I guess this will be me mostly venting, as I feel the need to.
I have a previous post on here if you want to catch up
[Wife in psychosis - #9 by Sully]
So it’s been over 7 weeks now since my wife “ended the relationship” because she dreamt I cheated on her 3 times. Progress with her has been very slow. She slowly started exhibiting signs of psychosis last June, but I was working very long hours and an unregular schedule so while I noticed she was acting weird I didn’t know it was psychosis, it seemed she had things under control for the most part. For example she had a delusion her aunts and cousins were out to get her, to the point where she made me block them on social media for “our protection”
She’s been to the psychiatrist once and was put on 25mg of quetiapine which she has now been taking for a month and her family have told me she has been sleeping better and calmed down.
She went for bloodwork almost two weeks ago and they should be going to the psychiatrist again sometime this month. She hasn’t started any other meds yet and this waiting is torturing me. As mentioned in my previous post we’re currently both in two countries but we used to live in the US together, I had to come to Ireland to get an income established from here so I can legally bring her in. However at this point in time I don’t know if I’ll ever see my wife again.
I tried breaking the no contact about 3 weeks in but just got told we were done forever and that she was already in another relationship (which I was told isn’t true as she hadn’t left the house unsupervised) it was my mistake trying to contact her as I know I shouldn’t have but the silence was killing me.
I’ve been in contact with her family and they want us back together, but I don’t want to annoy them too much as they’re waiting to go to the psychiatrist since there’s a waiting list for appointments
She has since been going on social media, posting selfies of herself although not really getting any likes other than family members/her parent’s friends, she changed her name back to what it was before the marriage(although we’re still legally married) and lists herself as single.
They’ve reported she is slowly getting better, for example she is no longer talking about her aunts sending bad energy/spells towards her and her mother took away her tarot cards(which I think greatly contributed to this) she even said she doesn’t care if she sees them on the street, but she hasn’t tried to reestablish contact with them.
She still has the delusion that I cheated on her, her sister said that if the supposed cheating is mentioned that my wife says to not talk about it or she’ll have a meltdown.
I haven’t tried to make any contact since as I don’t want to be shot down and blocked again, I also don’t want her to get even more suspicious.
I know the best course of action is probably just to wait but I don’t know what will happen, she was very much in love with me and very interested in moving to Ireland before this and now she doesn’t want to come. She went from warm hearted to cold hearted very quickly.
I’m trying to hold out hope but it’s very difficult. On the one hand her parents want us back together but I don’t like that she refuses to talk to me. I think at this point I don’t think I’ll send any more messages to her, rather just wait until she messages me.
I guess if there’s a question I should ask, it’s do spouses who end relationships during psychosis usually regret what they do? I don’t want to have to file for divorce but realize I may have to if this silence goes on for months. We’re still married and I’d at least like to try and fix this as my wife and I had a strong foundation and a close relationship together.
Hi, I’ve been following your story as it somewhat mirrors my experience with my ex wife. My ex took around 3 months to snap out of her delusions after accusing me of abuse, leaving abruptly, asking for divorce and blocking contact. This is really tough on anyone and I’m so sorry that you are going through this.
What I learned from the experience is that first and foremost you need to look after yourself. What helped me was therapy, reading books on schizophrenia, reading other caregiver experiences with a loved one with schizophrenia and journaling. I also reached out to my own friends, but no one can fully relate or understand unless they also have a loved one with this condition. Hence reading posts on this forum as well as reddit schizofamilies is what really helped me.
I also refrained from contacting my then wife during this time as when I did, it was to no avail. I would be ignored or vilified. I decided that I need to let go and stopped contact with her until she was willing to reach out. Three months later she reached out and apologised for her behaviour. This was huge for me. She had regrets and wanted to get back together.
We did get back together, but the same cycle would repeat. We had good times again, but the delusions would return even while medicated. It was hard, took a toll on me. Was impacting my career and my health.
Yeah that does sound like my story, for me it built up over two then happened after I confronted her. I’ve slowly been starting to take care of myself more. I’ve been going to therapy, watching lots of videos and I’ve started reading about the condition. I started journaling but I think I should do it more. Yeah you’ve probably seen me post on schizofamilies on reddit as well as here, at this point in time I feel very alone as my wife was who I shared everything with.
I’ve reached out to some of my friends, in fact I’ll be seeing one of them this Saturday. His father has bipolar and I think has gone through psychosis, he’s at least aware of the condition.
Yeah I haven’t talked to my wife other than the one time where I reached out and got shot down. I have seen her social media and she’s posting a lot of selfies and music videos of bands she likes. I think she’s been talking to some old friends of hers on social media and has probably said bad things about me. Then again she isn’t properly medicated and her friends probably don’t realize it, but her family does. I suspect she’s putting selfies of herself on social media for attention, she’s a very insecure person and has always been afraid of me cheating/leaving her. I’ve had to reassure her so many times that I would never cheat on her. I’ve worked a lot for the both of us for the last few years, when not working I’m often resting and cheating isn’t on my mind, I also can’t even think of another woman that way as I love her so much.
I’m hoping she reaches out, I don’t know when it’ll be but I’ve been reading that a most of those who end relationships/divorce during psychosis seem to regret it. I want to give my wife another chance but if this happens again, I don’t think I will give her any other chances. This is our first time going through this and nobody in my family has gone through it. She should be starting some new meds this month and hopefully think clearer soon. I’ve been reading a lot that it can take anywhere from a few days to weeks/months for the meds to make them think clearer. At the same time I don’t know what I’ll say if she comes and apologises, admittedly the thought of it gives me anxiety.
Her parents want us back together as they said she was really happy with me as I was taking care of her and she loved me a lot. I’m thinking her mom might convince her to reach out. I haven’t talked to anyone in her family in about a week but I don’t think I’ll contact anybody until the end of April or they reach out to me as I’d like for there to be some progress as there isn’t much now