Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Nuclear Rebellion

I think I’ve discussed this on the forum or maybe I just brought up with my other two daughters. I do want to apologize for current negativity. I’m trying to shake it by taking more walks.

My daughter with sz is in full rebellion mode. As a child and teenager and even in her twenties my daughter has always been extremely close to me. I nursed her for 18 months old and then weaned her because I felt she was getting to old to be breastfed.

Do you think my daughter is going through her teenage rebellion stage at 33 because everything I do is wrong in her eyes and she tells me daily how much she hates me and she’s never been that way with me. A huge part of me want to believe that is what is happening and that she will eventually settle down and not act out so much. I’m almost 70 and I’m getting very tired by all this drama.

Those of you with older children with mi have you seen the rebellion behavior and how long does it last?

My fiancé has Oppositional Defiant Disorder and yesterday on phone call he told his mom to “fuck off.” He told the psychologist that his parents were abusive and emotional neglectful and that he doesn’t feel supported by his family. His parents and grandparents are rich bought him everything he ever wanted, took him whenever he wanted to, let him throw parties with a house with a pool table and a jacuzzi and all that jazz. They have traveled almost anywhere in the United States. His grandparents call him every month and send us a package with food and other gifts. His mom calls at least every 2 weeks and manages his bank account since she’s his representative payee and takes care of all the applications. When they kicked him out for threatening to kill them and making the house a mess, for the next two years she payed for all his rent and food until he finally agreed to take disability because he didn’t want it initially.

Bottom line: No matter what you do, some people will just be ungrateful assholes, and you will find it with the people this disease especially. You don’t have to stand for it. Set boundaries and put her in a hospital for a year so that she can get her life together if she needs it. She needs to be responsible for herself in the end and be there for her children. None of this is your fault, it’s just the way some individuals are programmed and affected by this illness.

Thank you Doctor for your feedback. Your description of your boyfriend is exactly how my daughter behaves. I don’t believe that my daughter does it intentionally. I think my daughter is truly suffering and I’m almost sure that if she actually understood what she is doing to her family she would be horrified. Before her illness my daughter was extremely sensitive and kind but being understanding doesn’t make it easier to deal with her and quite frankly having her in my home has become a living nightmare. I find myself becoming extremely short and angry with her and I hate feeling that way. I know her mental illness is not her fault and I’ve gone more than the extra mile in helping and advocating for her but now it’s becoming too much for me to handle.

You’re welcome, and I get what you mean, I see it happening with his family too. He said that he had been saying the same thing every day of his life and when his mom asked him, he said it was “fuck off.” She responded that he didn’t say that when he was little and he became silent for a moment, then continued speaking about how society is a plague. His grandparents said he was very sweet up until he was 15 and just an absolutely wonderful boy. I don’t know what happened to him, but I know he went through depression for some reason and then began doing drugs at 17, which completely messed him up. His mom had basically given up on him, but I think she’s trying to hear him out now that he’s begun on medications. He has Asperger’s, so from what I’ve seen I’m not sure if he’s capable of realizing what’s he’s doing completely or displaying that kind of empathy towards his family. The only person I’ve seen him show empathy towards all this time is me and even before there was an epoc where he was just plain cruel and nasty that I had to break up with him and set boundaries until he stopped being a complete jerk.