My husband is absolutely passionless we never make love, if we try to, the meds get in the way. He is also very deadened and has very little passion. I am very unhappy, thinking of leaving. Help!
My husband with sz in a sea of negative symptoms
levelJ1
#2
Sex isn’t the end all be all to life. Negatives can take there toll in many areas besides that.
Maybe help him to try to learn a hobby or even to go for walks at the park with him. Encourage him to look at the blue sky’s and the green grass. Just taking in nature can inspire one a bit
Jayster
#3
Dear Morrie,
Lots of couples have one member interested in more sex than the other member.
I'm a sixty-five year old schizophrenic. I used to be very interested in sex. Presently, I'm in a relationship were she wants more sex than I do.
I think my problem is that my illness requires a lot of downtime. I'm with gal now who wants a lot of intimacy. She wants me involved in her job, her kids and grandchildren, her health issues, and cooking and eating together. Saying No to sex is just one area where I can grab a little of the downtime I need.
I'm a schizophrenic who has just marvelous physical health. Historically, I catch just about nothing. I think some of that vitality comes from a really healthy lifestyle, and hopefully some of that health runs over into energy and desire for sex.
If I were like you married to a schizophrenic, I think I would want him to use fish oil. I use it!
J.
@Morrie52
SurprisedJ
#4
Negative symptoms can deaden so many things. Please don’t leave him for negative symptoms.
I have a very deep swing in to the negative… the flatness… the monotone… the lack of expression… I’m still in there… under that block of wax… clawing to get out… but my brain wouldn’t let me.
I did still love… I did still feel… but had no way to express it… This illness and for a while… a too high dose of Seroquel made my life rust brown.
A med switch bought me out of it… The Seroquel got cut WAY back and Latuda got added and with therapy… that pulled me out of my negative symptoms.
As far as sex… Some meds come with a heavy punch of sexual dysfunction. I’m sure he loves you… but the meds we have can affect us as much as the illness.
Good luck and I’m hoping the best for both of you…
If your frustrated about this situation…
I’d say NAMI might be able to help… finding other people in your area who go through the same exact thing… it’s very helpful to find… your not alone.
They have a chapter in almost every town it seems.
sacred
#7
Morrie, my husband is schizophrenic and we also struggle with this issue. It’s probably not the negative symptoms of the illness but his medications that are messing with his hormones. They cause lack of libido, trouble with erection, and trouble with ejaculation. Be careful how you deal with the situation, because the frustration can lead to a person going off their meds. Going off meds can cause relapse, brain damage, and future resistance to medications. That’s why I won’t risk my husband trying it. Sometimes delaying a dose by a couple hours can help. A change of medication might help, but that’s a very delicate process. In the end, I love my husband. I married him because he’s someone I want to spend my life with, not just someone I want to screw.
There are a couple of different things to try. If you want to be sure it’s the medication and not the negative symptoms, have his prolactine levels tested. If they’re high, it’s the medications. Viagra helps with the erection, however, he has to be aroused for it to work. Talk to his pdoc, and ask if there is anything that can be done. Sometimes antidepressants can also be the cause, and those are more easily changed. There are two other medications that we know of, but haven’t tried yet. One we plan on trying in the next week or two. The other is one that helps the body have better access to testosterone. That one interferes with sperm production, so we won’t try it until after we’re done trying to have a baby.
Bluey
#9
I’m not experienced in relationships but i would guess his symptoms would worsen if you left…
Saadiqah
#10
I know how your husband feels, because I went through the same thing with my husband. I have sz and my meds affected my sex life. I had no libido and sometimes I refused sex, and he was very sad, it affected our marriage. After my meds stabilised me my libido went up a little. But I still struggle to achieve pleasure in sex. It’s worse for men, because they need an erection to have sex. Hope your husband recovers. Sorry I can’t say more…
EnoOtu
#11
Hi…I’m a male who has never been married; I’m SZ positive but the idea of divorce is something that I really don’t see anything wrong with…why continue being joined to someone who makes you unhappy?; that’s how I see it BUT I have never been married.
ChestRockwell
#12
Is this for real? Clearly he’s going to need something to achieve a full erection if he’s properly medicated. My psychiatrist’s told me that the old phenolthyzines hit libido but the newer drugs typically don’t at correct doses. In other words, he could be over-medicated. Or he could be under-medicated and abstaining from sex for delusional reasons. How long has he been stable?
odysseus1
#14
Yeah and then follow up with a submissive pose like this:
And say #@&% my brains out!!!
crimby
#15
If that’s what you have to do to be happy, maybe you should do it. Dealing with sz can be too much for some people. Try to keep things amicable, because a hostile divorce can be traumatizing.
CiaMom
#16
That’s awsome,my problem is I used to be sexual but now I feel no connection with my Sz fiance of 14 years.i’m not sure what to do a lot of resentment there I think my drive went right out the window I wonder if they make Viagra for women
SzAdmin
#17
Hi,
There have been a number of vitamins that research is showing can be helpful with negative symptoms.
Here is the list and information about them:
See the links below:
Sarcosine
http://www.schizophrenia.com/glycinetreat.htm
D-Serine
http://schizophrenia.com/?page_id=708
N-Acetyl cysteine (NAC)
http://schizophrenia.com/?page_id=706
Melatonin
http://schizophrenia.com/?page_id=714
B-Vitamins
http://schizophrenia.com/?page_id=716
cbbrown
#18
I’m in this kind of relationship. My partner is very interested in sex most of the time. I’ve lost interest in sex due to this illness and meds. We try to compromise, “okay we will have sex this night” sometimes we plan for it.