I hope your living situation gets sorted. I agree with you that you and your son would have a more stable living situation without him.
I wish the state we live would give the option of pressing charges but be careful how you proceed. Because my husband and I created a scenario where we pushed our sons emotional buttons to get a reaction so the threshold was met to be a danger to himself and others but in WI we didnāt have a say of whether charges would be filed-as WI has a domestic violence law where the charges can be filed by the CTY DAās office which is now what is happening to my son. We convinced the police dept to not pursue the criminal charges of domestic violence but the DA in our CTY is pursuing them as of this week. Itās such a nightmare at the moment getting my son thru these criminal charges. In retrospect I wish my husband and I would have gone through the civil commitment process. So please donāt lie or create a situation until you understand your stateās laws for involuntary commitment (e.g. Chapter 51). Good luck and take care.
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Our state also decides whether or not to press charges, so if family member actually committed a crime, there would never be any need for any individual to press charges. Charges would make the illness worse as jail and legal situations are extremely stressful. I have a lifelong policy of not lying to or about my family member and I have kept it. Also I have been asked by police whether I wanted to press charges for property damage and of course said absolutely not. Any person suffering from a severe episode of psychosis in the US is ten times more likely to go to jail than to receive necessary medical treatment.
I hope that your son can have a psychological evaluation as part of the court processes. Is mental health court a possibility?
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Heās in a ā51ā mental health commitment for 90 days which is due to expire in late March This may be an effort by the CTY to plea bargain the criminal side charges so this commitment can be extended. We didnāt have any choice nor were asked by the police handling the criminal side ācaseā if we wanted the property damage - they just wrote up the report as part of criminal side of the incident. We were told multiple times by hospital and police staff that if thereās a mental health commitment that the criminal charges usually get dropped - which is not the case. I just donāt want my son to suffer the results of my ignorance of the laws now that the DA is pursuing the criminal case. I feel torn up about it now as this is the worst thing that could happen to my son who never did drugs or excessively drink and is nonviolent but very MI. 
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Same scenario as we have experienced but in Australia. The first visit from the crisis team our son was able to hide his symptoms, just as you would if you are paranoid. I would have thought the assessor would have taken the paranoia symptom into account but I was very disappointed in the level of experience these mental health workers were in their inability to identify our concerns expressed. But I continued to call the crisis centre every day and night, sometimes would call a few times throughout the day or night every time there was a behaviour or concern to express. This was a way to push the urgency of the crisis situation. As well I demanded for an experienced psych clinician to come back to assess him again. When the experienced clinician arrive to assess, it took the clinician less than a minute to identify that our son needed to be hospitalised. I prey you have the strength in this journey, it is so tuff when there is not adequate help and a lot of times difficult to get successful recovery in place. But I am told to not give up the hope and that it can take a long time for significant improved life.
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Try not to beat yourself up. I have had to call for help multiple times, and always request trained officers, but donāt always get them. On one occasion, I made the error of saying my son had hit me. I did have a slight mark on my cheek. The officers said they were required to charge him and take him to jail. I begged for them to reconsider but they said it was out of their hands. I told them I had called to get assistance taking him to the hospital, but what I said didnāt matter.
He was released from the jail the next morning and I took him to the hospital. The charges were not dropped, but did get transferred to mental health court.
My son had done worse on previous incidents, but I guess I just worded things wrong or got the wrong people that night.
From that I learned to not mention any physical interaction when calling for help, and making it clear that this is a mental health crisis, for which I need assistance.
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Is his mental health commitment in a hospital? I hope so because then he might receive treatment.
None of us know what to doā¦ Our family member is also in a difficult situation right now. Itās so hard.
Hi Misty, Iām so sorry you are going through this-I believe we all in this forum have experienced much of what you and your son are going through at one time or other (or more often unfortunately). Initially I was one not to argue whatever the emergency room doctor told me regardless of what I knew - its not in my nature to speak out. I had to be strong/forceful and unrelenting-after all we want to get the help our family member needs so desperately. This is what has worked for me in the past and Iāve gotten this advice from others in the forum:
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One emergency room doctor told me that I needed to be more insistent and stay insistent about what my husband would do if he was released because he couldnāt do anything unless I āforcedā his hand. I had to say I felt my husband was a danger to himself and to me. Over and over-repeat, repeat. The professionals actually do want to help, but they need to hear certain things from him and/or from you before they can act. That he is a danger to himself and others.
