Wisdom, even NAMI will admit that unmedicated people with scz are a risk for violence. If someone is telling you they are rarely violent, you have been misled. Is your partner diagnosed with schizophrenia? Is he on any meds for it? Forgive me if this information is posted somewhere and I missed it.
Our family members that respond to meds successfully -and are on meds- are the same risk for violence as the general population.
I have replied via the email and do not see it posted here. If anybody can see that in their inbox and knows how to forward to the post page that would be great. Thanks
Starts: āNo apologies necessaryā¦ā
Hope, you might have it as a reply in your emailā¦
I think I found the problem. Does anybody on staff know the correct email address to send this response to from my initial email I received?
Can you post your reply the same way you posted these last responses? I didnāt get a message 
FWIWā most studies say that when you factor out drugs and alcohol the SMI are no more and perhaps less violent than the general population. Say that to a caregiver dealing with a dual diagnosis or self medicating anosognosiac. Or the highly functioning hoping to catch a break from stigma. Some of this comes out of the department of lies, damn lies and statistics. Fuller Torrey is well-funded and can say whatever he likes about the subject, but NAMI has to be more politic.
However, thereās a component of battered spouse syndrome, toxic relationship, codependency and folie a deux to accounts such as these. Abuse is never okay.
Dr Fuller Torrey disagrees with the rather vague āmost studiesā and NAMIās political posing on this matter.
Dr Torreyās book The Insanity Offense: How Americaās Failure to Treat the Seriously Mentally Ill Endangers Its Citizens , W.W. Norton - is a crucial read for those interested in his research on the subject of violence and schizophrenia.
No apologies necessary. I have not shared in awhileā¦
My partner suffers anosognosia, no official diagnosis though itās a consensus among multiple mental health care professionals in both his family and mine that have known him personally for years if not his or their whole lives, and as he has zero insight, it hasnāt been just near impossible to get him treatment but he has a severe and violent aversion to just the suggestion of ANY kind of therapy. Soā¦
No medication. It is his belief that everybody else needs help not him and everything bad that happens is somebody elseās fault.
The spectrum roller coaster is a very tough place to be. For all involved. I truly believe the best we can do for our loved ones is to keep showing them that love we have is here. Itās that consistency I think they recognize in moments that helps them come to the āgood placesā I call it. I also have tried to focus on dietary options, being without meds. Your classic ābrain foodsā high in omegas and niacin and other complex B-Vitamins (I urge supplements when I can but he often refuses I think just because he doesnāt trust anything I give him sometimes).Not sure how much it helps but as I mentioned the physical activity and the focus of a sport seems to be one of the best things for behavior and he loves it so thereās no pushing. The gym is also a great option.
The hardest part for me right now is managing my own depression and suffering as Iāve mentioned Iāve been neglecting myself, my own mental health, feeling beaten exhausted and worn down. Iām told itās common for MI to act out worst on people closest to themā¦ even if they get to a point where they are managing outside the home appropriately. Soā¦ be grateful I guess? Yeah well Iām still feeling a little jaded at this moment if time if folks will forgive me.
Thank you again to everybody here and keep sharing and try to be good to ourselves.
I think it was mentioned earlier in this thread about Borderline Personality Disorder. I think the idea was trying to suggest that BPD is characterized generally by a fear of abandonment and thus associates with co-dependent and abusive relationships.
Iām no psychologist but I DO know, in my personal situation, this does not apply to my own thinking.
Great thoughts/ideas though for others to ponder and/or learn about researching or talking to their own psychiatrist.
I have to mention, per the very beginning of this thread, my partner and I are and have been planning for a number of months now on celebrating some big events for us personally (donāt get me started about how bad and hard just getting him to use the concept of scheduling and why we have to use it was. Years long effort folksā¦yearsā¦ is there sunshine at the end of this tunnel?? Yes? Hope? How long will it last??)
So he had an episode a couple nights ago where he decided our relationship was āfakeā.
Sound familiar?
Just want to mention everybody on thread has had very, very excellent things to sayā¦
How great that your partner is able to function well enough to be a big bread winner and work on a degree. The abuse part is a major concern. Be safe.
forever,yep, a long timeā¦
Just finished dealing with a person of this nature. Started out as a sweet heart and was very loving but any time he was angry drinking or weed he was like a totally different person my final incident happened last weekend when i was made to drive around until wee hours of morning by him being emotionally and almost physically tortured threatened to punch me in my face days b4 heād already punched scratched himself the same night he yook my favorite pen and stabbed him self in his hand and could barely get it yo stop bleeding. My friends colleagues called the cops and had him removed from me. Honestly I never been humiliated so bad with some of the insults.
Speaking as a mother, Iām begging you not to worry about what your family and friends will think. They arenāt the ones who have to deal with this abusive situation day in and day out, and would likely not tolerate it themselves. Do the best thing for YOU.
What about his family? Are they helping, or are they just happy that someone else is taking care of him?
Run. Run far, run fast. I have been married to a man with sz for 12 years and have had enough. You donāt want 12 years of this, believe me. The times that were good between my husband and I, and there were many, only make things even more confusing as my husband yells at me a lot, but then tries to console me with the good part of him, as it he were 2 people. It is a traumatic and heartbreaking life. Get out while you still can. You donāt want to invest in years of heartbreak.
There is a line. There has to be. You can love someone and find ways to support them without you being hurt. Living with someone with a mental illness is always going to be difficult but we have to chose how much abuse is acceptable as well. Just remember loving someone and oweing them are very different things. I owe my husband my loyalty, my fidelity and to honor him. But in my support I canāt completely lose myself in the pain and anger her projects either. You have one life to live and I will not tell you what yo do but from someone who has been there in my own way, I would say that they have to be able to meet you halfway in as much as they are able and have a support system outside of just you firstā¦before you make a lifelong commitment to what could become a much harder situation to leave.