Oh, @Margi , I am totally there with you, I understand the mixed up emotions that must be hitting you. It is an awful whirlwind of terrible thoughts mixed with what-ifs when your loved one is in the hospital. Especially with no insight. I strongly recommend that you don’t give in to any feelings of guilt. You are not to blame, you are not to feel guilty, you are helping to break a psychosis that will otherwise consume you and your son fully in the future if it continues unchecked. When that day comes that the anger and psychosis are gone and the good, lovable, kind son is back in control of his delusions/hallucinations, you will be soooooooo relieved and so happy that you didn’t give in to self-doubt.
You MUST trust the doctors, trust the court system, trust the hospitals, really they want to help you and help your son. If he goes away for a few months to gain back his own mind and soul, it is well worth it. Try to imagine life a few months from now, with psychosis, delusions, voices, anger, etc, gone… it will happen if you persist on this path. His own insight may never happen, but his path to wellness can and is happening right now. Be proud of yourself for helping him.
Margi, this must be terribly upsetting for you, but you can do this. You can get through this heartbreak. This is your chance to rescue your child from this horrible illness. This situation is not your fault. You didn’t cause it. You can’t fix it.
As @oldladyblue said, try to look forward to having your old son back again. He’s in there.
@Margi My emotions were all over the place as well when my son was in the hospital mostly because we didn’t know what was going to happen. At first they were trying to get him in a long term facility but the meds worked so he was released in 3 weeks to a transition home and 3 weeks later he came home on court ordered meds.Please try not to feel guilty you are doing the right thing and it’s a good thing you did. How is your son doing now? I can’t recall - are you in the states or the UK? It sounds like you are getting some good assistance.
Please be aware
The meds are life or death
Life with
The right cocktail is something I struggled with
I didn’t want me to take that
But now I’m no longer depressed because of antidepressants i enjoy my life
There is a cocktail med i have always had is anti side effects that also makes life easier
Please, in the West- western mediçine is the only solution for schizophrenia
Im 44 schizophrenia since age 16
In 12 years married and living independently
It got a hell of a lot worse at 30 and then better as soon as I got on the best med for me
Be patient with the Invega Sustenna. In our situation it took 4-5 months for the shot to really take hold with our daughter. Every month after that was just constant improvement.
I live in canada. Thank you for all your support it really helped me today. When I talked to my son today he said that they want to send him to a insane asylum and kill him. I better do something to get him out.
You knew before he went in that he was going to want out. You were right @Margi , he wants out of the hospital, however, it is being IN the hospital that is the only way to get him stable. And when he is stable, you will be stable. His paranoia will settle out on the right meds. You must hang in there and let the medical staff do their jobs. Long term if necessary. You can do it.
Is anyone happy? I am silently suffering.
To keep my daughters, husband, and other close family happy, I fake it! It makes them feel better if I am okay. I am not trying to make the family feel bad when I am not okay, but that is exactly what happens.
I am praying for my own courage right now. It’s as if the rest of my family is better off not speaking about our son, their brother, nephew, cousin or grandson.
Thank God for this forum where it is okay for me to be sad. AnnieNorCal
P. S. My son Lou was transferred back to a state hospital in California. Because of HIPAA laws, I have not received even a phone call. So I will investigate on my own to find out where he is and hopefully have an update soon. Thanks for letting me post my feelings.
Hello all,
Last April 2018, we were on our way to visit our son. It has been a long road of patience. Our son has to approve visits. He was finally sounding like himself, our phone conversations were improving and he was moved. We waited for a competency hearing having no idea it would take months. He was finally declared not fit and non conforming with his meds, he has decompensated back to his original state.
To any of you reading this post, it is hard to understand why we are in the dark about our son. He is now 32yrs old. He is protected by the state privacy laws and will not sign a release form. He had no ID on him at the time of the accident and walked off the back of a flatbed pickup truck that was towing a cement mixer on a freeway, (why he was there we do not know) was run over and his head was crushed. It was considered a hit and run and the truck left the scene. Thank God a police officer was on route when this happened. Our son became a ward of the state. He was in a coma and on a feeding tube for several days before we knew what had happened. Bleeding on the brain in several places. It is a miracle that he even survived. After months he was released into my care, I stayed with him while he recovered, it was miraculous, he had never been better. That’s when it all fell apart, ending where he is now in a forensic hospital. I know this is hard for anyone to wrap their head around, including our family.