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This was the best thing that worked for me: But you have to be firm about this. I could do it because I had nothing else left to be able to live with the situation. Tell them you do not feel safe in your home and he has no where else to go. Telling them that I will not let my husband come home until he is stabilized on medication and he has no where else to go got him the help he needed. They know heās sick-really they can tell, but hospitals are watching their costs and they need to hear certain words/phrases before they can act.
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And follow up with that like youāve done in the past, that he always says heās ok when heās with the doctors. Heās not. Be firm-be insistent-be a pain.
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If you have to call 911 because your son wonāt go to the hospital-ask for responders that are trained to handle the mentally ill. Tell 911 it is a mental health crisis. The 1st time I called I got police who were untrained and they arrested him because he resisted going with them. The 2nd time I asked for trained responders-he resisted again, but they called EMS and was given a sedative and then he was taken to a hospital with a staff experienced with the mentally ill and was admitted. Big difference.
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Call your police dept and ask what their procedure is if you call them to respond to a family member who is delusional. That will give you some indication as to what you can expect and what you need to tell them when you call.
You are doing most of this already from what I read. And just because it didnāt work the first time doesnāt mean it wonāt work in the future. Depends on who you are talking to at the time. Stay strong, its a long hard road you are on, but weāre all here for you.
As for Sarcosine, my husband did well with Sarcosine in that it got him to go out of the house, travel, start seeing family and friends. But he could only take a small amount every day (1/2 scoop) because any more made him agitated. And it did nothing for the voices or the delusions. They say Sarcosine works on negative symptoms so they still need medication.
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Heās been st home with us since he was discharged after 3 weeks inpatient. He was kept in the Psych unit and the chapter 51 Psych commitment was put in place before the 72 hr hold expired. The police officer that to my son to the hospital was CIT trained and didnāt handcuff him while he took him to a different hospital that had an open bed. He told us the laws arenāt set up very well but that my husband and I did the right thing. In fact he was the same officer that came to our house 6 months prior when my son was delusional but didnāt meet the threshold of being in danger of himself or others - so this call in Dec we wanted to make sure he would be admitted- which he did but not without a lot of regret in ways. Youāre damned if you do and damned if you donāt ā¦
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Mary, I thank you for the heads up. I canāt believe that happened and I realize how frustrating it must be when youāre only trying to get care for your son. Your story helped educate me but Iām sorry that you are having to go through this pain and frustration. I hope things turn around for you and your family soon!
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Thank you for the support. Iām hoping the intention of this is to get the commitment extended. Unfortunately itās hard to trust the āsystemā now but itās too late at this point to change things but will pray things turn out for the best. Itās such a difficult road as parents of a SZ child but this website has been a godsend to me being new to all of this. Take care to you and your son.
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Mary, do you think if you wrote a letter to the DA telling your view and feelings. I donāt know but is there a chance the DA might think he is doing you a favor by keeping your son away from you? I know there are other families out there who have given up on their loved ones and I think the system sort of comes in and surrounds the ill person to protect the citizenry. I apologize if I am offending you in any way but our PDoc told us early on that āyes, you may one day have to take out a Protective order on your own sonā. This told me what to expect with the progression of this illness. I still didnāt believe it though until years later when I saw firsthand.
Since our son has been home he has threatened us verbally and we have come very close to putting him out of our home. He refused his antipsychotic medicine and we are running out of options. Iāll see that he gets to the doctor on Monday and therapist on Tuesday but cannot guarantee that heāll go in. It is extremely frustrating and I think Iām slipping into depression myself now. My husband left the house in the middle of the night just to get some sleep. He has just started medication for depression. I know we all need to take care of ourselves but I couldnāt make my early morning walk because of being woke up on the hour with heckling laughter and crazy outbursts. I think Iāve gotten numb to it. It is my new normal.
There is no way this man should have been discharged but I guess they needed the bed and I wonder if all of our state hospitals are going to only care for those who know they are sick. This is a dangerous trend for those whose children or loved ones have anogsonthes AND Mental illness.
Am I being practical or negative? Any suggestions and insight would be appreciated.
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Dear Mary, since your son is at home (am I reading that right?) now and presumably doing better under the commitment, could you ask (I donāt know who you would ask) to have the commitment extended as part of probation?
