I’m wondering if somebody can help with giving me advice please.
My partner/ex-partner is back on meds almost 7 weeks now. Positive symptoms have improved but the negative symptoms are active. He is still very much up and down in his behaviour and although I can see some improvement, I have noticed paranoia and anxiety as new symptoms.
Whilst we are not in a relationship (his choice), he still appears to see me as his partner the majority of the time and has agreed to his medical team dealing with me. I followed up on this request but doctors were not responding to me. I persevered in following up with the team and finally met with my partners psychiatrist today.
My partner has been finding it difficult to attend sessions with his team and has told me he can’t get the words out when he meets with them. He specifically asked me to pass on details in relation to his thoughts as he can’t express them when he himself meets with the team. Also things he has told me when he is very down are worrying and to me, are a cry for help. My partner is only opening up to me and doesn’t want to discuss things with his friends or family,
I tried to explain all of this to his psychiatrist today but I was basically told it wasn’t healthy for my partner to be seeking support and solace in me as I’m not family and no longer a partner. I explained the situation to them and said he can’t seem to open up but they refuse to deal with this unless he expresses it himself and speaks the words for himself. I’ve told them I am trying to encourage my partner to attend meetings with them and talk to them about how he is feeling but he doesn’t appear to be able to at the moment. I asked about me accompanying him to appointments and waiting outside the room if this would encourage him to attend and try open up, without me being involved. His team don’t want this either, they feel as I’m not family and no longer a partner, I shouldn’t be involved in any way as it’s unhealthy. I’ve explained that only a few days ago my partner said he forgets at times that we are no longer in a relationship.
Has anyone had any similar experiences with medics trying to create a barrier such as this? I think it’s very strange and I totally acknowledge the need to create independence etc, but think this isn’t the right approach for his psychiatrist to take. I am trying to help my partners voice to be heard and feel its unfair that whilst I’m not family or partner, I am still the person he is opening up to and asking to help. He always tells me he knows I will get him the help he needs but right now, I feel if his medical team won’t deal with me, I don’t know how I can help with getting him to open up.
His team also advise that they will be advising him to deal with the situation himself and not rely on me as I’m not family or a partner. I expressed my concerns that saying something such as that could isolate him and may make him feel more anxious or paranoid.
I’d be grateful for anyone’s thoughts on this situation.