Been married to a woman for over 20 years. She is schizophrenic and bi polar. She walks out on me every 3-4 years. Files for divorce each time. Normally winds up committed. It is extremely stressful when she goes into one of her phases. She is leaving again and tells me she wants another, better man who can let her spend freely. We were advised by doctors and her family to not have children due to her condition. She is now in menopause and blames me for not having kids. She now wants to find a man and get pregnant. As a result of all this, I have developed severe anxiety and depression. It effects every aspect of my life. Have been a diligent saver to try and make sure that we are at least financially secure. She hates me for it. I have sacrificed the best years of my life to be with here and take care of her. She has cheated with two people that I know of. Her family cuts me off when she does this and will not communicate with me. She says all of this is my fault. I admit I have not handled everything well. I have many regrets. Just asking for you folks to pray for me. I am struggling to go on. Thanks and God Bless.
My prayers are out for you. You have been very supportive for your wife, lots of people cannot handle caring for someone with SZ and walk away. We often have regrets in how we have cared for our loved ones, but we did the best we could in dealing with someone who is so difficult,to put it mildly. Try to do some nice things for yourself and remember this shall pass. 
Thank you very much Irene.
I’m assuming she’s not on meds and not trying to get better. If that’s the case, then you might get a copy of I Am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help! How to Help Someone Accept Treatment and give it one more shot. At the same time, perhaps you could get counseling to help clarify any co-dependency you might have. A book about that is: Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Thanks. No she actually is on her meds now but seems to be going into the same old cycle of leaving home. Appreciate the reading ideas.
I will keep you in my prayers. To me, you are a hero. Of course you weren’t perfect in the past, nor will you be perfect in the future. Your wife has been lucky to have you, even though she may not know it. I do hope you get some care for yourself, you probably have neglected your own care greatly while taking care of her. That’s what most of us caregivers do. You must try to give yourself some good credit and some peace. There is ONLY so much you can do. You have to just let her go on this journey she is choosing and hope she stays safe and comes back. Unfortunately, you cannot control her, you didn’t cause her illness either. But protect yourself, you are fragile right now.
I’m so sorry for this current situation. I wonder if your wife could possibly have Borderline Personality Disorder. Some of the behaviors you describe fit that description. I would first talk to her doctor about the concerning behaviors that you see. If she is taking meds as prescribed, I suggest that the meds aren’t quite where they need to be, although admittedly, meds do not necessarily solve all problems. In any event, it sounds like you have done the best you knew to do to be a caregiver and support her financially. We realize we cannot solve all problems. You must take care of yourself.