Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My boyfriend thinks I am cheating on him

Hello. My boyfriend have paranoid schizophrenia. We are in relationship for more than a year. We live together and everything was good. Until recently, at first he start to ask me if I am masturbating (when I was laying down to rest or to sleep). I was not masturbating and I was telling him that, but he was not believing me. We spoke about it with him, he also spoke with his doctor and it seems that he get better and don’t have such thought anymore. But than he starts to think that I am cheating on him, with one of his friends, whom is helping my boyfriend for many many years to handle his symptoms.
We decide to have a small break and my boyfriend yesterday went to stay at his best friend house in another town for few days.
And today he called me and told me that he know that yesterday night his friend was at our place (with me).
I don’t know what to do and how to act.
My boyfriend is taking medicines. Few months ago after asking his doctor he start to take one medic less, but this last days when he understood that he have this paranoia he again spoke with his doctor and put up medics doze. Sometimes he understand that what he thinks is not the truth, but than he again at that emotional condition and I am worry if he will have panic attack.
I don’t know if he should be hospitalized or this thoughts will pass with time.
I never cheat on him and I am not going to! And with this his friend we our not even close.
If somebody can tell how I can act in this situation.

Maybe you should take a brake from this relationship.

I’ve had the same exact situation happen, so I know exactly how you feel.

He would also think I’m cheating on him, without any reason at all for him to even think that. I’ve never cheated on him.

The cheating accusations went on for a couples months. He would have really bad episodes, scream at me, hit things, say horrible things to me, honestly just treated me like shit thinking that I’m cheating on him. It made me very depressed

The cheating accusations and paranoia stopped once he got hospitalized and was on medication, but other issues and episodes still do happen.

All I can say is, to remember your worth. remember that you aren’t actually cheating, so you shouldn’t be accused and tormented about something you aren’t even doing. So don’t let the accusations get to you, just know that you have nothing to do with it, it’s just his mental illness.

If he is taking his medication, I hope he does get better and realize you aren’t actually cheating on him. It is a long journey, certain things do eventually stop, he will probably stop thinking you’re cheating on him if he’s on medication for a while, but he can go on to having episodes in other ways (I’m not saying this is an always, just what’s happened in my situation).

There hasn’t been any accusations/paranoia of me cheating for a long time now, but whenever one type of episode stops, he has episodes in other ways. His episodes aren’t as frequent as they were before, they happen here and there.

The only thing you can do is either choose to get out of the relationship if it’s becoming very unhealthy for you, or if you decide to stay in the relationship, get him to go to the hospital, hopefully he’s taking his meds, that he’s seeking help and wants the help

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I have to relate to my ex-husband and his delusions. He would believe that I was having affairs with people at work while he was at home NOT working. He and I married while I was in my early 20s. Looking back, I realize that I was trying to help him but there was no one helping me - mainly because I hadn’t told anyone about his issues. It was a mistake I will long regret. My son now has similar issues and my life has been mostly about working and taking care of everyone else’s “issues”. It might sound harsh, but if you have no children with your boyfriend, and depending on your age, there is I’m sure a much easier life out there for you. Not saying you should leave him because that’s your call - but now you are aware of just some of the problems that you are getting deeper and deeper into. I hope you think long and hard, considering you have the rest of your life to either enjoy or regret your decision.

Take care and be blessed! :palm_tree:


It’s so crazy reading your post just now because I’ve actually been thinking so much about how my life is going to be like being married to my boyfriend

This has been a very long journey and I can talk to my friends or family members about it but no one will really understand how it feels unless they are or have been in the same situation which is why I came to this forum.

I’ve posted before about his past delusions about cheating, those haven’t happened in a long time, it’s more him being very verbally abusive now when he’s having episodes.

He’s the love of my life so I don’t want to leave him and I do understand his episodes just come from his mental illness, and I’ve stuck by his side through it all but for my future and for my happiness I’m starting to think that I should leave before the marriage process starts, which will be in the next year to two years max

It’s hard because I give him the benefit of the doubt and I try to have a lot of hope that he will try to get better as in will willingly continue taking his medication, rather than saying he doesn’t want to be on them and hoping that he won’t treat me badly when we’re married, I try to remember him for who he was before his mental illness

I get worried about what my future being married to him will look like considering all the numerous episodes that have happened and how he’s treated me.

It’s hard. You love the person so much so you don’t want to leave them but then you’re worried for your future

It makes me upset and cry thinking of leaving him but also makes me worried thinking about marrying him

But thank you for your post @Pookey52 I really needed it right now. Take care, sending you lots of love & I wish you and your family lots of happiness :heart:

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