Just sickened

My son has been living in a residential care facility. Not a great place, but I thought at least SAFE. Yes they had messed up his meds, and then tried to discharge him, but… we were in the process of trying to find some place else for him.

Well, Friday I was called that they were calling the police because he was in an altercation with another resident. By the time I got there, his case manager had removed him from the residence - she was scheduled to take him out that afternoon anyway.

Turns out my son had been punched multiple times in the head. He was afraid to go back. So I got some of his clothes, his laptop, and his CDs, and met him and his case manager somewhere else.

Yesterday he was still refusing to return. I went over the weekend and just picked up some meds. This morning the weather turned chilly, so I went to pick up some long sleeved shirts for him as well as his meds. When I opened his closet, I saw all of his clothes, as well as everything from the shelf, piled on the floor. I was not happy to see that, but I figured, someone had vented some anger and messed up his stuff. But… then… I started taking things out and realized that everything had been cut or slashed! Ruined - all his clothes, all his books. Some electronics cords.

I had a staff person come to see the mess. She had the gall to suggest that maybe HE had done it. I made it clear that I was the last person in the closet on Friday, after he had left the premises, and that it was NOT like that when I had left.

GRRRRRR!!! Mama Bear mode!!! Why does this CRAP have to happen???

Aww, that makes my heart hurt for you and your son. Is he staying with you now or are you making different arrangements?

No matter what has gone on in the past, or what is presently going on, the Momma Bear is always there inside of all of us Moms. I am dealing with Momma Bear syndrome a bit myself right now. I actually feel as if I could rip somebody apart right now, jk, but pretty close:)

Hang in there - I hope things will settle down for you and your son soon, and he will find suitable living arrangements.

He is staying with me right now and is doing pretty well. My husband (his stepdad) is not happy about it, but I don’t see any alternative right now.

He is taking his meds, and is sleeping pretty well. Last night I heard him when I went to bed, so I went down and sat with him. We finally turned on the tv in his room for awhile and watched something innocuous on Food Channel, and he cuddled up with me and got feeling more secure.

Taking his meds and sleeping, two very good things for our boys.

i am furious for you…call the police… i hope you get some justice for this mess,please know you are being thought about and warm hugs are being sent your way…hang tough

I’d report the place to the states mental health people, and maybe even sue them.
Obviously one of the residents there didnt like him and once he was gone, destroyed his stuff… and why would they throw HIm out if he was the one who got assaulted?
Sounds like it’s better he’s out of a place like that though. Hope he continues to do well at home.

I don`t know if it is worth it ( going at those people ) except reporting them to the proper authorities. You really have to choose your battles with this. Save your energy for the next one. It really wore me down trying to fight everyone. I was definitely ths mama bear!

Did you take any pictures? I would and I would be sending them to someone. That is ridiculous.

I know this is not a good situation however I can’t help but think, he just isn’t supposed to be there. Keeping you both in my thoughts that this door closing is leading you to another door that is better suited to take care of his needs.

I already had an open complaint with the state department that regulates long term care facilities - this was in regards to them mishandling my son’s meds. I contacted them yesterday to find out if I should open a new complaint. They told me they would add on to the original complaint.

I called the residence manager as I left work yesterday, and she said investigators were there, taking pictures of all of the destroyed items. I did make a police report, but doubt anything will come of that - I think the state regulation group is probably the best way to go, and was pleasantly surprised that they were ready now to respond immediately.