the seats having sex with me. Though men were hidden in the dashboard and dismantled the car. Thought men were hiding in my clothing and became violent. The last time i left he ran with my car and disappeared for days. 3 days later I get a call from jail after he robbed a gas station. He said people were chasing him shooting at him and he has no choice because jail was the only safe place. He robbed the gas station for beer and sat across the street waiting for the police. Fast forward- he was sentenced to 7 years in prison instead of mental health court. I have tried to be patient with him but he has a constant delusion that I have cheated with countless men and I’m on the phone with him cheating and laughing at him to mock him. He still has not had any help and keeps saying when he comes home he will cheat maybe with 1 or 2 women because he owes me. Our son is watching him just completely turn into a stranger and it breaks my heart. I just don’t know when or if I should give up. I’m tired

I am so sorry @Asilbernagel1201 that the downward slide for your husband has been so steep. I believe that you did the right thing in the past when you were threatened and you called the police. Unfortunately someone having delusions and hallucinations is not able to be talked out of them usually, and it sounds like they have taken over your husband’s ability to stop doing drugs or being violent. Is he is prison now? If so, you have some time to decide what to do with the rest of your life. Remember that you did not cause his illness, nor can you cure it. His actions are his responsibility. Your first job is to keep yourself and your son safe.

My daughter is only having a good life now because of court ordered medication (a shot monthly). I thank God daily that life circumstances let to me being able to speak to a judge and get court ordered meds. I have no idea if the prison system your husband is in medicates patients for severe mental illness or not. If medication used to work for him, perhaps it would again.

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Thank you for your response. He is currently in prison until 2027. Even though we are married- the prison won’t allow me to speak to anyone in medical unless he signs a hippa release and he thinks I’m out to torture him so he won’t. I keep being patient and not all days are bad. However, lately it’s been where I get excited to see some
of himself come back then a crash when he’s triggered or I’m guessing using. I thought stability and constant reassurance would help but it’s not. Until recently I would take our 6 year old son with me to visit him every weekend(our son has been a mess since he’s left and asks to see his dad every chance we can). Now I’ve cut down on the visits honestly out of fear of his irrational anger and now thinking our son is in cahoots with myself and his family to destroy his life.
I might try to gain power of attorney with his previous diagnosis. Then again- In his head the things he thinks I’ve done I don’t think there’s any way for our marriage to recover.

Thank you for your response too. It is important that you come here to read, in my opinion, as I think you will find comfort and help here on past and present posts. I can understand your feelings that there might not be any way for your marriage to recover. You might be correct, and it is good to acknowledge your feelings. I understand about taking your son, or not taking him as often now, to visit his dad. Your son has to get used to the big change of not having his father around. I have some shared emotions with you, as my husband went to prison during our marriage for repeat DUI. It was tough on me to go visit, but luckily he was not angry with me so our visits were peaceful. You have been through a LOT of horrible emotional stuff with your husband. Remember, he is the only one who can decide to take his meds or not, and since he quit them, you have had to bear the brunt of his bad emotions. That is not likely to change, ever, without him going back on meds, no matter what you do. I am so very lucky that the court system forced my daughter onto meds, as otherwise, she would probably still be psychotic and angry at me and her step-father. I hope you are taking some “me” time to help build your own emotional and physical states back up.

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