Very happy to have found this place. I am learning alot.
My spouse is similar with cheating accusations. Not so much the other part you mentioned although that has came up it is just rare.
They were diagnosed after involuntarily admission. They stopped eating among other things.
I can relate to what you are experiencing. I know how much it hurts. The worst part is they are ok for a while and very affectionate. I think things are good. Then they will change and push me away.
I have alot to learn. The only thing i have found that works which can be a real challenge is to basically say nothing. Be completely unresponsive. When they are ready they will come find me in the house.
What i have found that makes it much worse is to challenge this in any way. Not saying you should accept or convince yourself what they are saying is true but dont at all start to disagree with it.
This is the first place i have found any answers to this stuff or anyone who can relate to what i am going through at all.