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My son just left Home after 5 months of Hospital and Rehabiliation


#101

He is only in his third month of Invega…so not very long.


#102

Ok good. then his headaches are gone?


#103

Hi Caar2016, Thanks for asking. He said his headache disappeared the moment he entered the ER. They checked him out and he told them he believed his headache was from drinking an excessive amount of Coke the day before. They found him to be dehydrated and put him on an IV while they waited for his labs to come back. Everything was okay except the dehydration.

Dehydration can cause headaches, odd that it disappeared upon his arrival in the ER. He was still seeing his Pdoc at that time, I don’t know if he offered an opinion one way or the other. Our communications only went one way.

As to your other question, my son suffers constantly from psychosis. Auditory hallucinations and delusions of persecution are his way of life. The sight of people, loud noises or voices trigger extreme psychosis.

Functional, no, not really, unless wandering around muttering or hiding in his apartment muttering is functional… The wandering around muttering days are the good days. He has worked with a therapist to get where he can grocery shop for himself. He goes late at night when the stores are empty. I used to grocery shop for him until his delusions became concerned I was trying to medicate him through his groceries. That he has worked with a therapist since November is rather amazing in itself. He buy sandwich stuff and, if he’s having a really good week he buys eggs to scramble. We built his kitchen without an oven on purpose. He starts fires in ovens - they are a real weak spot for him. He washes his own clothes and bathes often enough to not cause health concerns.


#104

seems like he is managing somehow. well, if the finances are not an issue, then he is OK to live this way, especially if he has enough family support and family to to look after him for many years in future.

In terms of my son, he is the only son I have, no sibling and I worry what will happens to him if I pass away or if something happens to my brother ( his uncle). His uncle is about 10 years younger than me) .

The issue with my son is very non-complaint and he has been hospitalized like 8 times so far and does not seems to want to take to follow up with the meds due to side effects and it is kind of impossible mission to convince to take it. He claims he is not mentally ill and he is fine and that all we want to do is to control him and all the pdoc and case managers are just there to charge money…

He left to California couple weeks ago because of his severe headache and his shot is now fading away and he is now with a friend and will be coming home at the end of this week and worried about what will happens next. he has been overcharging on his credit cards and I know he is not able to pay.


#105

My son is on ssi and ssdi, he pays to rent the garage apartment.

We finally redid our wills in an attempt to make some sort of effort that our son will be safe. There just aren’t any guarantees of anything in this scz world.

In some ways I wish we had been able to get our son hospitalized. Have you started the guardianship process? Will that help you shut down the credit card?


#106

[quote=“hope, post:105, topic:2696”]
can someone get ssi without taking medicine and seeing a therapist.

I did a trust few years ago and now, I will work on getting the trust modified so I can appoint my brother to care for him in future or may be a good friend.

I am able to get him hospitalized because he keeps on escaping to California and was homeless for few months and I would reporting him as missing. Police found him couple of time and took him to Hospital.
I did pay $1500 in 2015 to my lawyer to do emergency involuntarily commitment and he was hospitalized for 5 weeks. but every time, he get out from hospital, he would stop medicine after 2 to 3 weeks. I am in viral cycle,… seems like no end to it.
he was hospitalized like 8 times and still not complaint on meds.
his headache which I am thinking now are being caused by Physocis are primarily reason for his relapses and also the fact that he hates the side effects of those meds. He just does not want to take meds.

Regarding guardianship; my lawyer told me it is the best to get him committed to hospital in order to get him Guardianship. but I am tired of forcing him into hospitals and this will cost me like $3000.00

my son is now coming back tomorrow home with a friend from California and called me and told me that if I have intention of forcing meds on him, he will stop some place along the way like Utah or Wyoming and live like a homeless person better than taking meds.

not sure what to do! I need to find a way to convince him to take the med without hospital

I had paid for his friend ( older man) to travel with him by greyhound. can you image that how much he is costing me $. I have to work 2 jobs to keep take care of his screw ups and paying for someone to care for him when his is in California so I can prevent him from being homeless.


#107

Hope, as far a credit card. the credit card company started denying his charges and I will let them know by mail that he is mentally ill and I am hoping they may reduce the balance…


#108

You need a psych doctor to to diagnose that he is disabled from his schizophrenia. You can help him fill out the paperwork and add the documentation from all his hospital stays. When you fill out the forms, they contact your doctor for the diagnosis.

SSI is Federal, there aren’t any medication requirements that I am aware of - maybe someone else knows differently? Y

Guardianship is expensive and doesn’t really accomplish as much as you may hope it does. My husband was his mother’s guardian, we ran into hospital personnel who had no idea what it was - one actually told us we needed power of attorney instead of guardianship. They were wrong of course.


#109

Hope, thanks for the info. it helps. will proceed with SSI. I know it takes at least 4 to 5 months for him to start getting paid.
you are right about guardianship, it is expensive and my son can fight me in the court according to my lawyer and I may not be able to get it.

I am working 2 jobs to keep up with all of this.

I am hoping that today will not be stressful. my Son and his friend will be arriving today about 8PM at the greyhound station


#110

@CAAR2016. I sure recognize the desperation and grief in your writing. I’ve lived with grief and desperation so long that it has taken a toll on me where I’ve finally decided to release my daughter from my constant searching, pleading, anxiety and worry. Like you I have gone out of my way to help and advocate for her. It’s exhausting and schizophrenia is so tricky. I’lll feel hopeful for a time and then I see her shutting down or hostile and angry. Her thinking over the years have become so disorganized and she now has a difficult time with her speech and putting a sentence together.

