I hope that I’m not pushing my advice on you but thinking about it that he’s only trying to survive is going to get you into trouble. He wants to hurt people. My sister wants to hurt people. He wouldn’t have committed all those violent crimes if that wasn’t true. My sister wouldn’t have made another girl at school cry for fun when she knew that I was a victim of the same treatment if she didn’t like hurting people if she didn’t like it. We’re about three years apart and we went to the same school. She knew what they were doing to me. She kept me so depressed with how she treated me and how she manipulated my parents into treating me that I was (in my opinion) nearly nonfuctional for many years.
Have you other siblings other than your brother. ?
Amazingly, my brother has always been very regeful, throwing severe temper tantrums…I don’t know if this has anything to do with anything.
When he was 2 years old he threw himself out of his high chair since the toast did not come out of the toaster fast enough. He broke his femur and was in a body cast with traction for 6 weeks in the hospital. When anyone came to visit him he’d scream and tell us all to get out of his room. The nurses said that he’d, in multiple rages, throw his body around in the hospital bed and they were afraid that he’d pull the traction down on his head.
And so many more examples of this…
I never think anything is too much advice. I am grateful that I am getting help and someone to talk to rather then thinking this through all on my own which is very lonely.
Thank you for asking!
There is my twin sister who has been on emotional disability for 30 years, diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
There is another sister living in the same town as my brother.
Both of our parents are deceased.
My 2 sisters I just mentioned want nothing to do with my brother.
Thanks!
Where is he now , hospital , group home , etc? Maybe you could have a sit down with the other siblings , and see if yee can trash anything out. I too think it unreasonable to take him in to your family. No harm in having a sit down though.
You’re always welcome here. I often wish that more family members and care givers posted on here so that I could see their side of things. I have a fiancee (sometimes I say boyfriend because we are no where near being financially stable enough to get married) and I get sad wondering what I put him through.
C isn’t like your brother. He’s a good guy and really sweet to me but hearing the stories of how other sz’s act out when they get sick helps me identify what I’m doing that might be hurting him. I used to get super pariniod that he was cheating (we’ve been together about 7yrs and I have never seen any evidence of it even once) but then I read a few girlfriend and boyfriends get on here talking about how their sz partner believed that they were cheating on them when even when they had only been out of the room for five minutes.
Needless to say I’m always really grateful for these stories. They help me distinguish between what’s in my head, (from what I’ve seen a cheating partner is a pretty common delusion) and what is real.
I think that hearing your experiences would be a learning experience for all of us because we might very well come in contact with someone like your brother one day and knowing what he’s like we’d be less likely to be taken in. My sister is the master of taking people in. She has a sweet, loving, boyfriend right now who is a hard worker and sacrifices whole weekends just to go see her in California. (He lives in Ohio. His cousin or something is an airline pilot so he gets to fly for free but it takes almost an entire day just there and back so it’s a big chunk of time he’s sacrificing for her.) He even wanted to give her a tv he won at work but his brother stole it. He has a job, is a reservist in the army, and is going to college full time. I’m pretty sure she’s stepping out on him a lot. She went to Las Vegas on labor day weekend with some guys and bragged to my mom that all she had to pay for was the $25 in gas to get up there. She stayed all weekend I think so they must have paid for the hotel. It just seems fishy to me.
But to get back on subject, I hope you come back. It makes me feel a lot better to know that I’m not the only one with a sibling that is inexplicably horrible. No one believes me when I try to describe her. She does things that I can’t describe but are so hurtful. Think like a back handed complement but 1000 times worse.
try my blog: http://cbdpush.com
you will find lots of information on there, including how to act on your brother’s behalf (seeking practitioners, hope and recovery methodology, and lots more). here is a sampling of my blog, this post is titled “facilitating recovery:” http://cbdpush.com/2014/05/28/facilitating-recovery/
you can ignore the cbd part of it as it might not pertain to your brother’s situation. I think you are doing a great job helping your brother out given his checkered past, very commendable.