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My son just left Home after 5 months of Hospital and Rehabiliation


#161

slw,
I know I should not negotiate but in the past, I did negotiated with him so I can get him back home.

my son does not believe in the psychiatrist doctors and he thinks all of them are lairs and that all of them diagnose people the same way like schizoeffective do they can charge money.

He manage to hide his symptoms from pdoc. but he said that he wants to see a Neurologist and he thinks he needs brain surgery for his headache ( he called it compressed nerve). he has no insight.
he told me last Saturday that he so special and that airplanes are communicating with him and there is a chip in his ear…

I told the ER pdoc all of that and they still did not hospitalized him since he agreed to take meds. he takes meds in the Hospital and when he gets home he does not want to.

I feel that enforcing him on the meds at home is just impossible task and he should be in an assisted group home for a while.


#162

CAAR2016,

You are being so strong, I am in awe of your strength. You must feel exhausted.

It does feel as though its killing their spirit, it takes such strength to make a decision like this and see it through. So very glad you were granted the guardianship, what a relief, I hope the guardianship enables you to do what you would like to do for your son.

We mom and dads love them so much and the pain is so deep.

Wishing you more patience and keeping you in prayer constantly, Hope


#163

I know we all do what we have to do in the moment, so I am with you on doing whatever you can to get him home & in treatment.

I was just kind of saying in general, it’s best to not do it & how I put the responsibility on the doctor as much as I can.


#164

Thanks Hope. I wish the same to you and your Son.


#165

he will getting at Noon today to where my brother is in CA.
I am struggling with the decision to let him stay close to my brother in CA until end of June since he has to appear in Court over there because of an appropriate behavior( Violation) he got from last year when he was homeless.

I know the judge over there in CA will have to request him to go into treatment in order to dismiss his violation.
and I know it is going to cost me $ for him to stay there for one month and 1/2 in California.

I am tired of him bouncing back and forth between my home state and California.

Just puzzled what is the best decision in here!!


#166

Just thinking out loud.
Is it really cruel to do a court order of involuntarily commitment to commit my Son to State mental hospital?
he told me why don’t you end my life before you commit me to mental hospital. he hates being in Hospital and also hates to take his meds at home.
he thinks he med will make loose his physical strength and create brown spots all over his skin and impact his sexual drive.

I know he is not doing well and he is delusional.
he has been on and off meds constantly. I have been threatening him to admit him in mental hospital, he takes the meds for few days then get him into ER and back home. when he is in ER, he takes his meds and as soon as he gets home he takes it for few days then wants to stop.

One ER doctor tolds me he is not symptomatic and would not commit him to hospital against his will.
Another ER doctor said that he is not symptomatic but told my son he needs to be on meds otherwise he will get admitted to Psychiatric Hospital.

I feel that forcing the medicine on him is hopeless and I am just considering leaving him alone as he ask me to do.

this has exhausting and costly to me.


#167

Was the ER doctor a psychiatrist?

And, do you have a hospital there that is psychiatric only?
I’m just thinking you might have better luck somewhere else.

I don’t think it’s cruel at all.
I think I’d rather have a son who hates me or is mad at me who is alive and well, than one who loves me & is sick or maybe even dead.

You make hard decisions as a parent. Think of it like how it was when he was little.
Back then, you made him do lots of things he didn’t want to - and you also prevented him from doing things that would have harmed him.


#168

yes, the ER doctor is psychiatrist. it is a Baptist health Hospital
what really amazed me that I requested to get him admitted to Psychiatric unit and told him how delusional he is and showed them the guardianship but doctor decided not to admit him.

I think because my son rejected to be admitted and also denied the delusions he shared with me and somehow he convinced the doctor that my roommate is mean to him but none of this is true.

the ER doctor concluded that my son is being mistreated by my roommate and since he took the meds then he is not a danger to himself or others and why then he should admitted.
then what about all the his history of non-compliance!

I think you are right. I feel very guilty when he cries in front of me and say I would rather be dead than be in mental hospital. I know he is manipulative !

Seems my only option to get him a Court order for involuntarily treatment.


#169

yes, the State hospital is psychiatrist Hospital
and there is another one about 25 minutes away which is also specific only for psychiatrist care.

The issue when I call the police in case of crisis, they want to take my son to the closest hospital and both near by Hospitals are mainly for medical care but they do have psychiatrist Unit also.


#170

Update on my Son:
My Son has been in California since June/2017 and he has been in and out of Hospitals several times.
he appeared in the court for a his probation violation last Wednesday and was released after 3 days of jail time and he has not contacted anyone from Family and friends.

I sent a letter to the Mental Health Judge explaining his situation. I contacted Public defender office and I has contacted a politician office.

Trying to Locate him. I just want to know that he is alive and OK.

Going through high Anxiety during this Holiday season.

