I’ve been with my partner for 11 months. He has shown signs of a possible mental illness over the last few months and now thinks I want him harmed or killed. When he’s in the delusion he swears I’m giving someone the order to shoot him or kill him. He even heard someone answer back. Even when it’s impossible for me to talk he hears the words in my breath or hears me having conversations with someone in running water or when a fan is on. I’ve researched as much as I can. After several hours and some sleep he seems rational again and even apologizes. He also checks under the bed, the closet, the backyard, his car, for people that aren’t there and in places a person couldn’t be. He sees guns pointed at him in flower arrangements and shadows. He hasn’t been diagnosed because he hasn’t seen a doctor about this. He swears it’s witchcraft or demons at work. He also won’t believe me when I tell him it’s not me. He promises to see a doctor but he hasn’t yet. I’m at my wits end and don’t know how to proceed. I love him and don’t want to give up on him or abandon him. We aren’t able to be intimate because he hears his sisters and his ex crying or telling each other what we’re doing. I think he might have schizophrenia with paranoid and persecutory delusions. I can’t make him go to the doctor and he hasn’t threatened to harm himself or anyone else. I’m beginning to think he might be incapable of trusting anyone and that a relationship with him is impossible. Please help. Any advice would be appreciated.
The book I Am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help! How to Help Someone Accept Treatment should help. If you are living with him, and you think he has “paranoid and persecutory delusions” about you “giving someone the order to shoot him or kill him” I would have questions about your safety – as in maybe you should move out until he sees a psychiatrist and is on the road to recovery.
I’m sorry to read this. However, I am of the opinion that you should open your eyes as soon as possible. Your love won’t heal him, he needs medicine. Give him an ultimatum. Start treatment or leave him. You deserve a peaceful marriage. Look in the mirror, you are a strong woman, do not tolerate threats