Hi all and thank you all … so the update with my son whom i love more than anything in this world: i gave him an extra 5mg of his meds on Friday (doctor orders) and last night i got home and he packed and surprisingly cleaned the room and went home and txted me ‘’ i had to go home mum , i took a little food and hope you don’t mind , i love you , please make sure my room mates boy friend doesn’t come here and that was that . My husband and i were pretty stressed with him in our home . My worry was that his delusion may have turned on either me or my husband trying to hurt him if he stayed long term with us . THANK GD listened to my prayers and today my son told me ‘‘he worked’’ , i was thrilled . This disease can cause your world to fall to pieces in one hour then in the next hour you can breath and smile again .
Even though i was stressed out i did roll with it and handled it pretty well . i believe it was a blessing in disguise he came home as he did need to up his meds and i wouldn’t have known this if he didn’t come to me , things could have got a lot uglier if you know what i mean .
Im so happy for you.And for your son to have comfort again.
It’s quite the emotional roller coaster. For everyone involved.
Whenever I have had to go to the hospital with my son, I can’t believe how many families are affected the very same.
So great, that you seem to have the same kind of relationship we have here. Open communication helps so much to try to understand.
It is very stressful and i also need to learn boundaries with my son
They change there minds all the time. The advice of waiting is good. Even with insight my daughters social anxiety and voices are still alive and well. She is med compliant but living alone even though some aspects would be good it will wind up like yours. They are doing free studies on meds for positive symptoms.
So true they change their minds all the time , my son is extremely impulsive .
I think I finally am starting to roll with it. Feels better. Thanks.
It is also helpful to remain strong when they are not. If you are falling apart, it will likely only make the situation worse. You do have to let some things roll off because they truly may not make sense when a person is delusional.
It’s great that the med change seems to have worked very well. As Merideth said, waiting it out proved to be the right thing. I hope your son continues to do well in his apartment, Linda. I am concerned about the trouble with understanding the situation your husband has. That must be stressful to you in the back of your mind all the time. It took years for my family members to come to terms but I took active action to make it happen. I hope you can sort out your relationship with your husband.
Thank you ! things are a lot better that my son is back in his apartment but it hurts inside as i feel i can look after him better if my husband wasn’t so stressful . I did have a talk with my husband and he kind of gets it but doesnt fully get it if you know what i mean . Right now my son is stable , i see him a few times a week and we talk and txt every day for his needs . It was my birthday a few days ago and i had breakfast with my son and it was so nice and then he surprised me and booked me a Massage (from groupon lol ) bless him , he saved a little money and wanted me to be happy , he said he loved me almost 20 times that day haha , he is so cute at times . He came to me today only for 15 min to eat something ( His visits are very short ) i still see him smiling to himself . He did tell me he felt run down and drained , im sure from his meds . I hope all ok your end ?
It seems that you are doing the best you can, all of you. It’s so great that your son saw you on your birthday AND got you a groupon for a massage. Wow, that is soooo thoughtful. And your husband is talking about the illness more, it takes awhile to get the seriousness of it for some family members. It took my sons years to accept their sister’s illness.
My daughter is doing very well, our new normal is actually quite acceptable to both of us. Her paranoia is totally gone now and she is my best date for movies, the gym, restaurants, etc. Thank you for asking.
Stable is good , so nice you and your daughter have a good relationship ; )
Yes, we have a great relationship now. I really hope that your lives continue to be better too @Linda.
This illness is sooooo very stressful, for the ill person and everyone close to them. The horrors of psychosis just are NOT understood by anyone who hasn’t experienced it. Even though my daughter was a wonderful child/adult for 32 years, the psychosis that started in March 2016 almost destroyed her, and me, before Haldol produced a miracle in Dec 2018. I was sooooo close to losing my patience totally with her, I felt my love turning to despair, my other family members thought I was nuts to keep supporting her for years, and sometimes I wondered if I should just throw her out to become homeless.
I feel totally lucky now to have her with me, and cherish every day we do something together. I have almost (just almost) forgiven myself for nearly giving up on her. It was so very hard those 2.75 years of active psychosis. But if I had given up on her, she would have been lost, most likely forever. I understand and hope and pray and hope some more for everyone with this awful illness to find some successful relief for themselves and their loved ones.
You are an amazing Mother !! No one can understand this disease more than us , and every day we learn a little more to help our loved ones ,Yes we can all hope and pray for our loved ones and i do every day , and i pray everyones’ love one’ will heal and we can heal with them …
Thank you for your compliment, I really appreciate that.
I went back and looked at this thread again. I extracted something you said earlier and posted it above: It is a true quote. I found that when things do finally calm down, it takes awhile until the fear of another episode goes away. And all the time we try to loved our afflicted person the best we can. Their kind souls are still there under the madness. There is nothing as good as a hug, a smile, a phone call, a text, etc, from our loved ones when they are doing well. I hope your son continues to do well and that your relationship with your husband heals and betters. And that everyone on this site that is under stress currently gets some peace and time to breathe.
Thank you so much , i wish and pray all good for you and everyone on this site will have an a peaceful and stress free ‘‘2020’’ : )
So nice to hear of the positive and peaceful changes some of your families are currently experiencing. It is inspirational and reassuring. So many times when I read your posts I feel I could have written them myself in that so many of our stories are made along the same path of…" Before Diagnosis, Diagnosing, Revisiting, (sometimes) Repeating, and Present Day"
But the love, hope, understanding, monumental patience, strength, faith, nurturing, treasuring, will and calmness are the constant that brings the much needed energy.
Thank you so much for offering so much of your lives to help me strengthen mine while you do the same.
@Linda The best thing my husband and I did when we were at an extremely hard and desperate point in this journey was to attend a NAMI Family to Family class (NAMI provides it at no cost in communities where there are trained volunteers to teach it). My husband was not wild about going but agreed to go and see. After the first week’s session he was hooked and he will tell anyone the same thing…,it was the best learning experience for us and he is so glad we did it. It wasn’t the end all, but it gave us the understanding and tools we needed to move forward in this journey in a healthy and realistic way. We felt cared about and encouraged.
My husband won’t even go to a meeting with me let alone a family course at NAMI , you are very lucky with your husband , i am happy for you as it takes so much stress away that you are together with this . My husband believes that my 22 year old son should face all his demons and problems alone and that i am enabling my son not to grow up , He simply doesn’t get it and does not want to get it . He said he had mental issues when he was younger and dealt with it himself . I will give my life for my son and do all i can to help with this illness but i also do understand i need to practice boundaries with him .
Perhaps we should start a new post about “how to get other family members to understand…”