You are not being too forward in your suggestions. My husband wrote a statement of clarification a couple of days after the police came and we sent it to the crisis rep at the CTY who said she would forward to the DAās office- which resulted in the āsettlement agreementā for a 90 day commitment. Now that heās seen the CTY doctor and has a case worker assigned to my son it seems they may be trying for a 6 month commitment but not including my husband and I in their plan perhaps? When my son came home after discharge from the hospital and half way house (he was only there three days because he was having panic attacks-long story) he didnāt take his night dose of Seroquel in front of me and then admitted he didnāt take it-so I made him take it the next morning and told the case worker who passed it onto the Pdoc - so I think they are trying for the 6 month commitment which my husband and I are OK with. I just wish they would let us know what their intentions are. I just donāt feel very respected as his parent who has dealt with his prodromal phase and now full blown SZ for 7 years.
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He has a meeting this coming Tuesday with the public defender that met with him at the hospital and set up the settlement agreement My husband and I will be going with him to ask about this option to have the chapter 51 extended - which I mentioned to my son that this may be the CTYS intention Keep your fingers crossed.
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Mary, I hear you. My son went before the judge but they didnāt bother telling me and Iām his guardian. I think my son get in there and says he wants to do this himselfš¬
I am in Canada
I went to court and got a court order. I had to write down the short reasons. Important: either the patient or other people have to be in danger like at risk of suicide or harm to family members like threats or they may feel threatened by you and āfight backā putting you at risk
Then in front of the judge i gave more specific details. It is all done in one day. Donāt miss the dead lines at court. In the evening police came (not to arrest, but to take to the emergency) then it is up to the doctor but the court order makes them take the situation way more seriously
Once submitted, we were hanging out at the unit or near alot meeting everyone. Talked to the doctor, nurses, social worker. Brought them cinnamon muffins cakes etc so that MY CHILD wouldnot be just another case
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So typical! The recording sounds good. Itās even tougher because you donāt have the damn diagnosis yet!! So frustrating!
I Should have mentioned that after the court order my daughter would NOT call me mom or even talk to me. Never mind that, I went to see her every evening and every evening got regected by her. I said to her: " i am sorry that my getting a court order made you feel hurt and I understand. I would have felt the same way. But i was concerned and worried and i feel i did the right thing "
She did NOT accept my explanations but anyway we are now back on talking terms and working on our relationship. We enjoy walks and lunches. One day at a time
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I have a lot of experience with a mother who is paranoid schizophrenic. She is now 83 and was diagnosed at 42.We have literally been through hell. She hasnāt seen a psychiatrist now in over 10 years. She has fear of all medical profession including dentists and her teeth are all rotting.Now my daughter in her 20s is showing symptoms. It was a lot easier once to get help though the treatment was too severe, with shock treatment and drugs that had debilitating side effects. But at least the medical profession listened and worked with families. Now itās all about whether the individual is managing in life based on general physical health and managing finacially. All individuals have rights and itās ok to be different. And yes itās very annoying how your son can present normal when he needs to fool professionals If heās having an absolutely psychotic event you can call ambulance, but you risk a sudden change in the way he can make anyone believe heās ok. You can end up feeling foolish about how youāre reacting.Then itās how dare you imply Iām not mentally ok! The only thing that makes health professional listen is if you say heās suicidal and hopefully that gets you down the path of him seeing a psychiatrist Who are really the only ones who can decide if there is a problem leading to treatment. Which is meant to be pretty good these days. Only psychiatrists can make the decision through assessment if your son is vulnerable to being exploited through his illness or if he has suicidal tendencies. We presently have an issue with my mother being financially abused by a nephew. We tried to go down the road of VCAT for guardianship of my mother but she fought tooth and claw, telling what ever necessary lies to an investigator who found her charming! And even though we had mental triage come to her home and assess her and the psychiatrist was able to get her talking about her delusional thoughts and determined she was vulnerable to elderly abuse, VCAT said without further assessments which my mother refused and they couldnāt force her they couldnāt grant us guardianship. So was 18 months of complete waste of time for us. All we wanted was to have some authority as to what goes on in her house so she doesnāt suffer elderly abuse We canāt even get near her now as my nephew is so aggressive. And now he knows he can do what he wants because she is delusional about him and thinks heās a saint. But you may be able to ask your GP about getting mental triage to come to your house and make an assessment. Then depending on results you can work with your GP as to what is the next step. Good luck
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