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Need to talk. Feel isolated


#21

I isolated from my family for the first couple of years because their reactions pissed me off. Then I drew back from church and before long it was me, myself, and I. Not good. I have one sister who calls me every week and she drew me out. Her daughter has bipolar and she knows what it is like to live with this. I eventually started attending family functions and talking about it. I started back to church and know that I am to use this to help others. We help ourselves at the same time.
I also have a sweet friend at church whose husband suffers from PTSD. We are kindred spirits.


#22

That is my son. You all should adopt. I find that sort of comical right now. I must be getting tired.


#23

To be honest I think they mostly struggle with the death, they simply don’t know how to react in front of me. It’s like I have a nasty illness they could catch up. I stopped counting the number of times that they changed subject if I mention her, anecdotes about her, as if she never existed. They feel so bad that they need to change the subject very very quickly. Don’t worry for misunderstanding my previous message, that is tricky to understand only by written words. I always thought that internet is great, but doesn’t replace real conversation. Thank you for answering me tonight, you and the other people like mom2 and Doctor, I genuinely felt less isolated, it was really helpful. It is late here though, so I need some sleep. Thank you again all of you xx


#24

I am sorry to read about your brother, yes 15 is far too short for a life. I guess that by talking to each other, we feel less isolated, and we know everyone will understand what we go, will go, went through. I am glad I did write tonight because I saw I could share my story without feeling like a freak. Everyone understood me and you can’t imagine how helpful this conversation was for me. I have unfortunately to go to sleep but will come back to the forum. Thanks again all of you. Xx


#25

My heart sincerely goes out to you for your incredible loss…There are no words that can ease that kind of pain…just time, self care (when possible) I almost lost my son to suicide early on in his illness, but he got medical help in time for which I am forever grateful…–my deepest condolences.


#26

@Noisybadger. : I’m so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. It is something most of us with mi children worry about. I know my daughter feels that her life has been so cruel to her - she’s lost so much.

Not sure where you live but here is a link for bereaved parents in the USA. I believe this is the organization that helped a former co-worker about 20 years ago when he lost his two college age daughters when they drove home from college during the Christmas holidays on a dark icy road. http://bereavedparentsusa.org

My heart goes out to you. Perhaps you can share with us who your daughter was and the things she enjoyed. Blessings to you and your family.


#27

I am sorry about your loss and your isolation. Two families from our Family to Family class have already lost their children. Our children with schizophrenia lose their lives and we stand by helplessly and watch as we lose our children.


#28

I think it’s helpful, important, and a tribute to your daughter that you hosted a talk for Schizophrenia Week.

My mother died of suicide during bipolar one mania leading to psychosis almost 30 years ago. No one talked about her, her illness, or her death. The silence is deafening.


#29

I’m so sorry to hear that. How sad that must have made you feel to not be able to talk about her. When my brother died, we didn’t talk about it much either. My Mother went into deep depression and some days his picture would be on the television and some days it would be gone. I just remembered that. It’s so sad to this day but everyone handles grief differently I guess.


#30

I also lost a brother 32 years ago to suicide and although he never received any diagnosis we have guessed recently after knowing more about mental illness due to better information on internet, we think he have suffered bipolar. I know what you mean with silence, in the 80’s and of course worse before that date, mental illness was absolutely tabou, so tabou that tabou is not a strong enough word. My other brother stayed silent, my teachers were embarrassed and never mentioned it, they asked to the class I was in to never mention it, my cousins never mentioned it, uncles, aunts never mentioned it. Even my father was so embarrassed that he forbid me to cry on the day it happened, and asked us to shut up when we mentioned it. I was determined when my daughter died not to shut up, not to hide anything and be as honest as I could towards what happened because I saw the harm shutting up does, and how it never makes things better. I am sorry I only saw your answer now and can answer after so long, but I took a break from the forum. Thank you for your answer x