I can't live like this anymore


After reading all of the problems that people are having, which are very similar to mine and my wife’s. I think this site is really going to help. Prayer, hope, and faith will help us survive.


prayer, hope, and faith will help us survive.

I couldn’t Agee more Buddy.


Hi Sheyelo…i get you so much…my son with sz is 27 and all Ive done his whole life is cry over him…since i was on here last he’s been hospitalized twice now…he’s currently in so I’m getting a bit of a rest…i literally ruined my tear ducts crying over him…i have to use restasis all day and when i wake during the night cuz my eyes wont water anymore-but trust me-i can sure still cry tons…and i do-i constantely think -if he doesn’t make it over this…i wont either-i wouldn’t want to go on…and i dont think i could…how do we do it?..Im not a religious person so I dont often pray much but at times i do-I have nothing to lose…in my mind I hear myself saying…”My poor son is absolutely insane…”and then I hate myself for it but he really is and I dont know how to help him anymore-Im sucked dry and my poor husband tries to understand but he’s not his dad and he has no kids so he doesn’t understand the love I have for him and the love that I could lose if I lose him. I myself am borderline personality disorder as well as bi-polar so it makes it so much harder than if I was just normal myself…I wish I had some answers aside from go one day at a time and come here to talk to us because we get you 100%…chin up-your still beautiful and the fact that you have the love in your heart that you apparently do makes you even more beautiful!!!


Wes_B, I’m sorry my son also developed TD and I can tell you it’s horrible for him and his life is just not the same anymore. I don’t know what else to do for him, he’s tried the newer meds for movement disorder and they seem to make his movements worsen so he’s not on them for now.


Hi Sheyelo. I cannot begin to tell you how much I relate to your post. It IS different for me however- since the mentally ill person in my life is my twin as opposed to a child. I don’t know what a standard response looks like- for a family who’s had schizophrenia suddenly upend their lives- but I know I sure as hell didn’t respond with grace and consistency. Neither did my family. I felt like I was supposed to be strong- but I didn’t feel strong. At all. I felt panic- intense anger/fury- shame- (at my anger) grief- more panic and an absolutely oppresive sense of over-responsibility. These feelings came in waves. Waves that could last a very long time. I wrote in a previous post the best advice I can give to any person struggling with a sz. family member is to forgive yourself. -Because any human being who’s thrust into this scenario would want to say- screw this. I can’t tell you what you should do in your scenario. I can recommend that in this time where so much energy and attention is focused on your child- that you take time to ask yourself more of what you need. A bath. A walk. Time alone. Patience. Compassion. Forgiveness. For yourself. Sending good vibes your way.


I’ve been there. I hope things are a bit better now.


Boy do I get that no-win feeling! Right now, we are investigating the cost of adding a bathroom to the laundry room, putting an exterior-type door between the laundry room and the rest of the house and making it into his own room–attached to the house, but he can’t get into the rest of the house unless he is invited and is in line of sight at all times. I HAVE to be able to put a closed and locked door between us when he gets threatening; and living on the back porch, which he has done short-term, is not a solution. If it turns out not to work, we haven’t made any major changes to the house.


We built a garage apartment (over an unattached garage for our son) It does add square footage and value to our home- so that made us feel slightly better.

Glad you have a way that works and is less expensive.


How is the Botox working for your migraines? I couldn’t get approved for it. Said I don’t get enough of them. I had 3 last week but who’s counting? LOL. Hope things are better at your end. :grinning:


We actually built an apartment off the back of our home for mom with Alzheimer dementia. There is a laundry/mud room entrance that separates the two ‘homes’. Mom still is alive but steadily progressing in the disease. Both entrance doors are steel and the one for entering the shared space lockable from our side. Son shared that would work for him someday because he is not sure how long he can live on his own. Still not sure if that idea of his makes me happy or not.:thinking: Hope your solution works


My heart goes out to you.


Yes, our lives became saner by adding a back door in her room. We also installed a fridge/microwave/hotplate. We are in process of building a wall/door in the hall to lock her into her side of the house at night cutting down the loud night voice when she is sleepless. We gave up the hall bath to her end, so she is self contained. I don’t knock often, except to give her dinner at night and see if she will go for a walk with me.

Right now she is screaming unintelligible conversation in her room, and has been for hours. It will pass without my interference. She is unmedicated, doesn’t work, has no friends, and it is best that I leave her alone. It has been 2.5 years since onset (she is now 34) and I still feel incredibly sad daily, as I feel I failed her. I started living my own life again this year and my health is better. I no longer try to “fix” her; I can’t. She has no idea she is ill, and doesn’t notice the months passing… alone in her room.


I just took over the title from my dads RV with the intent of traveling a bit with my husband (not sure what I was thinking) but am thinking it might end up going to my son. It would satisfy that set-containment part like you mentioned and give him some autonomy. Glad to hear things became a little more manageable and that you’ve at least figured out something that works for you.


Yes, that is a great idea and would probably suit your son.


Sorry for the Flood damage. I hope you are fine now… When my uncle faced flood damage at Glendale he immediately contacted to the insurance company for the restoration process.