Opps... Scared my parents


Here is a question for the care givers, parents and love ones… when the phone rings at an unusual time and you see it’s your son or daughter or loved one who is fighting Sz,

Do you instantly think the worst? Do you feel a wave of dread or do you answer the phone normal and just hope for the best?

My sis and I went out for lunch and there were a lot of high school kids around… it’s early release day. So I used my sister’s phone and called my Mom to see if she wanted to join us for lunch…

On my sisters phone, I dial and my Mom answers… “Riley! What’s wrong?! Is J OK?”

Yes, I am feeling pretty good today in fact.

We called Dad too since the school he works at is on the same schedule. On my sisters phone I dial… My Dad answers… “Riley… hi, didn’t expect this… Is J OK?”

They came to lunch, but they were still asking, “Nothing is bothering you? Anything you want to discuss? Did you want to schedule and appointment for anything?”

When I said “No, I just wanted to have lunch with you guys.” Mom looked like she was going to cry.

Either my parents are in constant panic mode or my kid sis never calls just to say hi.


When my son wasn’t living with me… My first thought would be “oh no” when his nana’s number or any number from that province showed up on my phone.

Even with my daughter though who I would have no reason to expect the worse, part of me still thinks “oh no” when I see her number.

I think part of it is normal parental reactions but compounded by what you guys have been through which unfortunately probably means there were not a lot of phone calls just to say hi. As they happen more I’m sure your mom and dad will adjust and what a wonderful adjustment to make :sunny:


I will call more to say hi, but it’s going to make them jump out of their skin… It almost seems like there should be two numbers on a cell phone… one for emergencies/ bad news and one for good news…

If this is bad news, press 1
If this is good news press 2

I wonder if something like that could work?


Almost the opposite for me. When I get a phone call from my parents during the night or early in the morning I have a nameless dread that something bad has happened to them. They are undoubtedly a lot older than your parents and have health problems. But 50% of the time when I call my mom she will say, 'Oh, I was just thinking of you".


Do you have texting? Text first saying I’m going to call. The text would be like pressing 2


Before I got caller I.D. Everyone would e-mail me before they called the house because they knew if they didn’t, I wouldn’t answer.

I like that… Text to warn them I’m calling with not bad news.


Son and I like to text if we’re not in the same vicinity. If he actually calls my phone my heart sinks to my feet and I’m always apprehensive. If it’s nothing bad I feel a wave of relief.

I totally get why your parents reacted the way they did. They were probably elated when they found out that you wanted them to join you for lunch!


My mom used to always get scared whenever I called here and was always suspicious about when the other shoe would drop. I find barbieBF is right. Texting is really good. I have started swapping small texts with my Mom every day just to tell her I love her (making up for lost time) and she was wary at first but its gotten better.


**I am crying and laughing at the same time! My therapist thinks I suffer from PTST. I thought it was just me-something I couldn`t get over. I love this site!


I have to admit that I become tense when I see my son’s number on caller ID. When things are good, he starts the conversation with, “Hello, Mother.” (Sounds formal but he says it cheerfully) It is by far the best thing I hear all week!


I also look at my phone with some nervousness when I see my son’s number. For a while he was calling very frequently every day, and I had to limit the number of times I answered. Other times, when he was agitated, I would get yelled at and verbally abused for things he imagined I had done,or get demands for me to do things.

And then sometimes he just wants to talk, explaining the complex physics he works on in his head. Just never know which will be calling.


lol when my son says “hello mother” I know he’s doing well :slight_smile:


I like a lot of what people said here. I’m sure they were really very happy to have lunch with you.

When my best friend calls me, I’m not worried. But when he e-mails me, I do have that moment of worry before opening it. The way he is, when he’s not doing well, he only writes e-mails, he doesn’t want to speak to anyone in person. So a phone call is always a very good thing.