When a family member is agitated and loud

Hi y’all, I can’t tolerate when someone is acting loud and agitated. I had to step in between family members today where one grabbed the shirt of the other and started pulling on it. I took it as the one family member was being threatened. So I stepped up and pushed that family member away to stop the tussle. My family member was pissed because his breakfast bacon got tossed out to the dogs or thrown away. And I am enduring this situation and our good friend is over I say to myself, ‘such an embarrassment I’m sorry’. But things went back to normal after that. Are your households crazy? And how do you deal with?

Sometimes things get very odd at our place and my brother who is diagnosed Sz is NOT in any way involved, as it’s two of my other brothers who are going through something.

My brother who has been diagnosed handles himself with more grace and manners then my brothers who are considered just fine.

We try and keep the drama down but it doesn’t always work. The first thing I do is get my brother who is SZ out of there so if there is any stupidity doesn’t’ get blamed on him. It has unfairly happened in the past and I don’t like it when that does, so get him out of the picture
the next step is I try and calm the situation down by telling my other brothers… “hey, I am going to call the cops.” It does quiet the situation.

I also try and get the brothers to go to separate corners or get one outside and ask quietly… What and why. Once they are apart… it gets better.

The biggest thing is separate and then calm the situation down and then listen.

Shit has sometimes been ugly here. I am the voice of reason but I don’t react well to aggression.

I hope you don’t mind me saying that I like reading your post. You are very aware of you limitations as well as your strengths. You are very focused and determined. I have a feeling that you will definitely keep your eye on your goal. It’s hard to do.

As someone who is closer to my age, how restless do you get? I’m trying to stay on track with school and I DO want to be a nurse. But then other ideas sound good too. If and only if I don’t make it to Nursing, I have a back up plan as going into education.
If and only if some other path takes you by surprise again what might be something else you would dream of doing? If you don’t mind me asking?

Sorry this is not on topic of aggression in the family.

Well I have always thought that I could teach. I do want to pursue higher education, as a bachelors in psych is pretty useless, so I think that if I can’t make it in the Ph.D. program, I would just get a masters and work at a mental hospital doing intake evaluations.

But honestly I put all of my eggs in one basket. Majoring in psychology is also good for going into law, but I am pretty dead set on working in the mental health field- it’s just a matter of what position I will have…I might be in charge of a place as a Ph.D. or just working there with a Master’s.

I really want to do evaluations…maybe I will get a masters, do intake evaluations and then get a doctorate while working. But honestly, I don’t have a backup plan and I am too far into psychology to turn back and major in something else. I might be doing research this summer, I asked the prof in charge of it and she said to come back in April when they know how much funding they have. I will hopefully be doing research on schizophrenia using rats!

It’s too late for a backup plan for me. I’m already way deep into my major, I put off my gen. ed. for the summers.

But that’s good that you have one. I really should have one but I am pretty hell-bent on working with mentally ill people for a living. I was hell-bent on becoming a Navy SEAL before my onset and even then I put all of my eggs in that basket, I was training in Krav Maga as much as I was studying for the ACT when I was a teenager. Maybe I would have gotten an even bigger scholarship with a stipend if I had studied more back then!

My child is living independently with her own family but I do remember the days when she would get loud, agitated and angry. What I have learned is when my daughter is in that state is to stay calm myself. I’ve learned not to get upset when she is behaving erratically and not to criticize her behavior. When she was younger there were times I would have to give her a PRN to calm her down. Now that she is living independently and she come over and is behaving agitated and loud I ask her to please leave and go home. Her partner who also has a mental illness is able to calm her down and encourages her to take a prn and/or call her doctor or caseworker for an appointment. Afterwards she always apologizes to me and feels embarrassed about her behavior. I tell her I never take it personally when she is out of control and that I know it’s her illness talking and not her. And I always tell her after such an event and when she is apologizing to me that I love her no matter what happens and that I’m proud that she is able to advocate for herself.