Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Is this really all we can do


#1

Yes, Im writing to let it out again. But some of you guys respond and it brings me back to a secure place of mind…

My brother’s court date was awful. He decided to drop his public defender, and take his case to trial. The prosecutors denied me talking to the judge due to not having a diagnoses prior to the court date and they wont consider the idea of mental health issues. Ive called the jail continuously letting them know whats going on, you would think in the mental health unit they would at least evaluate him…but NOTHING has been done and now hes in solitary confinement, no visitation, no phone calls. My anger is rising and my heart cant possibly break any more than this.

How can you put someone whos already living a true horror movie in a bubble? The thought of another person having so much control to legally torture someone in this way is making my head spin.
Nobody understands, they just think of themselves and I cant. Why is this world so helpless? Im trying to keep my head on straight, trying not to feel it so much but this is all too real. When I think about it, I feel myself falling in deep.

Are we ever going to get out of this dark place and finally have a normal life? Has anyone made it out?


#2

People have made it out for sure. I hope things make a turn around for you.


#3

Wow, that’s awful, it sounds like these people you are dealing with are a little incompetent, ignorant and not doing their jobs correctly. You’re right, the world can be a cold, lonely place. Solitary confinement is the worst thing you can do to someone who has schizophrenia. I think putting your brother in solitary confinement is 100% cruel and unusual punishment which is prohibited by law.

In my neck of the woods here in California we have the Mental Health Advocadsy (sorry. spelling) Anyway, it’s a legal organization that has lawyers who will work for free for people who have mental health issues. They take on cases like tenant-landlord disputes, discrimination issues, work related cases, etc and many more legal problems that a mentally ill person might have. And it’s all free. I suggest that you look in your area for something similar.

As to your last question I don’t know if that is directed at caregivers or us people with a mental illness. I have had paranoid schizophrenia for 30 years. In the beginning it was horrible and frightening, and it was like torture. For two years I suffered mercisilly. My case was severe and when I was 19 I was put in a house specifically for people who had schizophrenia. It was a nightmare and I had no sign that I would ever get better. As far as I knew, this was how the rest of life would be.

After this house I spent 8 months locked up in a psychiatric hospital. Lots of suffering again. Incredibly bad, horrible symptoms with no relief. I’ll make this shorter and not go into every detail. But after the hospital, my parents arranged for me to live in a very nice group home. After a series of small steps I became employed. I ended up working there for four years. During this time I moved into a supported housing living situation, I got a car, I enrolled myself in college, I had a couple of friends, I dated a little.

Well, I ended up working almost steadily since I got that first job at different jobs. I need only four more classes for my AA degree. After a two year stint as a park ranger and working at quite a few department stores, I have now been at my janitor job for 5 years. I just got a 2012 Volkswagon Jetta.

I am struggling greatly now at this current time but to answer your question, (and II still don’t know if you were asking caregivers or us disabled), yes, we do get better, we can live productive semi-happy lives. I came from the deepest, darkest depths of mental illness. But I survived. And I’ve done more than survived, I’ve had many great life experiences and I have many great memories of things I’ve done and people I’ve met. Well, my story may be moot to you but hopefully you can get something out of it.


#4

I cant find the right words to tell you of my appreciation for your response. This has been , by far, the darkest most terrifying circumstance we have ever endured.
My brother and I have always been tied at the hip, we have four other siblings. Our mom is battling addiction and we haven’t had her for a long time. Our dad(step dad but he raised us) passed of an overdose in 2010 and over half the rest of our family died by the time I was twelve.
My brother has gotten in trouble since a very young age. At the age of fourteen, he went to jail for a year, came back out and in April he got out after three years. When he got out, he was 19, had no visitations, no phone calls, had been beaten, bullied, and locked in solitary confinement for long months at a time. When he got out, we no longer had a home, our mom was on the streets along with our oldest sister, and I was all he had left. I believe the trauma was too much and triggered this illness.

With a toddler now, I’m afraid to have him home before he gets treatment and I cant possibly afford a good home, let alone the fact that he doesn’t believe anything is wrong. He constantly speaks about killing himself so that he can finally wake up from the dream he’s in…I want to bond him out but nowhere for him to go and terrified he will actually kill himself believing its a dream. My mom says shell get a weekly paid place and keep him there, I only feel thatd be worse because of her instability. but then again nothing is worse than him being in confinement! ughhhh!

His next court date is tuesday and they are trying to give him a year. I know that time does a lot, if used the right way. I know in my heart one day he’ll be home and your story has really helped me talking to someone who has been through this evil themself. You are so strong and so awesome to not only push through this so successfully but to openly share your story. Sorry for pouring our life out, Im going to find a support group soon so that i stop posting and bothering people. I am so appreciative of you reading and sharing though, thank you a million!
Ill definitely look into the legal organization you talked about!


