My son did not like taking Zyprexa because he said it made him feel nothing.
However, without meds, he obviously feels too much. I’d love for him to attend CBT, group therapy, or anything else, but he won’t.
For him, he will go manic without meds and will literally not sleep for days on end. The last time, when he finally went to the hospital, his heart rate and blood pressure were so high, they took him through medical for a physical emergency first before he went to be evaluated for psychiatric issues.
So, I listen to my son, we talk about it, ultimately it is his choice - but I also don’t think he has a choice. He could very literally die without some type of medication.
His current doctor is part of an intensive treatment program. She does not believe in complicated drug cocktails or high dosages if it’s possible to avoid them, and they’re approach is to use just enough drugs to make things “tolerable” and to use therapy for the rest. So far, they have not got him to participate very much in the therapy, but they’re going at his pace - they tried to push and almost lost him when they made him paranoid.
Now, he’s on Clozapine at a very, very low dosage and told the doctor it doesn’t feel like he’s taking anything. She was happy with that, and he even smiled a little bit about it.
It sounds like you’re doing really well and you’ve got a lot of insight. I hope that continues.
Without insight, I don’t think my son can make an informed choice, so I advocate for him. Wwhen he didn’t like Zyprexa because it made him too numb, he did have insight & I respected his decision to reduce his dosage - and so did his doctor.