Sounds like sz to me. But to a child raised by a sz parent this would end up sounding pretty normal, meaning the child would have no idea what the real normal really is
I do try to tell my 6 yr old that daddy just seeings things or hears things or thinks things that are not correct or really there. For instance, daddy was telling my son the guy on the road broke in our house. I asked my son “now is anything missing from the house”. My son says “no”. I said so if someone breaks in the house its usually to steal, right. My son says yes. I said okay, so you know noone really broke it, it is daddy not thinking right again.
It is hard to explain to a child. And i really want him to know this is not normal. That is the ONLY thing so far that my husband has said to my son. The rest is normal communications and usually I only hear the weird stuff. NOt my son. I told my husband quite telling my son someone broke in. He is going to have my son not able to sleep, scared. He did it a few more times anyway.
Yes, I would love to have hope that it was something different. I am glad you pay attention to my posts enough to see I was not mentioning details. You could have had something here.
There are more instances. I usually just talk about certain situations. Likely the ones that hurt my feelings the most. Or the ones I dn’t know how to handle the most.
It has been 2 yrs now and I am sooooo tired. Half of the issues I just don’t have the strength to deal with. I just ignore the symptoms or issues.
Our son was committed involuntarily by calling the police as there is no crisis team that could come to our house. The police took him to the ER and then to the Psych floor of one of a few hospitals in our area of Wisconsin. It’s the ‘fast track’ compared to the civil commitment process which can take months- and our son could not wait any longer as his delusions were getting scarier. He’s now in a group home on CTY commitment for 6 months and on court ordered biweekly injections and pills (Seroquel and side effect meds).
I found a book called “I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help” by Dr Xaviar Amador very helpful.
It’s recommended all over this site, and there are videos that are easy to find too.
If you haven’t read it, it’s fairly short and easy to follow - although I struggle to apply what I read there.
Maybe it will help you with how you react to him & maybe it will even help you find a common ground where you can convince him to get help.
It’s all about how to find a way to communicate with someone who lacks insight to find something you can agree on - hopefully, something that will convince them to get treatment even if they never can see that they have a mental illness.
It is hard on a child. And exhausting for you. I am sorry.
It is good you have drawn attention to “daddy not thinking right”. I have compared it to a broken bone when explaining it to younger family members. They can see and understand a broken bone and once they heard that they understood the brain is broken for some people too.
It is hard to emotionally handle some of the nonsense that comes out of their mouth, but when we react to it emotionally it wears everyone down. Except the SZ, they seem to have boundless energy when it comes to their delusions. Sometimes my son comes up with things I would never do and I simply state, I am sorry you think that of me, but I know I didn’t do that and I will not discuss this with you. And I find something else to do.
I have heard of Dr. Amador, but not the book. I am going to the library to get this. Thanks!!!
I had to order mine - paperback off Amazon.
I don’t think it’s too expensive.
I couldn’t find it in the library here or in stock at any book store.
My support group has copies on hand though - they went to show me one at my first meeting.
I was like - already got it.
There are several books that are frequently recommended and that’s one of them.
Thanks for the info!!!
@thereisalwayshope. I agree with you that it wears every down except the person with sz. This is what I’ve seen in my grandchildren – their mothers loves them but her bizarre behavior have affected both of my grandchildren as well as me and it is why she is no longer living in my home. It’s too much for everyone especially the children.
I thought the only way I can call the police and involuntary commit my husband was if he threaten to kill himself or anybody?
Yes, I will look in to that defiantly, that is if I don’t just leave first. Can’t do this much longer. But maybe the book will give me hope. The problem is, I have researched how to deal with him. But it is too late. I handled him wrong from the beginning and now he don’t trust me. My words are powerless and mean nothing to him. Especially because I am the one he thinks is cheating or fixed up his accident etc. Im the bad guy here.
I do similar things. For instance, I just say well I know I didn’t do it and God does too so I am not arguing with you about it. I walk away then.
And I will use that…daddys brain is sorta like a broken arm/bone…good idea.
Yes. Didn’t cause it, can’t control it, can’t cure it! That’s a motto to many here. Good luck with everything!
I hope you have gotten some relief since your last post.
I know you love your husband, and feel responsible for him, but I think you and your son should leave, I say this as someone who was married to a paranoid sz person for 13 years.
Don’t subject yourself to his hateful rhetoric. And Ithink it’s only a matter of time until he shares his delusions with your son.
If I were you, I’d make an escape plan to stay with a relative, a friend, or even a hotel or women’s shelter. Don’t tell your husband about it. Call him when you get settled, and make the case that he must agree to /start medical treatment before you consider moving back in w him.
I sorry if I sound harsh, but you have to think about you and your son. You don’t want to get more stressed, tired, etc.
Ive thought to leave but not secretly. He does not want me there anyway so would not try to stop me. He tells me we are over all the time.
However it should be him leaving since he cant afford the house with no job. Idk. Ill figure it out. He has gone through these episodes before and comea out. But this time its affecting my work cause he refuses to help pick my son up.
Kathy. My son was very delusional thinking my 89 yr old mother in law who lived with us at the time was going to hurt my husband and I. Because of this we knew we had to do something as he was walking around the house at times with a small baseball bat. That’s when we had her leave and then had an ‘opportunity’ to call the police (long story) because he and my husband got in a scuffle.
My daughter’s illness has affected my job because I was constantly taking care of fires and also I had to take 3 months off to care for her when she was 16 years old. It’s a long rough and sometimes scary road and for children such as your son it’s very confusing. You may not think he knows but he does.
Okay, so I can tell my husband is out of his episode. He was looking pitiful and lost ans spaced out. He was less talkative and didn’t want to communicate or be bothered. Sunday evening he is back to talking about whatever is on tv and looking a bit upbeat. Of course he still has delusions etc but he carries himself pretty good some days. You wouldn’t know he is sick some days until he asks a bizarre or suspicious question.
although he is out of his episode he still refuses to pick my son up from school. I am expected to get off work every day and get my son, bring my son home, then go back to work, then back home. That is a lot of work when he is just sitting there and could take the load off me.
Do you think he feels anxiety when I mention picking our son up? Do you think he mentally thinks bad things could happen or bad people are out there. What I am asking is do you think his SZ is getting to him and he can’t see himself leaving the house? Or after 2.5 weeks of not having to pick our son up he is just used to not having to and likes the freedom and don’t want to help me? He has conditioned himself?
What is your thoughts? I am trying to see his side of things. All I see right now is a man who don’t want to help do his part. I do everything…at least help me when you can. I may be being selfish.
I don’t think it is selfish to want a partner…that really is what marriage is all about. He may be heading towards depression and that is why he is not helping. My son described his depression as exhausting even thinking about doing something as simple as washing your feet in the shower. Good for you trying to see his side of things. But just remember he may not be in a place where he can reciprocate seeing your side. Mental illness is I think at its core very selfish. The ill person cannot see much beyond what they perceive the world to be and reasonable people keep trying to well, reason with them. Even though I know better, that is what I did this weekend out of sheer fatigue. It got me no where but mad. So what you want, definitely not selfish but unlikely to happen without some type of intervention. I wish I could tell you just what to do to fix things, but if I could, I would do it myself too! It is a struggle and I hope some comfort that you know others understand. Take care.
An afterthought…if you are in the US you may qualify for intermittent leave time under HIPAA to deal with having to leave work for short periods of time during the day.