Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I am new;my husband has schizoaffective just diagnosed


#1

My husband is currently hospitalized. He left the house a month ago due to a psychotic break down he broke our bedroom door, dishwasher, walls. the police was called by the neighbors and when the police got to our house he ran away. I was looking for him, he was ion the run from the police, I never saw him like that before he is not a criminal he is a Carpenter and amazing as his job. I was confused the whole time. I saw him again last week after a month just living in the streets. and I took him to the hospital he almost jump out my car. he know it was me .We been married for two years never saw him like that. I love him. I am just afraid my husband will never be the same. I visited the hospital yesterday I was heart broken , he was soo different , his eyes looked lost, and very delusional and suspicious about everyone. HE became aggressive with the nurse when it was time to go. he asked to allow him to hug me and he became very mad “she is my wife , mine , mine, mine… stop touching her”! I will visit today but I am soo confused and sad. I just want my husband back. Is he ever gonna be the same? I will be his caregiver and nothing else?
I love him, but all this is hard


#2

There’s a good chance of recovery, don’t lose hope just yet. Help him take his meds when he gets home, maybe try a monthly injection if he’s not compliant to taking meds, and be patient with him. After a psychotic break it takes awhile to get back to reality.

Good luck!


#3

Thank you! I am new at this. He was my best friend I been dealing with this since thanksgiving, his decompensation happen really slow. he was not sleeping, pacing, really irritable, he struggled talking like a thought disorder. We both work and had a nice life together, I never saw this coming. My husband has to see a judge on Tuesday… What is this all about?
a social worker called because I am his next to kin. I am just not familiar with this process, my husband asked me to talk to his lawyer, I am not sure if this is part of his delusion or is real. He seems to struggle when I talk about our home. It was almost like it was hard to remember, i am not sure what is going on. I just feel sad and lost. I am not sure what to do,


#4

The court hearing it’s because he was involutarily commited, happened to me too. Don’t be scared about it, it’s mostly to see if we’re med compliant and will proceed treatment. They asked me on mine if I gave permission to be hospitalized again if it came to it. He will probably be on court ordered injections and that’s good.

The best thing to do is to be by his side and have as much patience as you can. If possible for you right now I can answer some questions about the illness if you’re having trouble assimilating.

Me and my mom read this book and found it to be very enlightening:


#5

No one can say for certain. Does he use street drugs? A lot of people in the construction trades use methamphetamine, and the behavior you described sounds a lot like what meth users do. I suggest looking these over:

http://www.cesar.umd.edu/cesar/drugs/meth.asp

http://www.jcsd.org/Meth%20Symptoms.htm

In whatever event, the following is pertinent to those who are actually schizophrenic (though many of the psychotherapies work well to rehabilitate drug abusers):

  1. Get a copy of these books, read them and have your family read them, as well. (Torrey can be a bit totalistic and unwilling to see exceptions to his “rules” at times, but most of his book is really worth the effort to plough through.)
    http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Schizophrenia-6th-Edition-Family/dp/0062268856
    http://www.amazon.com/The-Complete-Family-Guide-Schizophrenia/dp/1593851804/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=schizophren0c-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=XKLY6NWSWJSQ3VYN&creativeASIN=1593851804

  2. Get properly diagnosed by a board-certified psychopharmacologist who specializes in the psychotic disorders. One can find them at…
    http://doctor.webmd.com/find-a-doctor/specialty/psychiatry and https://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
    .

  3. Work with that “psychiatrist” (or “p-doc”) to develop a medication formula that stabilizes their symptoms sufficiently so that they can tackle the psychotherapy that will disentangle their thinking.
    .

  4. The best of the psychotherapies for that currently include…
    DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
    MBSR – http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php
    MBCT - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22340145
    ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act
    10 StEP – http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-10-steps-of-emotion-processing.html
    .

  5. the even newer somatic psychotherapies like…
    MBBT – https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system
    SEPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatic_Experiencing
    SMPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensorimotor_psychotherapy
    .

