Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I'm scared and he is doing everything right

When my college age stepson moved back in with us about a year ago he was very different, and it caught me so off guard. This is a person I used to sit in his room and drink beers with, and then all the chillness was substituted for worry. It also didn’t help that he got a bit forward with women and I have sexual abuse traumas. The entire situation got out of control. My alcoholism got even more out of control and because he doesn’t sleep at night, neither did I. I became so paranoid I still wake up when I hear his door open and close. I have no nice way to approach his dad with my concerns, and it eats me inside that I have to accept to live with him for the rest of my life if I want to stay with his dad. My husband is afraid of pushing him to work, considering he just started taking a college subject again. I also have kids from a previous marriage and they love my husband so much.

I am just so so lost, I feel like my emotions are out of control, I don’t know what to expect, what to think, what to hope for. But most of all, I want to be accepting of him again. He is taking his meds, he stays in his room for most of the day doing his own thing, he hasn’t done anything bad for a while, and he seems better than last year. I should be hopeful, but all I feel is fear. Im so afraid he will get bad again, I’m so afraid of being a caregiver forever, I’m so afraid to be alone with him once quarantine is over and everyone leaves the house for most of the day. My husband isn’t able to help me as he isn’t able to help himself. I know I am missing something.

So sorry to hear your fears , It seems like you are traumatised , have you considered seeing a therapist ? i think it may help . This disease is not easy to deal with .

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Good call on the therapist. Thanks

@bibicrcr can you put a safety plan in place for yourself on what you will do if things get bad again?

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Is understandable to be afraid when coping with such an unpredictable illness in the family
And that makes Stress levels very high.
Important to look at your own needs with this

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Maybe the best thing we can do is to accept the fears – fear of a relapse, fear of being a lifelong caregiver – and move on with our own lives anyway. Many people are caregivers of others – the aged, children with physical disabilities. Many people have handicaps they have to live with.

What does it mean to live our lives to the best of our abilities? I think it means friendships and creative work.

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