My son just left Home after 5 months of Hospital and Rehabiliation


#1

I think I did a grave mistake of Accepting my Son to come back and live with me.
On February 2016, he went on long journey from Airline terminal to Airline terminal. he slept in Chicago terminal for 10 days. he used up all his saving and tricked me on spending more money to get back to my home but he kept diverted the flight to another cities until he finally ended up in Northern California where my brother is.
he was homeless for 10 days then started calling me to ask me to put him in a Marriott hotel to take a shower. I refused to spend $ on Marriot and told him to go for Motel 6 but he kept on calling me like 20 times insisted on staying in Marriot.
Finally called the cops in California where he was and they took him to emergency clinic( gave me a Zyprexa shot) then to a hospital for 7 days and later ended up staying with friends family to 12 days but things did not go well with Friends family. Later, my brother later took him to Stanford Hospital and he was there for over 2 months and half. he was verbally abusive on the phone with me then he get better in the last 5 weeks before he left Stanford Hospital.
they gave him Paliperidone and Lithium
later he moved to the Rehabilitation in Santa Cruz and he was appointed a Temporary Conservator. He was calling me constantly trying to convince me to get him out from the Rehabilitation & promised that he would be complaint on medicine and respectful to me in My home.
I fall into the trap and flew to California and get him. He was well behaved the 2 weeks then he started not taking his meds. he refused to take his meds and things get worse until we had a fight and I called the cops then he escaped 10 days ago and he is now in Arizona.
when he called me last, he told me that he does not want to live with me and does not like the State I live in and he is afraid that I would put him in Hospital and also does not want to take medicine because he thinks they are causing headache.
He had told a friend from Rehab that he want to live in California with him but he has no Money anymore…
He took the Sim card from his cell phone because he thinks cops are tapping his cell phone.
I have not heard from him for 2 days and worried about him. I have no way to Call him. the last time he called me is from someone else phone.
I am very worried about him since he is homeless and with little Money.
Not sure what should I do at this point
I feel a deep sadness in my heart Daily. I keep praying about it.
Any suggestions would help.
Thanks for Reading my story


#2

I am so sorry you are having to go through this ordeal. How old is your son?


#3

My heart goes out to you.

I hope you hear from your son soon.


#4

I can hear the fear and anguish in your voice and I’m sorry you are going through this. Sometimes all we can do is pray for an answer or opportunity to reconnect with them. Don’t beat up on yourself for not doing enough or doing the wrong thing, it is a hard illness to get your head around. Just when you think you have it figured out, something changes. Decide what you can offer so you aren’t manipulated to do more and try not to judge your loved one because of his behavior. They are sick and they don’t know it. There is a great book by Dr. Armador and you can learn more by typing LEAP into the search. This is a journey but it is difficult at times to remember it is THEIR journey. You probably know him better than anyone else so trust your gut. Our lives get so entangled sometimes because they need us at varying levels at varying times. I wish you peace and understanding for you and your son. Things can improve and don’t give up hope.


#5

he just turned 24 years last July.


#6

Mom2, than for your sweet reply and support. it is definitely a long and difficult journey. I am praying about it and trusting God in this. I had surrender and told my Lord that he is in charge since I cannot do anything about it.

my Son just called 2 days ago and keep telling me he is in Arizona. But I learned that he is in San Francisco from someone. before he left he mentioned that he wanted to see a physic person in San Francisco so she can predict if he will be OK in future. he contacted her and left her messages but she was on Vacation then he showed unannounced inside her locked office building. I get her information from a link he had bookmarked on my laptop before he left 12 days ago.
I sent an email to the Physic person and told her about his condition. She refused to provide a service to him.
as you see, the illness is making him irrational: spending $ he does not have and putting himself in danger so he can meet a physic lady face to face.

All I want now that for him to be Safe.


#7

he just called yesterday. Thanks God.


#8

he just called yesterday.
I still have hope he will come back.
Just want him to be safe for now.


#9

Do you think he could get help in SF? If you found out the city where he was you could research and see what is available and send him the info. At least he isn’t going to freeze to death on the streets. He seems to be gravitating to CA for some reason. Perhaps help him from afar and build your relationship. Sometimes I wonder if they would listen to other people more than Mom or it just be my son.


#10

I wish I know where he is now so I can call 911 to take him to Hospital. Not sure if Police will take unless he is a danger to himself or others. I am just hoping to get a call form him daily and wish I can convince him to come back. I have a home in California that is rented and I have been thinking in 6 to 7 years after retiring, I can move there and sell my home in Arkansas but this is a long time from now.

My brother lives is Walnut Creek about one hour from San Francisco but my Son does not along with him.
it is hard for my son to get along with family members when he is not on Medicine.

I am praying about he situation and asking God to keep him safe.


#11

what about you. what member of your family is struggling with this illness?


#12

I have a son who is 22 and was diagnosed at 19. He doesn’t like taking his meds but he lives with us and we make him. His delusions are all around drugs so it is pretty embarrassing. He is an Eagle Scout and was heading to college on a great scholarship but couldn’t handle the stress. He talks about drugs 24/7 and was going to be a chemist. Part is delusion and grandiose thoughts and I believe he’d rather someone think he was high instead of Sz. The stigma of MI is so great. He doesn’t leave the house nor has friends so he doesn’t get the opportunity. Still he is my son and I will always love him. It is a very challenging life.