Her psych team has her in a group home now and I am so grateful to them. My daughter is safe and not living on the street but I’ve decided that I want to live a life without the constant gut punching anxiety, worry and grief I’ve lived under for so many years. Finally accepting that letting go is what I need to do has been such a relief. Now I can raise her two small children 5 & 9 without the constant worry of what is happening to her – is she safe or in danger – is she hungry and afraid – bla, bla, bla … The kids need their grandmother to be sane, even, loving and consistent. Those children have given me so much – we laugh so much and I finally feel that I have joy in my life.

As parents the advocacy and journeys we take for our children can overwhelm us. You sound like a wonderful and caring mother as well as a very strong advocate for your son. Keep loving and advocating for him but also recognize your own needs to stay physically and mentally healthy. Peace and joy to you Dear Caar


#111

Molly,
Yes, it is difficult. My son came back with his friend and spent good times for a week then after his friend left, he started talking about his headache and taking greyhound again to California. I pressured him to take his Antipsychotic meds and he get a Steroid med and strong headache med from his primary doctor like Tramadaol but he still suffering from headache.

he just escaped again last Thursday to California by sneaking out of the home at night and took a flight. he is with a the family friend now. he just started calling and asking to come back and taking greyhound again from Arkansas to California. he thinks it will take his headache away.
wow, I am going through constant cycle of Torture…

it seems like I get used to these cycles… I keep pranging and keep hoping for things to turn around for him.

I am proceeding with Guardianship as soon as my son returns from California. he is going to cost me but this will help to get him long term benefits like SSD

Contacted lawyer and he thinks I have a good case and I can get the guardianship. Obviously he is not competent enough to take care of his own affairs.

I wish I can get him to a Group home like your daughter. where do you live?

you are a great mother since you are taking care of your grandchildren. God bless you.


#112

Hope,
Guardianship is the only way I can file for his social security benefits. I am proceeding with Guardianship. I just appointed a lawyer and he thinks I can get it.

he has flew to California twice since April 6. this is too much… opening new credit cards and spending money he does not have.
He is getting hospitalized as soon as he comes back home this time…


#113

Hi @CAAR2016. I live in the Pacific Northwest. I’m not saying it’s easy to find a group home but after advocating for my daughter for many years and knocking on any door I though could help my daughter and also having her live with me for the last year I finally reached a point where I could not longer help her. Helping my daughter was hurting me and I felt like I was falling apart physically and mentally. It was complete desperation and doggedness that my daughter was accepted in a treatment facility. Don’t give up but know your limits.


#114

Do you have to get guardianship because he doesn’t want to apply?


#115

hope,
he did apply for general assistance in California with his friend’s help but he keeps bouncing back and forth between my home State Arkansas and California because of his headache.
I feel that I have to pay his friend in California about $900 a month to take care of his food and board. he is applying for credit cards and spending money he does not have so he can take flights to California.
he is becoming delusional now, he thinks airplanes are talking to him and there is a electronic chip in his brain.
just learned that he did something not acceptable in public last year in October 2016 after he was discharged from one Hospital in California. he was sent a notice from California court to appear.

I have to take more control and get him hospitalized and get the guardianship so I can force the meds and get him the help the medical and financial help he needs.

he keeps on saying that he feels his brain is compressed and made an appointment to see a head doctor here in my home city but he left to California before his doctor appointment.
Now, he is saying that head doctors are better in California and he should see one there…but he wants to fly back to my home first for few days and take the greyhound back to California to see if his headache will go away…
As you see, he is making poor decision. he is attributed the cause of his headache to a location and a person and also he thinks my roommate is causing his stomachache.
he keeps on calling me and pestering me constantly and wants to argue on the phone that he is not mentally sick. he calls me at least a dozen times during the day. I have to hung up the phone many times because he would not stop!!

I am working 2 jobs and still behind on bills…

this is draining me emotionally and financially.

I do not have a choice in here. My lawyer is working to get emergency guardianship/court order to hospitalized as soon as he gets back to my home in Arkansas.

I know he will be very upset at me but it will be for his own good.


#116

The issue that he applied for social security disability in my home city but he keeps leaving as soon as I ask him to take meds.
he keeps on missing his appointments with social security because since he is bouncing back and forth between my home city and California.


#117

Molly,
I know. I wish I can find him a group home here in home city. he is draining me emotionally and financially.


#118

I know many here think guardianship is great but we have it and we still cannot force meds. It allows us to talk to doctors and find out about programs that he won’t participate in. I’m so frustrated right now. My husband is physically sick this week and we are seeing first hand we have to hire care. I’ve asked at hospitals, mental health centers, and friend that are nurses. Where do you find caregivers for respite caregivers? I hope this makes sense.


#119

Eventually won’t his credit rating get so bad so he won’t have access to credit cards to be able to fly back and forth?


#120

Regarding Social Security benefits, you can still work with them on his behalf if he will give permission, even without guardianship. If he wants to get the disability, he should be willing to sign the form allowing you to communicate with them on his behalf.