Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My father in law fainted - he is in hospital - he has diabetes and i need to find out what questions to ask a dr

#1

I’m really worried for my husband’s father.
He is in hospital after passing out yesterday.
Is there a way i can find out how serious it is? the cause? the implications?

i spoke to a person on his ward a moment ago but i don’t know how to support my husband
of course if it is ever serious his mother would want him there I suppose
but my husband doesn’t know how to take any kind of hint and seems happy to go without seeing his parents for the next week.

I always want him to be a bit more smart about this but he takes what his mum says at point blank
my husband is autistic and doesn’t take any kind of social cue that is not explicit

#2

I am sorry you have no easy way to find out what is happening. I have gotten information over the phone when a loved one was in the hospital simply by calling the hospital at different times and hoping I got someone on the phone who was willing to talk. Staff member change shifts and duties often in a hospital, and sometimes one staff member will talk, where another one won’t during the same shift, or a different shift.

#3

Thanks for your words
i found out the next day from my mother in law that he’s in pretty bad shape

i really need info on how to support relatives / in laws dying
my husband needs support
he’s autistic and without my words i think he would have taken his mother literally when she said on the phone that it wasn’t serious and that he didn’t need to come and visit.

any tips
anyone ?

#4

Oh, my. I really don’t know other than to be as kind as possible in getting the idea across.

My daughter’s grandmother has Parkinson’s and is 92 years old, I have urged my daughter to call her often because we don’t know when would be the last conversation. She hasn’t spoken to her in 3 months, nor has the grandmother tried to call. I don’t push it. I believe my daughter’s psychosis might have started when her father passed suddenly 5 years ago.

Maybe it is best to allow your husband to be in denial of how bad his father is. I really have no idea. It is very personal to you.

#5

Thank you for your reply
I’m sorry I really didn’t think when i posted of the humans on the other end
I assumed there were accepted wisdoms and the ‘really experienced’
of course I understand what you said
I forgot there are things less open to google searches

#6

It is extremely OK that you posted your question @three . I try now not to assume anything as each life situation is different. I do know that it is hard to force acceptance of any idea that someone is against accepting… if that makes sense. It’s like trying to break a delusion, a strong belief is also hard to break. And I have been guilty many times of refusing to accept a truth that was staring me right in the face because I didn’t want to know.

All I know now, after years of struggle with my daughter and my husband’s problems, is that kindness and understanding works way, way better than forcing my own opinion.

I wish you luck in sorting out the situation in your family. I’m sure it’s hard for you to decide what to do.