Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Meaning of my life

At least now I know the meaning and purpose of my life. What I’m meant to do. Unlike before all of this where I really sort of felt empty, devoid of direction, and my biggest worry was who to invite to our Christmas party and what am I packing for the kids for lunch.

In a twisted yet logical way, I feel more grounded than I did before. I don’t have many options and I don’t have to worry about different choices and making decisions. Now it’s just ONE purpose, ONE goal.

It’s funny how I get so depressed and hit rock bottom, but if I can get thru the lows, I feel alittle stronger for it. I still cry a lot, but in some ways it’s somewhat healing and cleansing.

My new norm, painful and strengthening @ the same time.

Good for you! I think we learn from the pain, and come out stronger, better able to survive the next pain, if it comes, while hoping for the good times. It’s sort of like surfing through life: over the ups and downs but staying afloat.

1 Like

@oldladyblue, please tell me you were up all night suffering from insomnia, because I have not slept one wink yet! Misery loves company… Lol

I remember reading on one of your posts that you suffer from insomnia also. It’s really terrible, isn’t it?

I figure you either went to bed super early and got up super early or you were up all night like I was… Grrrrr
Another day with no sleep

Thank you for always posting positive messages for everyone. I hope your daughter is doing somewhat better on the meds.

1 Like

Thank you for your post @mbheart and for your compliment. I gained sooooo much from this site that I must try to help in return. Without this site, I don’t think my daughter would be in recovery right now. I took actions based on what I learned here, and was not afraid to take those actions based on knowing others’ stories.

I seem to go to sleep alright (I take several things to help me sleep. The best combination is a magnesium drink combined with a herbal sleepy tea combination.) I wake from 4-6 hours later and am up for approximately 2 hours, then can go back to sleep again (usually). So I go to sleep early, wake early, get on the computer for a while, return to sleep and then wake to go to work by 8am. Weird nightlife for sure. And I am usually tired all the time. But at least I figured out a system to get more sleep.

My daughter is doing sooooooo well, I really feel it is as close to a miracle as I could expect. I can only hope she continues to medicate and that no severe side effects show up. Thank you for asking.

I was at my most personal low when circumstances led to my daughter’s recovery. So there is positive even in the negative things we experience.

1 Like