#13

you have a better situation that I do. your son is taking he medicine and he is safe at your home.
I understand the Stigma and when my son lives with me, he communicate only with couple one friend he knows from College in Virginia and the other friends stop talking to him since they know he has been in Hospital several times.

you do not believe the anxiety and the fear I have been experiencing in my heart in the past 12 days since he left. Sometimes, I feel that someone may harm him and I keep thinking about what will happen to me if he dies. this is extremely hard.
He called me yesterday from Someone phone and was asking about money. I told him that I would pay for his Train ticket to come back home but he kept saying that this is not his home. I could not talked to him for long since he was using someone else phone and he had to give back to the person.
Now, I am worried how he is eating and probably sleeping on streets. my heart is broken for him.
Not sure how he will get of this misery since I do not know where he is and he is not accepting to come back home.
it seems that we need a miracle to pull him out of his misery.

I think you son will do better with time since he is complaint on his medicine.
May be he will continue his university studies…
I will keep your son in my thoughts and my prayer.

Please pray for us.


#14

Now, my son is sending me emails to have me put Money for food in his Account from my Bank of America account but he would no tell me where he is at.

He over drafted his account by $300.00 last weeks.

I emailed him back to ask him where he is so I can get him a Train ticket to come back home but he keeps saying that I am not his Mother and my home is not his home and does not tell me where he is at.

I suggested to him to go to Homeless Shelter but he replied that he will never go to Homeless shelter.

if you are in my place what would you do? Would you keep giving him money ?


#15

Thank you for the prayers for my son. My heart goes out to you as you fear the worse. Our son is currently safe for now but every day is different and we are drained trying to protect him from himself. We read in a journal early on that psychosis causes brain damage and we should get him medicine by hook or crook. Our son will say he’ll take medicine to get out of the hospital but has little insight. He is also dual diagnosis causing us to fear him being out on the streets because we pretty much know the outcome or think we do. He was taking medicine but last night refused the supplements that we were gaining him and today we saw a terrible episode. I’m sure if we had a neighbor nearby, they would have called the police. We live on a farm and that is the only way it works if you can call it that. I would tell your son you need to know where he is to get him in touch with resources that can help or get him some food. The fact he continues to call is a good thing. If sounds like he is psychotic when he aye you’re not his mother. I hear that anytime I don’t agree with my son. He went to church with me today only to manipulate I take him somewhere afterward. I can only hope some of the message might have reached him. He had a horrible outburst afterward at home but No one got hurt.


#16

So sorry about your son. I was on the same boat 3 mos ago, and my son also suffered tremendously and will wander on the streets. He had 4 hospitalizations in July this year and each time the hospitals sends him home. However, his last hospital I insisted they help me look for RESIDENTIAL REHAB. We have private Insurance that helped cover but if you don’t , try calling TELECARE Mental .
They can help you link to tremendous resources!
My son is still currently @ SOVEREIGN HEALTH and they have multiple facilities in CALI. They are not the best but they help provide him structure, free housing and most of all he is safe there and have peers that have mental issues just like him.
There are several county resources as well. Look up County Mental Health Dept.
Good luck! There is hope for you and your Son :grinning:


#17

glad no one get hurt and good that he is living with you. it is a challenge but at least you know where he is.
not sure what will happens with my son.
I am just hoping for him to stay alive.


#18

I am thinking to move back to CALI next year. My son was in Standford Hospital for 2 and 1/2 months then moved to Rehab for 5 weeks. I made a big mistake of accepting him back with him in Arkansas. I have a Job here and standard of living is cheaper than California.

I know treatment is only option for him to get better. He keeps telling one of his friends that he want to live in a car in California and be Homeless. he will never admit he is sick and, otherwise he would be now on the road to recovery…

I am just hoping that he will stay safe and I will be able to get him back home for now.


#19

Hi again! That was my biggest struggle as well convincing him that he needs help. It’s really hard being in their shoes,they have lots to deal with the transition to adulthood and then having to deal with this terrible mental illness.
It really affected the whole family, and we’re still working on getting our life back! Don’t forget to help yourself too as you are his anchor!
My son has been misdiagnosed and in the process was not rx’d antipsychotics until after a year of long suffering.
But I’m thankful now that we’re getting more educated what to do and what available resources are out there. It’s helping me advocate for the right care for him and I’m starting to believe that RECOVERY is possible and he can start dreaming again!
I wish you and your family luck. There is hope! Continue to search for Mental health resources. If you read on TELECARE Mental health programs,although not available in Arkansas, just call them and ask for advise and if they can help link you nationally, to similar programs. Explain your situation.
Good luck!


#20

Today I tried to read the report on medicine versus psychosis and brain damage. He wouldn’t hear it. He heard the headline only. His shot has worn off and we can’t get him to take his medicine orally so we’re pretty much one step backward again