Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

AAAAAH! What to do?

So my son has hit another new level with this disease. I came home late and thought he was asleep in his room. I did my normal routine and went to bed. As soon as I layed down, he started ranting and saying some very mean and nasty things. When he gets in that state, and that rage, I am too scared to confront him. I stayed in my room with the door locked. His rage began to escalate. I could hear he had pulled my knives out of the butcher block and he was smacking them together and saying someone should die. I phoned my husband and told him he had to come home right away. So for a terrifying 20 minutes until he got home I was listening to banging and clanging and yelling from my son. By the time my husband got home, my son had put the knives away and was in his room ranting to himself. He had sliced up my wall unit, the refrigerator, and even took a chip out of my granite counter top and dented the knife. I hate living like this! The meds still aren’t working!!!

1 Like

What kind or response would you have gotten if you had called law enforcement for help with a mental crisis?

How terrifying- I am relieved you were able to keep yourself safe.

Did they process his disability yet? Can you afford to move him out without it?

3 Likes

I am very worried - I don’t think it is safe for you to live with your son. I’m glad you didn’t confront him.

6 Likes

I agree with @hope. You shouldn’t live with him anymore. He’s too dangerous and unstable. Maybe he needs to be in the hospital right now

2 Likes

The knives should not be in an easy-to-find place. I agree with the others that an involuntary psychiatric evaluation/hospitalization is needed.

3 Likes

I think he needs to be baker acted and you should definitely hide all sharp and dangerous objects around the house . His meds may need changing or adjusting . His meds may be the cause of this , either way some change must be done . My heart goes out to you as i know this fear , good luck :pray:

4 Likes

It seems pretty clear that his his current med is not working. Or is even causing him to be belligerent.
I agree with others that you are not safe. Can he be hospitalized and have his meds changed? I would think that what you have described falls under the category of “is a danger to others”.
I hope and pray for the best for him. How frustrating that he is willing to take meds and yet they aren’t working.
Please stay safe.

I should have called law enforcement. I just kept hoping the terror would end. Law enforcement just picks him up and then we get a call the next day to pick him up. They have not processed disability yet and right now trying to find housing that we can afford is impossible! Where we live the housing and apartments have blown up! The rents are so high-no affordable housing to be found.

1 Like

Tippy, remind me, are you in a location that has a NAMI chapter? A lot of the NAMI support groups are still done online, a local NAMI support group could help you get better help from law enforcement in your area - if better help is available.

I’m not sure why your son isn’t being held over for a psych assessment instead of being released the next day.

It may seem like it doesn’t help to keep calling law enforcement, but you have to keep trying to keep yourself safe. We had a family years ago that had stopped calling because they felt the same way. We convinced them to call and the last time they got some real help. To find out my area’s options, I called my county judge’s office and was referred to the officer that writes up the mental health cases that get presented to the judge.

Have you checked on the status of the disability application? My son’s had been approved for weeks before we found out by sitting on hold(for what seemed like forever) to check the status at the general Social Security phone number.

Thanks for posting back and take care!

2 Likes

Thank you for your reply. I will call law enforcement next time for sure! I spoke with someone at NAMI and the resources I was given were not helpful. One was a homeless shelter, another was a # for someone to come out to help deescalate the situation and when I phoned that #, the person was quite confused and said they don’t do that. After the holidays when I have some time, I am going to call social security. I am worried that nothing has happened and his case was cancelled. They sent me paperwork for him to fill out that I got on a Friday and they said I needed it returned by Sunday or the case would be closed! The offices are closed on weekends so there was NO way I could do it in the time frame they gave. I am thinking that I will have to start all over again!

Oh no! You received one of the Social Security infamous (infamous to me anyway) short notice letters! ARRGH. My husband wonders why I panic when I see something from SS is in the mail.

I am sorry, some NAMI groups are useless outside of hosting Family to Family.

Tippy, When it comes to calling law enforcement for help, in some states you do need to show multiple interventions with police to get additional help.

I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this Tippy. I know what its like to be frightened like that. We were on a cycle of 6 weeks in hospital, then 6 weeks out, before it became unbearable because my son was just so unwell. EAch time we had to call police to have him taken back to the hospital. We would more often than not organise this with police while my son was asleep in the morning and we would leave the house. Despite these regular admissions, and treatment with all manner of different anti-psychotics, it was only when he was put on Clozaril (Clozapine) that life began to turn around - for him and for all of us. Perhaps if you tell the hospital next time that he cannot be discharged to your address, and that he needs to be on a treatment order , it might be a turning point? Is there anyone else in the community you can engage with to support your request for a treatment order? will keep you in my thoughts

I’m also going to add to the chorus and say call the police! My first thought on reading your post was concern for your husband. What if your son had not calmed somewhat when he walked in the door? It seems quite possible that one or the other would have been injured. Would you have stayed safe while an altercation was going on? Too late to call for help then. Even if it seems futile for long term help (and I hope eventually that help will come), at least everyone stays safe until the episode passes.

Every time he goes to the hospital, we have NEVER been spoken to anyone about what to do with him. We do not have POA on him. Can’t find out any info, can’t talk to a case manager (I try to every time). It’s like they read from a script, he’s over 18 and does not give us permission to be spoken to.

1 Like

Well, I guess we are working towards that goal!

I ran into that as well - I finally managed to turn that around by telling them that I wasn’t asking them to give me any information on him or his treatment. I wanted to Give Them information. I got around that whole over 18 privacy issue and was able to make sure they understood how unwell my son was by telling them exactly what was going on. It wasn’t easy - you get some staff who are so over their job they just don’t care, but then you get someone who will listen. I wish you the very best Tippy.

2 Likes

We hid all knives for at least 3 years…my son chased me with a knife, and prior suicidal.he also choked me…i had to call police…i had locked myself in bathroom.several.times and slept.on floor at night and left to stay in hotel…he even chased me when i was escaping… he was a nice sweet kid…very demonic…like a devil is talking.to him.
.and possessed…we went thru court and worked out plea bargain if he stays on meds…he then has been on meds…we got the dna test from psych office to tell what meds he can handle…and they seemed to work, no more violence…calm,.got a little.job now putting security tags on shoes at store…and plays on computer on free time…still.doesnt engaged in activities like he used to…but calm…childish for age…

4 Likes

I have also tried that, I just keep getting the person who does not care. I will continue to try your approach. Thank you

1 Like

I have never heard about this dna test to find out what meds he can handle. Can it only be done through the psych office? His psychiatrist is only doing virtual appts. My son also used to be a sweet kid, very caring and outgoing. I don’t know who this person is that lives with me. He is a stranger to me. This disease destroys families and relationships!

1 Like