He’s not my son and he’s not my husband yet, so I have no say in the matter. Though thank you for the suggestion.
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Yes, you are completely right about that. Which is why I didn’t call the police.
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Consulting with a family attorney familiar with these matters is a great place to begin. Every state has different laws. These and Federal statutes can stymie our best intentions and efforts to help someone. Last year I dealt with bringing my SZ younger brother to treatment. I am 66 and he is ten years younger. Using a good attorney, the first step was to become his guardian. NAMI was helpful especially for referring me to Xavier Amador’s book “I An Mot Sick, I Don’t Need Your Help.” Listening to establish trust and partnership with him was the only way to keep him in treatment once he finally threatened enough folks to compel the police to bring him to the ER. He is now under treatment (bi-weekly shots, both expensive and priceless) and can again live independently. The truth is that he will never be fully well and I will always have to remain actively engaged to keep him safe. Hopefully, I live long enough to do so.
For both you and your fiance’s safety, establishing constructive contacts and lines of communication with local mental health, crisis and law enforcement is essential. Even in our small town, the police are very proactive and understanding
social workers who happen to be armed. Finally, try not to lose sight of your own needs and life. Should you marry him, this may well become a lifetime burden for you to bear. May peace be with you.
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Thank you, I completely agree with you. I hope your brother recovers soon.
Hi, I’m in this situation right now. My sibling has had multiple short term hospitalizations.
In MA, institutionalizing some one requires a
" Roberts " order, I think it’s called. " Roger’s order, " maybe ?
She hates the hospital, which offered some types of therapy. She liked the yoga class that she was lucky enough to take there. Art therapy was great for her.
The severe illness of other patients, and her extreme messiness made her hospital stays unpleasant.
Having some one hospitalized by calling the police, who call an ambulance, which then hopefully takes the patient to the ER, is traumatic for the patient and the patient’s family. I might even hazard to say it’s traumatic for the Professional Psychiatric caregivers, Police, and Ambulance drivers, too.
The ward she went to only recently got access to the outdoors, i.e a patio that they can sit, and walk around in. Supervised, no visitors allowed out there with them.
Even prisoners in a penitiary had more access to the outdoors. BTW, the ward I’m discussing is considered one of the best. So I’m feeling until recently that their care was punitive.
My mother and I say we’ve lost faith in the system.
My Dad says he hopes she’ll stay on a ward for two months or longer.
She went to McClean’s and felt ok there because the care was much better. But still, she was kept a week or so and released with no aftercare plan. They recently started accepting Medicare which they didn’t before. Which I’m really grateful for, as I was unecessarily kept at McClean’s for over a month, even though I agreed to medications as prescribed and attended groups right away.
I was very ill. But after two weeks I think I could’ve been released.
It’s my belief that I was kept so long because my family was paying out of pocket.
A woman was attacked by an orderly there and we all heard her blood curdling screams through the walls. Pretty sure this was a sexual assault of an elderly, demented patient.
This was over a decade ago.
But I swore I would never go back and when I broke that vow by my own choice, I was terrified by the ward I was placed in. A non-acute ward. Feared I would never be released ( some patients had been there unwillingly for months. )
Some of the groups on the ward were helpful but many of them needed a lot of work and constructive change.
There is still a long, long way to go to improve Mental Health care.
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