Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Relationship questions - My partner is living with schizophrenia

My partner is living with schizophrenia. She is on meds and has been for 10 or so years. She has only had one episode of psychosis and that was before the meds. I have been with her for 5 years. Things are mostly great. She doesn’t have flat affect or anything like that. I just get frustrated at times because I am always being accused of things. She asks if I talk with other women (and she means anyone, friends, family, etc). It’s strange. I only talk to my best friend of 35 years and my mom–I have lost touch with all of my female friends that I had before this relationship because I worry my partner will think I am cheating. It is so frustrating because she has a best friend that offered to sleep with her when she first came out and I support her going to this woman’s house when I’m at work, they text constantly throughout the day and night, even though I work 10 hour days (with travel) and we only get to spend about 5 hours a day together at the best of times. I have never had sexual relationships with any of my friends, yet I don’t talk to them anymore. She has kept me from family occasions because she didn’t want to go and made me feel like I would be a horrible human being if I went without her. She tells me every few weeks or so that she feels like I am pulling away and being distant, but when I ask her for specifics about what I am doing, she can’t tell me anything. It’s a “feeling”. Well I cannot change her FEELINGS. I can only change my actions and I can’t do that if I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I just feel so depressed even though my life is more stable than it’s ever been in some ways (money, career, etc). I am wondering if any of this has to do with the schizophrenia, or if I am just dealing with a controlling person who wants to keep me from my family and friends…she has even asked if I am sleeping with my 1 female coworker. I am not. Having these questions all the time is confusing and frustrating and feels horrible.

Sadly, this is a really common symptom in schizophrenia… search on the term “cheating” in this forum and you’ll see it comes up often. Here are some that my provide some value to you:

and

and

and

and

1 Like

Hi @kanadian_kat . Welcome to the forum. What you are describing sounds to me like your partner is experiencing a strong delusion about your sexual interest in other women. Delusions (strong beliefs that conflict with reality) are VERY common in those with sz. My daughter was delusional about her step father to the point where an active police detective investigation was occurring because she was so certain she was being sexually abused by him (she wasn’t) and kept calling 911 (even when he wasn’t home, or when I was home and knew he hadn’t gone near her room). It is very hard, if not impossible, to talk someone out of their delusion.

There are many books that talk about the symptoms of schizophrenia, and NAMI has group support meetings to help those with schizophrenia and their families. I hope you keep coming here to learn how you might be able to understand/help your partner. I personally had great success with Dr. Amador’s LEAP process to help my daughter get over some of her delusions, or at least for us to calm them down. You might want to read his book. It helped me understand delusions. Good luck.

1 Like