  6. or standard CBTs, like…
    REBT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy
    Schematherapy – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_Therapy
    Learned Optimism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism
    Standard CBT – https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Psychotherapy & scroll down
    .

  7. If you/she/he needs a professional intervention to get through treatment resistance, tell me where you live, and I will get back to you with leads to those services.
    .

  8. Look into the RAISE Project at https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=raise%20program%20schizophrenia.
    .

  9. Look for mental illness clubhouses in your area (which can be hugely helpful… but may also pose risks). Dig through the many articles at https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=mental%20illness%20clubhouse%20model to locate and investigate them.


#6

When i was first hospitalized i didn’t recognize myself, i was very sick but i was voluntarily committed. Hospitals are good places to get help. i wasn’t put on injections but i was given medication. The first few days i didn’t do anything, i was too scared until they gave me my meds ( had to have a bunch of blood test, urine sample and be checked out by a family doctor and a psychiatrist) They were careful before recommending to me that i sign up for Medicaid and social security.

I went to groups and saw several therapists before they released me. Before they let me out, they called my partner and made sure she knew of her responsibility. She was to make sure i take my pills and if i became suicidal again to check me back in. What was good about that hospital they gave me a month’s worth of free meds until i made it in to see the psychiatrist at the clinic.

My partner takes her job as my caretaker very seriously, but she is still more than that. I love her. i hope your husband comes back to you.


#7

Thank you I will buy that book… I will keep everyone posted
No streets drugs for.my husband. He did a urinalysis and was clean. I never dine any drugs. And he told me in his teens he did marijuana. He is just too far disorganised. I am praying he gets better. But all this. Is really scary. I am on my way to the visit.


#8

I know it is scary, but you’ll find ways to manage and cope, and hopefully he’ll get better. Meds work the majority of time, and in time when he’s ready think about the therapies notmoses posted, I do CBT and it’s extremelly helpful.


#9

No, no, you can get him back. My son was diagnosed almost three years ago at 26, and it has been a hard three years because he didn’t want to accept that this is permanent. He could come out of psychosis and recognise that he was deluded but he really wanted to think he could get better without drugs. For the last three months he has accepted a depot injection and he is really back to normal now. His emotions are a bit flat, but that’s all. your husband can get better.


#10

My husband can be very stubborn. I saw him je looks better; however I think he struggles understanding he has condition and he needs meds. He said he was over his stay there and he said he felt over medicated. I saw him fine; however he does look sleepy . he proably needs more time to adjust. He was irritated , because the fascility didi not allow him to hold me and be close to me. I understand the rules. But he does not and hurts to see him fighting him self so much. Any advice?


#11

Thanks for sharing. Is relieving knowing other people with similar situation. My husband is stuburn. Is like he denies to have a mental illness


#12

How long has he been in the hospital? Hospitals aren’t an easy place to be… especially mental wards… We need patience also. When I was in there I made a joke, the patients (that have patience in being there), the sick (that really really need to be there) and the users (that go there freewillingly for meds and therapy), and it’s usually like that.


#13

Be patient. It has taken me 6 years to recover to 80% of my former me. I have stuggled hard and when depression and hoplesness hits your husband hard he needs you to be there. My husband never gave up on me. I’m thankful for that today. Depression is very common after psychosis.

Meds can make all the differance. He can be an indipendent individual with meds. If he refuses meds you will propably be a care giver until he understands what differance meds do.

It’s not always easy to find the right combo of meds. It’s trial and error. It can take a long time to find the right combinations.


#14

My husband has been in the hospital for a week and 3 days. He said he feels like drools all the time,I have not seen that. He told me.over the phone he is over all that stay and he wants to come home. He also was very angry to see me go and not being able to love on me. We both young i am 28 and he is 27years old. We both career people. He asked me if there was anyone else cause I was to good and beautiful to be there. He shaved for me i been visiting everyother day as my schedule at work permits and is hard. One night this week I took his favorite magazine handyman. And he was mad thinking the secutity person put his hands on my to check me and touch me and that was not true it all. We been married 3 years. I never seen him so different.


