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My son just left Home after 5 months of Hospital and Rehabiliation


#121

If your son is on Medicaid, there are some services that accept Medicaid and provide support services. My problem is always getting my son to accept support from anyone other than me.


#122

Hope, I know. But how he will get better without meds?


#123

Are you saying that Guardianship will not help in my case. He may get into trouble again and again
Should I force him to be in hospital to get stable?


#124

Vallpen, the issue he keeps on moving around between my home stats and California. How can he follow up with social security disabilities if he cannot stay in one location. I also do not want him homeless.


#125

CAAR2016

Your question made me put my forehead in my hand. My head just hurts when I think about how hard so many of us work to get them on meds. I can’t get mine on meds. I understand its not his fault that he won’t take meds, but its a problem that won’t go away.


#126

Yes. If my son or yoir son can function on their own for long time and you can trust their udgment the you can leave him with social security benefits and a good life insurance policy. But the issue is poor judgment. Leaving a trust fund with a relative you can trust would work in the long term.


#127

I cannot say and I guess I didn’t mean to dissuade you. Guardianship does give you the right to speak to doctors but it is not fail proof. I was told by an attorney that you cannot force someone to take their medication.


#128

I don’t think they can even force medication in the hospital without a special order from the court.

You hear all the time about people on involuntary holds that refuse meds. Of course, there’s nothing to prevent the court from renewing involuntary holds until you they get better, with or without meds.

I guess most people finally give in & take them just so they can eventually get out.


#129

We paid to set up the right kind of trust so there wouldn’t be a complication with his benefits. Now at least I can relax somewhat about dying before him. I can’t fix everything, but I set up the best plan I could figure out.


#130

@Mom2. Exactly. Guardians can’t make their children take medicine. For several years I was my daughter’s legal guardian and I was able to talk to her doctors and caseworkers and I found that useful.


#131

I’m so sorry @CAAR2016 of what you’re going through - it’s draining, exhausting and expensive. My daughter has been calling me and leaving me nasty messages but yesterday she left a message that her doctor is changing her meds. I’m not answering when she calls. I need her to grow up a lot more before I can have a relationship with her. I’m so done with her now. I will no longer allow her to break the peace, balance and stability of me and the two grandkids I’m raising.


#132

Hi @CAAR2016, It’s good to hear from you.

As far as guardianship goes, each state is different in what a guardian can and cannot do. Where we live, only the court can compel a person to be medicated.

There is “Guardianship Board” here. It’s made up of a bunch of guardians and lawyers. They oversee the guardianship programs. It is free to contact them and ask questions. They are connected to the county court system in our district and they have been really helpful to me.

I thought guardianship would help with medication. In the state where we live, it does not. But there are some things guardianship does do that are useful. So, maybe there is something like the Guardianship Board where you live. I found it on our County Court website.

Best to you and your son.


#133

hereandhere,
I know you cannot enforce meds with Guardianship in my state but at least I will be able to get him committed when he messing up and also talk to doctors, nurse, etc…
and possibly follow up with his social security benefits.

Right now, with POA, I am able to talk to case manager and nurse and his PDOC.


#134

Molly,
The issue that with these my Jon required meds, doctors will try different combinations until they get to the right meds and right dose for your daughter. it is not really her fault that she is ill. She is frustrated and will call you because she cares about you and she knows you can accept her the way she is.
it is an ugly illness and I hope your daughter is improving a little.
As far as My son, I want to commit him into a Hospital as soon as he comes back home. he is not willing to take meds and getting irrational. I am feeling bad about it! but do I have a choice!
Yesterday, he called me from CA and he said if you apologize about putting me in Big Spring Texas Hospital, I will wish you happy Mother’s day. He broke my heart…


#135

you are right. my son takes med when his in Hospital and as soon as he gets out, he will stop after court order expires…
we are going into repetitive cycle of hospitalization then stopping then going back when he situation get worse.

What do you mean without meds. I thought they cannot improve without meds?


#136

Hope,
good that you setup the trust.
But how is your son doing: is he depressed. does it get delusional? or suicidal?
I guess if none of the above, then he can get by in life somehow.
if my son can stay in one location and stop taking trips because of his irrational thinking, I probably would not force meds on him.
The issue is now, he thinks that his headache will go away by taking a 3 days greyhound trip. I cannot let this happens, last time he took a greyhound trip, he ended up in Jail after assaulting a female then when I went to get him from Jail after driving 9 hours, he would hit me with his backpack because I drove with a male friend… thinking that I have a relationship with my male friend…


#137

My son recovered from his first two psychotic breaks without medication, so it can happen.

I was speaking in general terms though - I’m afraid both my son & yours are past the point where that can happen.


#138

I’m sorry and yes that would hurt me too for a minute. That sounds a bit manipulative don’t you think? I’ve started trying a different approach. When my son is at our house and he isn’t communicating kindly and is loud when someone is still asleep, I say you know it might be best for you to go on up to your place until everybody gets up and you want to talk. And I may have to repeat this a few times but eventually my son turns around and goes out that door and he comes back again. I’m gonna start using this approach when I am mentally and physically not able to talk to him kindly.

He did come back later and we made cookies together so I’m not a total b. It is so hard to draw boundaries but these folks need it badly. they also need to be shown how to treat people with respect and to be treated with respect. It worked today, perhaps it will tomorrow also.

I forgot to mention that only works if there is not coffee in the coffee pot.:blush:


#139

Mom2.
this is good advise. i will try it and see if it works for me.


#140

@CAAR2016. I complete agree with what you’re saying. It’s not her fault she’s ill and that has been what I’ve held onto for years. However at the risk of sounding cruel and selfish I cannot deal with my daughter any longer. I feel I have a right to a life without constant anxiety and my grandchildren deserve to have a home without drama every minute of the day. Mental illness or not I will no longer take her abuse and I don’t feel guilty one bit. I know I made the right decision for me. I’ve sacrificed a good part of my life for my daughter out of love but no more.