So here we are, AnnieNorCal
Edit: it has been over two years since we have seen our son and still waiting
Oh, @AnnieNorCal , I wish you peace in your grief. I don’t know what to say to you, I wish I could offer something you haven’t thought of to try and get into communication with Lou. I do care, and hope you can find something to give you more hope.
I am so sorry. The laws of CA are crazy stupid. When you are family in your situation, the HIPPA law should go out the window. No common sense there!. I try to navigate the system as best I can to find out the info. I need and it is for my unofficial adopted foster son who has Anosognosia and therefore cannot speak in his own best interest. I am convinced this law has to be adjusted for certain situations and needs to be implemented for humane treatment of our loved ones and the ability to advocate what is in their best interest when they cannot.
I believe I could possibly know you from another mutual person but will not divulge anything for confidentiality reasons. Not sure where I can PM you? I am so thankful for this forum.
The laws of Florida and Utah same. crazy stupid. We advocates need to march together or do something to get these laws changed. I had to wait til I sold my home so I’d have money to get my son help. I got limited guardianship and had to prove to police and mobile crisis unit he was an imminent danger to me before they would take him to the psychiatric hospital where they are finally (after almost a year of calling and writing letters to governor, and people in adult protective service, etc etc) giving him medicine, therapy, and looking for housing for him Thank God!
Margi… how are you and your son doing? Him saying they want to send him to insane asylum and kill him sounds like he might be having delusions. How old is he? Be careful about bringing him home. I did that and tried since 2011 to get my son help. I’m almost 60 years old now and I was getting very tired and burnt out of trying to live and care for a psychotic person. Check out the leapinstitute.org and SARDAA. My son in last year was destroying my stuff… tore up my deceased mothers photos… things I can never replace. We were almost thrown out of 2 places due to his behavior… no one wanted him around cause his talk got so crazy… no one can understand him. The police and mobile crisis unit social worker finally decided I was in danger… immediate danger, plus I finally got limited guardianship. They are now getting him treatment and meds and looking for housing for him… in Utah.
Absolutely, something needs to be done for CHANGE. This is craziness. I would not even treat my dog like that.
My son is now homeless, he too gets violent when he gets upset and feels his world closing in on him. He has destroyed several doors in my home, punched holes in walls, etc. Just recently ripped a door off the hinges at my moms house where he was staying after being removed from my place. We are trying Everything to help him, nothing is working. He is now living in a camper in someones driveway, he only has limited time to find other resources but he is too busy with his delusions that the sheriff and FBI are following and harassing him, putting meds in his food, spraying him with meds, they planted a GPS in his ear, it goes on and on. He is always sick, been to ER several times but found nothing wrong with him. I even went outside the curtain in the ER to mouth to the Dr. that he was severely mentally ill, please help. They did nothing!!! Released him 10 min. later saying nothing was wrong. This is such inhumane treatment for any human. My son refuses meds, says he needs to find a lawyer to help him sue the jail and sheriff dept. for harassment and doing things to him. All delusions that will not allow him to live a normal life unless he gets meds. So here it comes again: that stupid statement: Unless he is in danger of hurting himself or others, there is no law against being crazy. Are you kidding me??? What about helping people who need help. Sorry to vent, but I am at wits end and my son is running out of time before he gets arrested for something because nobody would help him, then he gets to sit in a box which we all know is the worst possible place for him and others.
I agree @2frustrated. It’s almost as if something terrible has to happen FIRST (them hurting themselves, them hurting others, or even possibly killing someone, them getting arrested for a crime in the midst of one of their episodes), BEFORE they will even consider taking action. It’s so backwards.
Instead of the system being PREVENTATIVE, it’s REACTIVE, when it’s really too late, the damage has been done.
@2frustrated, @mbheart and all of you.
Have to agree about how horrible the system is. Let’s wait until harm or violence happens before we can help our loved ones.
Good to be here with all of you, thanks for your support, AnnieNorCal
So true, Something needs to be done about that. As I have been saying; this system is very backwards.
Put a bandaid on it and hope for the best is NOT working for anyone. These people deserve better!!
