But what if agreeing with them ultimately means admitting to doing something that you didn’t do and by doing this could put you as risk of a violent reaction…for example, my husband was molested as a child. He did not know until he was 18 or 19 when a visiting family member let it slip. He has apparently blocked it out & thankfully continued to do so for good 20yrs. Then about a year ago, it all came back. Like a flood the memories came rushing back & now at 42yrs old he suddenly remembered everything, or what we think is everything. Why they came back I don’t know, but he hasn’t dealt with it or even spoken about it since that HORRIBLE night. Now when he’s in a delusion he thinks im doing that to our kids, then our oldest sone to his lil brother, then me to both our kids & the neighbors. Then he started saying i killed a baby, molested it to death & hid it in the attic. He gets in my face insisting i did these things, demanding answers & has even threatened to kill me. How do you go along with something like that. And even if you could stomach going along with it to avoid making things worse, how do you without putting yourself at risk.
My husband is the exact same way! He constantly is accusing me of cheating saying he hears me talking when I’m not, just last night he said he saw me doing sign language to a guy in the hallway of our home I don’t even know how to do sign language… he says he sees the guys in the house and I’m letting them in the door while he is sleeping. I talked more to him last night to figure out what exactly what he is seeing to try and understand and he says he doesn’t see actually people like can’t see what they look like he just sees shadows and it’s mostly at night. He also told me hears voices quite often. He has agreed to help and just started on a new medication. He is a former drug user so I think the meth has a lot to do with all this and it doesn’t help that he drinks now.
This especially has been challenging for me. My partner has a history of drug use (meth included) and currently tries to self medicate with alcohol, and prescribed meds (*when on adderall he usually destabilizes and gets paranoid like psychosis with illegal amphetamines). He says these things dont effect him negatively, but living together 5 yrs ive seen him get so much more stable the more sober he is, and worse the less he is sober. He gets angry at me for trying to get him to stop and says it’s always as bad. Hes a very addictive person.
My partner thinks i cheat on him, im called a doll and brainwashed by people, and i try to poison him. He has been in periods of more extreme psychosis and will list things that hes connected that dont even make sense to me. Places, and random people i didnt even know or see. Im faithful to him, I’ve never talked inappropriately, touched or been with anyone but him throughout. He’s constantly grappling with this, and asking me if i am doing this or what I’ve been up to. He’ll get angry with me sometimes, when i dont understand what exactly he even really thinks is going on, but also i see how devastatingly stressed hearing these things are happening make him other times. He doesnt want it to be true, but because of sz cant help but not believe his delusions somewhat. He used to check bathrooms at a previous shared workplace overnight when we worked as he thought id go in and someone was there id meet. I kissed him once when he was in a period of psychosis and he said my mouth tasted like novacaine and had a whole story for something that he saw mentally happen. The situations he imagines im doing are pretty brutal, I’m being used sexually and brainwashed, or im in on it all. Brainwashed to do awful things of all sorts is another big one in general. It is so hard to hear from your partner they think these things when you’re just a loving partner to them who wants nothing but the best and tried to help him where i can. I can still get hurt sometimes by it, you hear the most awful perception of yourself from the person youre closest to and hope would hold you as you really are, and i have to just remind myself of sz, and the closest loved ones typically become involved in the person’s delusions and that its part of the condition. This site did help me see the parallels in partners experience, which is unlike most people’s i know experience in relationships, so im so very thankful. I have seen his distress lead to real anger towards me when he’s really not well, or recently really drunk/ high so I’ve seen the potential for dangerous situations from this as well. He says he wouldnt do anything sober later, but those intense emotions and situations with inebriation are unpredictable.