Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I’m so tired of being scared for my dad


#1

First time poster, I hope I’m doing this okay. I don’t have people to talk to about this.

My dads taken a liking to abusing over the counter drugs. No matter what we do for him he always somehow gets it. I can no longer tell if he’s just manic or is also high.

He’s been hospitalized, he’s gone to a mental health facility, and the drugs they gave him turn him into a drooling zombie so he’s not taking them anymore.

The other night I heard a loud thump like someone fell and he was just laying there. Then got back up and fell again and eventually my mom took over. It was terrifying but he ended up okay, relatively speaking.

The hardest part is I can never tell when he’s being himself or lucid anymore. I don’t trust him when he’s overly happy or trying to kid around with me. I’m one of the only people he trusts so he’s always talking to me about his miracles and religion. It’s distressing to hear.

He’s the provider of the family and while my mom has a job as well just in case he can’t keep it I’m constantly stressed he’s going to spiral again.

My mom has to listen to everything he says for hours,and Is constantly being heckled by him, whether it’s him arguing with her and following her around the house to fight with her or have him wake her up in the middle of the night so she’ll watch his favorite movie with him for the eighth time. I’m worried for her too. I want them both to be able to be happy and at peace.

He seems fine in the day and when he has to work but by night it seems like he just lets it all out. Sorry if this is too much.


#2

Hello @Circadian and welcome to the forum. It is fine that you posted, it is a safe place to talk here. We all understand the emotional stress involved with someone else’s mental issues whether they are drug caused or not.

I am glad you found us.

If your dad is using, then he is pretty much psychotic when he is under the influence. I know because my husband drinks alcohol and smokes pot and gets delusional. Your mom is probably doing the best thing by listening to your dad when he is out of his right mind, as it is almost impossible to win an argument with a delusional person and it can escalate dangerously. Part of the reason my husband and I are still together in the same house is financial, I haven’t yet figured out a better solution.

Over the last few years of helping my daughter who became schizophrenic, I have learned better how to handle my husband’s drunken episodes: basically I cook him something he likes, get him to sit and eat in front of the TV, he will fall asleep after (pass out) he has eaten. Until I get him to sit down and eat, he just keeps going and going saying the same stupid things over and over and demanding I watch TV too. Twice I called the police on him to get him to knock off threats, he was so drunk he didn’t remember what happened the next day when he woke up in jail. I didn’t bail him out of jail. His drunkenness has settled down quite a bit now. Just like alcohol and pot, if your dad wants over the counter meds, you won’t be able to stop him from doing it.

Come here to this site, read stories of how people handle their MI loved ones, and try to keep things as de-stressed for yourself as you can until you can move out on your own. That is my best advice. I wish you good luck.


#3

Thank you for responding that alone means a lot! Sounds like were in a similar boat, and tv definitely seems to calm him down. I’m glad you found something that works for your husband, and I hope your husband and daughter are doing good and I’m wishing you luck and strength as well.


#4

Life is just not the same living with someone who has addictions or mental illness or both, and just doesn’t act normal. You have to protect yourself, and be kind to yourself, and try not to rock the boat as that sometimes leads to violence.

Are you safe? And taking care of yourself @Circadian ? I hope so.