I will be contacting the police Today to report him missing.

this is the 3rd year that I am into this cycle of locating him. I have not been able to enjoy the holidays for the last 3 years.

Please keep us in your prayers.


#171

You are in our prayers; I hope you find out soon that your son is safe.


#172

Thanks so much Hereandhere.

I am missing my son during Xmas Season.
have not seen him for 5 months… The last time I spoke to him on the phone was November 26 and he asked for more money. the family friend gave him extra money since he was going to Court to another city by Bart and Buses

I just did a new missing person police report and police was questioning me so much, I felt that he almost refused to file a report.
He kept on saying that if your son can travel from Midwest to California then how can he be gravely disabled and if doctors are not recommended him to be conserve then he is probably capable of taking care of himself and if the judge is allowing him to be released then he must be OK.
they said it his choice to be homeless and not being in touch with family and friends.

I had to tell at least 3 times he has no phone, no credit card and not debit card and he was suicidal over a month ago and he has mental disorder and I can faxed them a copy of the Guardianship I have here in my state.
After almost 20 minutes of discussing with police, get a missing person police report filed.


#173

So sorry to hear you son is missing Caar2016. You really had to persist to get that missing person report filed. The police are always telling us how much they have to deal with the mentally ill - yet that police officer is totally clueless.

I get frustrated any time someone implies our mentally ill family members aren’t mentally ill because they can do something. History has a lot of people who had scz and accomplished a good deal, doesn’t mean their life wasn’t disabled by their illness. If someone who is unable to walk uses a wheelchair, no one suggests they no longer have a disability.


#174

Hope, you are right. I get the missing police report filed now and I am waiting.

I just sent fliers to a friend who will be posting them close to where he was located on December 3.
this is a very difficult time for me.

I am now thinking of taking a flight to California in few days if I do not hear anything
and try to find him. it will help reduce my Anxiety.

Keep us in your prayers.


#175

My son is now homeless on the streets of California like one hour away from my brother and family friend.
The police who located him explained to me that their hands are tried unless there is a court order. it is not possible to get a court order from my State in Arkansas for someone in California. I have a guardianship on my state that is not helping me in Another state.

The police will try to get him into an outreach program for housing, food voucher, etc…
My son told the police that he does not want to contact anyone from family and family friends circle.
What is really blowing my mind that he is comfortable for begging for money from people on streets but refusing to contact the family friend who has been providing him with free money in the past 5 months…


#176

I am so relieved that they found your son. Hate him being homeless on the streets. So many of our family members find comfort living on the streets. Why this is so, I do not know. So glad the police are going to try to set him up with outreach - I think it helps when they know our loved ones have people at home that care.

Do you think yours is getting sicker? I know my son’s scz is advancing. So sorry CAAR2016, glad yours is found, but so sorry he won’t come home or contact the family friend.


#177

Hope,
What do you mean by your son’s scz is advancing. do you mean he is getting better?

yes, I think my son is getting sicker. Since it is not compliant on Meds and he is in and out of hospitals, he is always experiencing withdrawal symptoms.
he is sick, otherwise he would want to contact someone from Family or a family friend.
he said something that he does not want to come back to my home because I have a guardianship on him.

Actually, my son is in Custody now, he did an outburst in Public and has a court on 12/26, the day after Xmas. I am thinking I may have to appear in California for my Son court case and request sympathy from the judge to get him into long term treatment.
it is not going to be an easy trip! and I am not prepared for it.

I emailed FormAB 1424 ( from NAMI Santa Clara) that include all the episodes/crisis that my Son has been through since 2015 to the Public defender office and I am hoping they recommended a course of action to help him in getting a court order for his treatment.

I am scared of any outcome and my heart sometimes is beating little faster… Not sure what to expect anymore! I still have hope that he may get better in future but things have been difficult for me and for him.

Keep us in your prayers.


#178

I’m sorry you are dealing with this at what should be a joyful time of the year. It’s been bad around here for a few weeks and he has an appointment with doctor tomorrow. My son was hospitalized involuntarily again today. It could have been a lot worse but it was bad enough. I am glad he and we are safe but so very sad also. I’m going to follow the advice I give out and breathe. It’s out of my hands right now.


#179

Mom2,
yes, I think prayers will help tremendously in my situation and yours.
Happy Holidays and keep the hoping for better tomorrow…


#180

Hi Caar2016, By advancing, I mean my son’s scz is getting worse. It sounds like your son’s psychosis is like my son’s, constant psychosis with cycles of severe episodes.

Glad that NAMI Santa Clara is assisting, I wish all NAMIs were as helpful as they sound. Will join you in praying for a course of action from the court that helps get yours into treatment.

That is a really tricky time to travel to California - will you be able to stay with family or friends?

Our holiday seasons just aren’t the same as other peoples since scz entered our lives. Seems like an understatement at this point.

Prayers for you and your son, prayers for all of us.