#5

May only be applicable if he is under 21 (or 18?).

cc: @77nick77 @briaajay


#6

First of all, you’re not bothering anyone. At one time or another all of us on this site have used it for support.
This site is here to help each other and offer support including cases like yours. Wow, I must say that you and your family have been through more than your share of troubles. I was an addict myself in the late 80’s but I got clean in 1990. I think a support group would be helpful for you, and if you think this site helps you, I would use it in conjunction with the real life support.

I’ve felt suicidal in the past but not so much anymore.
I don’t want to add to your troubles but when I researched suicide online, one of the things they said is that if a person talks about suicide a lot, than they are at a very high risk. Most people want to dismiss someone who talks a lot about suicide as, “Oh, he/she just talks about it to get attention”. Not true. People who talk about are in very real danger of following through. I’m sure you know all this. I would be wary of having your brother live by himself. Isolation is too easy to do. Well, I wish you good luck with your brother. If I didn’t have my families unwavering support in all these years, I probably wouldn’t have accomplished what I have. Family support is invaluable, your brother is lucky to have you.


#7

Briaajay, I will pray for you and your brother and your whole family before the Blessed Virgin. God bless you.


#8

Yes, in fact. But I and others who have clawed our way up the steep hill by participating in our own recovery. I lived in hell from 1994 to 2003. I don’t anymore.

The sort of treatment resistance you describe in your sibling suggests at least one DSM Axis II Cluster B personality disorder, along with Paranoid PD in Cluster A. (The ones at the links below.)

As well as substance abuse. (I’m not there to see first-hand, but I have been working with tx-resistant substance abusers since 1987. And anti-socials, sociopaths, psychopaths and all of the other PDs since 1998.)

The first order of business is always the substance abuse. If that is not removed from the picture, the likelihood of any further progress is substantially reduced. And usually impossible.

And, sad to say, but it’s just the facts: If he is unwilling to give up his addiction (if that is the case, as it so often is when the picture is as described here), you and he should rightfully expect that he will be treated harshly when he becomes manic and violent while in custody.

My I ask what state system he is in?

http://www.millonpersonality.com/theory/diagnostic-taxonomy/narcissistic.htm

http://www.millonpersonality.com/theory/diagnostic-taxonomy/antisocial.htm

http://www.millonpersonality.com/theory/diagnostic-taxonomy/turbulent.htm

http://www.millonpersonality.com/theory/diagnostic-taxonomy/sadistic.htm

http://www.millonpersonality.com/theory/diagnostic-taxonomy/borderline.htm

http://www.millonpersonality.com/theory/diagnostic-taxonomy/paranoid.htm

With regard to your own recovery from be the adult child of a troubled mother – which is something you can actually do something about – here are some truly useful links:

http://www.adultchildren.org/

http://coda.org/

MBCT - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22340145
ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act
MBBT – https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system
Standard CBT – https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Psychotherapy & scroll down

Get two or more of those “down,” and one can use the skills therefrom in this way to combat delusional thinking and emotional reactivity very quickly: 10 StEP – http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-10-steps-of-emotion-processing.html


#9

John Lennon sang, “When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comforts me.” That’s my experience too, John!

I’m afraid I was horribly ill with schizophrenia and drug addiction and have come more than halfway out.

Jayster


#10

Awesome and your story helped me as a caregiver


#11

Thank you everyone for your support…

I am trying to read all of these links and get myself educated fully. I am currently working two jobs and in college, and have a little one so I dont get much time. But I am trying my best. Im so down…

Anyway, my brother is in brevard county jail, located in florida. Still no evaluation, still in solitary and court on tuesday. Im so angry that my hands are tied so strongly. I wish i could afford a lawyer or speak to the judge. Ive been begging my boss to let me have a couple hours off just to go to the court date and hopefully be able to speak…


#12

I am so sorry to hear about your brother being in solitary confinement. It shouldn’t be legal to do that to someone with schizophrenia. It’s an abuse of basic human rights if you ask me.

I wonder if Amnesty International does any work in this area? They deal with human rights abuses of detainees around the world. This certainly qualifies.

My bf has paranoid sz and while I wasn’t with him during the worst of it, he says he is doing much better now, although it is certainly still a daily struggle. He has been ill for about 10 years.

He says he used to not bathe or be able to take care of stuff like paying bills or buying groceries or having close personal relationships. He has gone from living in AFC to his own apt. now. He is very responsible and is on top of all the details of his life and even helps me stay on track. He does odd jobs and is a great listener and funny.

Life is hard for him but he has fun sometimes and finds meaning in helping others. So overall yeah he is much better but it’s still a struggle. I think it’s different for everyone but never give up on your loved one with sz, healing is always possible but it’s a long road I think. Lett them know that you care no matter what and even if they don’t seem to believe you let them know anyway.