#15

I was in hospital for 6 months. A week is nothing. Give it time. Time and patience. Don’t fall into his delusions. Don’t put restraints in your life because of his delusions. Also take care of yourself or you will not manage this for long. Take time to be on your own. Do stuff you like. Take a long bath. Go shopping. Nice cup of tea and a magazine. You need to remember to relaxe.


#16

Thank you for that advice. I felt guilty for taking care of my self. Is so difficult to be on the other side watching. My husband has been extremely irritable so i will be going less. Is hard to drive an hour for him to be ugly with me. He bacame very mad kicking stuff when the hospital staff told him you cannot hug her is not appropriate here. He yelled profanities stating i am his wife … And that was hard for me to see. He is often concerned about his job. He work for an union so He will be fine. I am just really tired. And i am afraid he will get discharged and I sill not be able to handle him at home. Help me​:sleepy::sleepy::sleepy:


#17

Sunshine, you will be OK once he gets treatment. If he doesn’t accept that he has something wrong, or if he just can’t see it, you need to Google 'I’m not sick, I don’t need help" by Xavier Amador. That will help you to communicate with him. Also, you need to keep telling him that you believe he can get better, that you love him and you are waiting for him. When my son was really, really crazy, whether paranoid or delusional or in a psychotic rage, he would quite down when i reminded him of our relationship, as in “I love you. I’m still your mother. I’m not ever going to abandon you. I love you.” When he is raging, that is what he is worried about, after all. Imagine. Something has gone horribly wrong, and he doesn’t know what. He is locked up, and he doesn’t know for how long. If his wife abandons him now, will he ever get out? What will happen to him? That is what is going through his head. Plus, if he does realise that he is somehow mentally ill (and he may not), he may be terrified that he may never get better.

So tell him you know that lots of people go into psychiatric wards, get treatment and get better. Tell him you googled it. Tell him you found websites where people talk about their recovery and how to do it. That way when you visit him you give him a sense of hope, you support him. Just that will bring improvement, i am sure.


#18

Hi sunshine, I really feel for what you’re going through. My wife went psychotic in June 2014 and crashed her car on purpose. It felt like my life was a giant nightmare. I would first recommend finding a nami support group. Read as much info as you can. What works for me is watching videos, Google Charlie rose brain series, the schizophrenia episode. The docs they have on there do a great job of explaining sz. If you need to talk, DM me and I will help you as much as I can. My wife has sza as well and it can be scary when you’re thrust into this hell. Knowledge is power and the more you learn, the better decisions you’ll make down the road. Good luck and Godspeed.


#19

Thank you i feel that my life is hell now


#20

Unfortunately, that’s why we’re on this site to try to get some answers. Being the caregiver to someone who has one of the worst diseases that has ever been inflicted on the earth puts you in a no win situation. Yes, cancer and diabetes are awful…but there is support for those illnesses for the victim and the family. Sz has the added factor of lack of insight which makes treatment exponentially more difficult. When it comes to mental health issues…we’re on our own because of society’s lack of understanding and compassion. People are scared because of what they see on TV and the guy walking down the street screaming at himself.

I wish there was a silver bullet that we could give you, but there isn’t. I think the advice of taking time for yourself and treat yourself to things is key because you will start to go down hill. When my wife had her psychotic breakdown, the stress caused my heart condition to flare up and I was in the ER. Whatever it is that your spouse was providing for you (emotional or other things), you’ll probably have to learn to live without that for awhile. I have really bad days and I get very discouraged, so in those moments pick up the phone and phone a friend…hell I’ll even give you my number if that’s what it takes and you can call or text me. Everyone on this board is here for each other, we’re a community and we know how hard it is to live with this awful reality. I think of this website as the lighthouse, we sometimes get lost in the fog and the rough seas…but here you get answers and realtime updates that you can’t get from your doctor or hospital. I’ve learned 50% of what I know about this disease by coming here. We all have to band together to survive the storms of this illness.

Here are some helpful videos I found online:

Psychosis: Schizophrenia, Schizoaffective Disorder, Delusional Disorder, Hallucinations

Stolen minds, stolen lives:

Charlie Rose brain series schizophrenia