Very happy to have found this place. I am learning alot.
My spouse is similar with cheating accusations. Not so much the other part you mentioned although that has came up it is just rare.
They were diagnosed after involuntarily admission. They stopped eating among other things.
I can relate to what you are experiencing. I know how much it hurts. The worst part is they are ok for a while and very affectionate. I think things are good. Then they will change and push me away.
I have alot to learn. The only thing i have found that works which can be a real challenge is to basically say nothing. Be completely unresponsive. When they are ready they will come find me in the house.
What i have found that makes it much worse is to challenge this in any way. Not saying you should accept or convince yourself what they are saying is true but dont at all start to disagree with it.
This is the first place i have found any answers to this stuff or anyone who can relate to what i am going through at all.
Hi @Terryreg and welcome to the site. You will find a large number of past posts with good information if you search. You might want to start your own thread asking for posts from spouses, as there seem to not be as many spouses on the site as other types of relatives, and spouses deal with different varieties of episodes. I am sorry this illness has lead to your having to go through a divorce.
This speaks so dear to me. Like, perhaps ridiculously, Iām imagining it in needle-point on a pillow or wall hanging or each sentence as a mantra for prayer breads. Humorous and yet the imagination serves me. Thank you.
I think back to my life in 2018, when I made that post. Things are so much better for me/us/my son, thanks to the miracle of Clozapine. However, those words are still my mantra. The disease never goes away.
I am also in the same situation, we have been together for 30 years and in January he started a new job (he has a difficult time keeping jobs because eventually he ends up thinking they are all conspiring against him) and thatās when he completely stopped showing me affection, speaking to me as if i was the evil person the whole time, saying he has been keeping notes for 20 years already and it came out of nowhere. He was diagnosed with a form of schizophrenia 10-15yrs ago so we sort of managed since then, i was very patient with him, supported us financially
I am happy that i just discovered this site because i am at wits end, i myself am looking for other living arrangements because he needs space and i want to respect his space and not push any boundaries plus i just lost my job of 26 yrs. to corporate restructuring. I was keeping track of his medication but life got hectic and i thought things were going well, so i eased up a bit. But now i feel guilty and confused because he thinks i am the one with the mental issues and that i have been in cahoots with his new boss (i donāt even know him). Plus my husband kept watching these weird, creepy youtube videos about being a victim of covert narcissm
I am very glad that you found this site @phetsy. I found it years ago when I too was at my wits end with my daughterās illness. I had to keep track of her medication, and I still do. She finally agreed to stay on it in 2019 (because of an arrest and a court order) after three years of near constant psychotic episodes aimed mostly at me and her step-father. Narcisism was a big complaint of hers when she was ill. It sort of came out of nowhere. She has done well now since 2020, thankfully.
If you can, read Dr. Amadorās Iām not Sick, I Donāt Need Help for ideas and explanations of this illness. Also NAMI has great support groups for caregivers. This site has soooooo much experience in it, so surf and read as much as you can.
Donāt forget to be kind to yourself, most importantly and do NOT feel guilty. You didnāt cause his illness or nor his delusions or hallucinations about you. It is hard to fight against those symptoms of this life-long illness.