At least now I know the meaning and purpose of my life. What I’m meant to do. Unlike before all of this where I really sort of felt empty, devoid of direction, and my biggest worry was who to invite to our Christmas party and what am I packing for the kids for lunch.
In a twisted yet logical way, I feel more grounded than I did before. I don’t have many options and I don’t have to worry about different choices and making decisions. Now it’s just ONE purpose, ONE goal.
It’s funny how I get so depressed and hit rock bottom, but if I can get thru the lows, I feel alittle stronger for it. I still cry a lot, but in some ways it’s somewhat healing and cleansing.
My new norm, painful and strengthening @ the same time.