Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

My life is ruined


#1

Hello.
I’m new here.
My husband has been diagnosed 10 years ago…b4 we got married. But things were under control then.
He has been admitted unwilling twice…once by his parents and once by me.
We have to girls now 4 and 2 years.
I have moved in a in gulf country with him almost a year ago…his family is residing here two.
He is on medications and goes to Dr regularly but he’s not ok…he is turning my life hell.
Always paranoid and reacts on it. Very aggressive. Very resentful. He is always on my case calling me horrible names and being physically aggressive with me. It is only getting worse. He actually fought with our nanny and hit her. She called the police and I calmed her down so as not to file a case against him. He thinks I only stood by her.
He never sees the pain I go through bcoz of him or the hurt or the amount of sacrifices I make to keep this family together. The kids are in love with their daddy and so is he. But when he is starting to fall down…it starts with me. That’s y no one believes me from his family. They think he is totally fine. When I’m sure what will happen.
He is turning my life hell. He is actually trying to ban from leaving the country (he is a citizen and so are my kids I’m not)
I’m so tired and depressed. I have no friends or relatives here. He is staying with his parents now. But I’m not sure what to do anymore. He doesn’t want to let me go bcoz he wants the kids.
I’m scared of him and scared of what he can do. Before he took my baby from me and wouldn’t let me see her. And b4 he hit my 60 year old father and broke into our house.
I feel horrible


#2

I’m sorry you are going through this, please make sure you are safe. It sounds like your husband is not living with you so this is good. Be very careful what you do as these things can get out of hand. You may want to read the dance of anger or reach out to a safehouse for help. There are ways to leave a relationship with unstable people that can be successful. The Safehouse here recommends confrontation. I do not recommend that but to sneak away slowly and avoid any major confrontation. There are books on this. I had to pretend to move to CO as I was leading the way for my x to follow (looking back we both agree he had a MI) I sent things to my friend ahead of time and eventually left. I know this is not extremely helpful but I hope that you are safe.


#3

I am sorry that you are going through such hell. If he is on medication, it may be that they are no longer the correct medication.

If he is committing crimes, this is a serious matter. Many persons with serious mental illness cannot see the trouble they are causing others, and are paranoid of those trying to help. However, hurting people is a crime, and it will most likely only escalate into worse behavior until he is medicated properly, or he goes to jail.

I was married for 17 years to a man who was mean and abusive regularly. He used the kids as a reason to keep me from leaving (we had 4 children). Eventually, I had to leave to save myself from abuse. I snuck away and didn’t let him know where I was until after we divorced. It was so very hard.


#4

I hate this is happening. Try to find a caring person in your local Police or Fire Departments. They are trained to deal with this type of behavior. It will help if he does try to do something physical or harmful to you or your children. It’s important to keep safe.


#5

Unfortunately I have this plan ready. But as I explained I’m not a local …im sacred the police will stop me at the airport and take my kids
I think I should talk to a lawyer or so. I will get all my records straight in case it gets any dangerous


#6

First responders are there for anyone who needs help. They are good people. Maybe an attorney could help… I know as a First Responder if we know of a family that has mental illness involved there’s a lot more patience to help. Mental illness is not easy for anyone.


#7

Just to make sure I understand…You live outside the United States in foreign country? I ask because the actions you would need to take depend on the country where you are currently living.


#8

Yes I’m in the Arabian gulf area