Very happy to have found this place. I am learning alot.
My spouse is similar with cheating accusations. Not so much the other part you mentioned although that has came up it is just rare.
They were diagnosed after involuntarily admission. They stopped eating among other things.
I can relate to what you are experiencing. I know how much it hurts. The worst part is they are ok for a while and very affectionate. I think things are good. Then they will change and push me away.
I have alot to learn. The only thing i have found that works which can be a real challenge is to basically say nothing. Be completely unresponsive. When they are ready they will come find me in the house.
What i have found that makes it much worse is to challenge this in any way. Not saying you should accept or convince yourself what they are saying is true but dont at all start to disagree with it.
This is the first place i have found any answers to this stuff or anyone who can relate to what i am going through at all.
Hi @Terryreg and welcome to the site. You will find a large number of past posts with good information if you search. You might want to start your own thread asking for posts from spouses, as there seem to not be as many spouses on the site as other types of relatives, and spouses deal with different varieties of episodes. I am sorry this illness has lead to your having to go through a divorce.
This speaks so dear to me. Like, perhaps ridiculously, Iām imagining it in needle-point on a pillow or wall hanging or each sentence as a mantra for prayer breads. Humorous and yet the imagination serves me. Thank you.
I think back to my life in 2018, when I made that post. Things are so much better for me/us/my son, thanks to the miracle of Clozapine. However, those words are still my mantra. The disease never goes away.
I am also in the same situation, we have been together for 30 years and in January he started a new job (he has a difficult time keeping jobs because eventually he ends up thinking they are all conspiring against him) and thatās when he completely stopped showing me affection, speaking to me as if i was the evil person the whole time, saying he has been keeping notes for 20 years already and it came out of nowhere. He was diagnosed with a form of schizophrenia 10-15yrs ago so we sort of managed since then, i was very patient with him, supported us financially
I am happy that i just discovered this site because i am at wits end, i myself am looking for other living arrangements because he needs space and i want to respect his space and not push any boundaries plus i just lost my job of 26 yrs. to corporate restructuring. I was keeping track of his medication but life got hectic and i thought things were going well, so i eased up a bit. But now i feel guilty and confused because he thinks i am the one with the mental issues and that i have been in cahoots with his new boss (i donāt even know him). Plus my husband kept watching these weird, creepy youtube videos about being a victim of covert narcissm
I am very glad that you found this site @phetsy. I found it years ago when I too was at my wits end with my daughterās illness. I had to keep track of her medication, and I still do. She finally agreed to stay on it in 2019 (because of an arrest and a court order) after three years of near constant psychotic episodes aimed mostly at me and her step-father. Narcisism was a big complaint of hers when she was ill. It sort of came out of nowhere. She has done well now since 2020, thankfully.
If you can, read Dr. Amadorās Iām not Sick, I Donāt Need Help for ideas and explanations of this illness. Also NAMI has great support groups for caregivers. This site has soooooo much experience in it, so surf and read as much as you can.
Donāt forget to be kind to yourself, most importantly and do NOT feel guilty. You didnāt cause his illness or nor his delusions or hallucinations about you. It is hard to fight against those symptoms of this life-long illness.
Hi, sorry to hear this. It is difficult to decide what to do. I can tell you, my story. We were together for 28 years. My ex-husband was diagnosed with drug psychosis/bipolar. This was about 11 years ago, 2018. He took medication the first year and was ok. Then he stopped the meds, he refuses to acknowledge that he has a problem. He started accusing me of having affairs, plotting to have him killed and making him mad. He has convinced himself that our three kids are not his. All the abuse and affairs that he put me through was because of all the things he says I done to him. He met an old friend 10 years ago, they started having an affair, planning to marry. He believes he was never loved by me, that I never helped him in any way. He says he saw me sleep with his brother, my bro inlaw and our friend. He will give you the entire scenario of how it even happened, where and when. Note: this is the only man that I have ever been with, but he is so convinced. Mental illness runs in his family; his mom was bipolar. There were also signs earlier in our relationship like 20 years ago. At that time, very little was known about this illness. What Iām trying to say is, it is very very difficult. I spent 28 years with this man, and he doesnāt remember or acknowledge anything good I did for him. Itās a month now, he refuses to talk to the kids, because in his mind, they are not his. Try and get your wife help, but she has to acknowledge that she needs help, OR else you could be wasting your time.
Im going through this now. Its breaking my heart. 8 years of marriage. Literally in 2 weeks Iāve watched my husband spiral into madness. Hes unmedicated and refuses treatment but over the years hes always came back from his Delusions. This time its different. Like a completely different person. He hates me, told me Im trying to poison and murder him. Told me Im doing black magic on him. Im a prostitute, FBI/CIA, Im cheating. He told our 4 year old hes not her real Dad. Its heartbreaking. Im grieving my old husband. Is he even in there? He looks at me with disgust. He filed for Divorce, said hes starting a new life and moved all of his things into our shed in the backyard. My daughter asked me why is Daddys brain gone. He tells me Im poisoning him but I see on my Ring camera at night he sneaks in to steal food. I just dont understand. How do you help someone that refuses help. If I even try to helpā¦Im āsetting him upā. I dont want to be Divorced. He told me he hates me and wishes he never met me. Any advice from anyone would help