Yes this system is very broken. It’s almost impossible to get your loved one help. My son has absolutely no insite at all to his illness. We put him in the hospital 4 times now. As you know this is no easy task. He fights us with every move with a lawyer. Now the doctor said she has to report to the ministry of transportation that ny son has schizophrenia he might lose his license.
It’s nice to hear from you again Margi. Is your son still in the hospital? I hope you’re ok.
It’s funny, since my daughter’s delusions center on special beings who run the city or country, to realize that is was the “forces of the universe” that came together to get my daughter treatment (arrest, court ordered meds, hospitalization, and a great follow up clinic) when I had given up hope on the system ever working for us. My own certainty was the most key ingredient however: how to emphatically state that she was a danger to self and others, how to get a judge to listen to me, how to get the hospital to talk to me despite HIPPA, how to not tell my daughter her case is over and so is the court order: all of these played a part in how she is finally in recovery. I had to USE the broken system, like playing a piano, to the best of my ability, and stop doubting that jail and hospital were bad for her. Yes, it’s terrible she was arrested again, BUT it was for something minor, yet crazy, that she did in public. If I had pressed charges when she hurt me years earlier, perhaps she would have received treatment earlier… If I had stressed how scared I was and how in danger I was earlier, perhaps she would have received treatment earlier… But then I wasn’t certain of myself enough to “go against my child” and testify against her. I feel incredibly lucky the way the events unfolded recently. There is a tenuous recovery for her that seems like it just may, despite the broken system and with the grace of God, continue.
day by day yes my son is still in the hospital. There’s going to be a hearing on Wednesday with his lawyer to get him out. I don’t know how that’s going to turn out. He has received 2 shots of invaga so far. I’m not holding on very well he keeps calling me to get him out of there. If he keeps getting these injections he will end up bed ridden and 300 lbs. Saying that I want to harm him.
Hang in there Margi- I know it’s impossibly hard. We are all pulling for you.
I hope things go well at the hearing. I believe the correct medication can be a great benefit, as you know. I wish there were a perfect medicine for psychosis with no side effects, but that doesn’t exist yet. It is a horrible choice between active psychosis (with no physical side effects) and medication with side effects but lowered psychosis. Not an easy choice either way.
I know it’s difficult Margi, but your son is so very ill. We have to make hard choices to rescue our children from themselves and this horrible disease. Your son’s body will adjust to the medication. He won’t be bedridden and his diet can be controlled. Hang on.
Hi Margi - I hope things go well at the hearing on Wednesday. When my son was texting me all kinds of things years ago - I told him one more text and I’m blocking you. For your own sanity you may not want to answer every time. Fingers crossed for Wed.
Thanks for lisening. The hearing has been postponed till next Wednesday the lawyer couldn’t make it. My son is starting to whare me down with all his pleading to get him out of the hospital he says he doesn’t understand why we’re doing thisvto him. The invega will kill him and make him a vegetable in bed.
So that’s good as he will have to keep taking the meds until then. Can you do something like go get a pedicure or something nice for yourself. I was feeling a bit low the other day (about my son etc) and the pedicure and manicure took my thoughts off the situation.
My son still sometimes tries this guilt trip on me, about why I am making him take meds. I just ignore it now.
@Margi I understand that your son’s demands are wearing you down, but that is because he is still unable to see his own illness, and it might always be that way. Trust the doctors: they obviously see something is wrong and are keeping him in the hospital for treatment which is needed.
The meds will not kill him. Hopefully they find the right dosage and the right med and his life will greatly improve.
And be kind to yourself.
All treatment is on hold till after the hearing next week on the 21st. He is quite confident that the lawyer will be getting him out. If that happens i just don’t know then.
I totally know what you mean by silently suffering. It seems that is what I do all day. Fake that I am happy and all is well. My daughters get a look of dread on their faces if my son is brought up. Everyone is done with him expect mom and dad. And you are right about extended family. No even asks about him. It’s like he is dead. Not even grandparents. So sad. I am praying for you AnnieNorCal. I hope you can locate Lou soon.
Just an update about our son. I have a phone call to the social worker, still waiting for a call back.
When your loved one is part of the system, everything moves extremely slow. Since Lou’s arrest (Jan 2017) and the circumstances are extreme and HIPAA laws in California, we have been stuck in this limbo.
We were able to have phone contact for a short time last May 2018. Then he was moved back to the court system for an evaluation which took 7 months. Another 2 months passed as we waited for a transfer back to the state hospital. Brings us up to date.
When your child is committed to a state hospital, it can be difficult to make contact. So we wait, not even sure he is at this hospital and no one will tell you anything.
Many sleepless nights and thought about our son. AnnieNorCal
P.S. I did get to see my daughters and grandson, what joy they bring! My grandson is turning 5, he took his first plane trip up from SoCal, he is so big! We picked him and my daughter up at the airport in Sacramento, a big adventure for the little man!