Police were just here again!


#1

This is getting so out of control. Last night my fiancee fell asleep on the couch for 4 hours and wanted me to spend the night but I knew he would be up all night. We were supposed to do some errands and he called me at 11am telling that he was going to put everything at the curb. I got therein a hurry and it got worse. He went to the office and signed a 30 days notice to leave.

Then he called the police on me! He thinks he can stay with his family. They dont even answer the phone. The police told him not to move anything to the curb or he will get arrested. Now he wants to leave to go walking away without a coat on. I told him I’m not keeping him here so he started walking out without a coat and I said no now for the last hour I’m a liar.
The police can’t make him get the help he needs
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!


#2

It is so cold here. 20 degrees. Nowhere else to go. None of the Bill’s are paid.


#3

I recognize the panic you are feeling. It sounds you are feeling cornered by the sheer illogical nature of this illness. It is horrible frustrating!

#1 Deep breaths.

#2 Are you safe? If not, then get to a place where you feel safe. Things are not important - though I also understand the horrible frustration of seeing things you have worked for and provided being discarded. It feels personal. If, however, these are his things, even tho it is illogical, you really can’t force him to keep them. Your alternative might be, if possible, to provide some place to store some things.

#3 Is your loved one safe? If he is not able to keep himself safe, you may be able to have him hospitalized for evaluation. That is never easy to do, but sometimes is the best decision.

I know you love this man. But you also must consider your needs and responsibilities and your happiness. You have your own place, right? If you do, I suggest you create some separation. Without legal guardianship, you will not be able to force him to make logical decisions, and you will not be able to talk him out of the illness. You might be able to provide him some alternatives to consider, but if he is experiencing psychosis, there is little that any talking can accomplish.


#4

@Laz - Why didn’t the police take him to the hospital? If he has left without his coat. Can you notify them?


#5

I dont know why they didn’t take him. He wasn’t making much sense. He still wants to go. No rationalization is going to work. He threw my and his cigarettes in the sink and drowned them
He smoked 2 packs a day now pacing like a wild animal


#6

Yes I’m safe. Shaking a lot. The police told him he has 30 day and that I need time/notice to remove whatever. He wanted totally out today. Impossible. Final walk thru is after30 days and he didnt even pay his rent for this month yet. It is so not like him. None of the Bill’s are paid


#7

He left earlier and I asked where he was going…his reply…heaven???


#8

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It does sound like the police should have taken him for psychiatric hold, but I don’t know the rules where you live. It might be best for you to go home to your place, no? You cannot control him unfortunately. You could call the police non-emergency line and ask what help they could provide.


#9

If you have any suspicion that this is a suicide threat, police should help you locate him and take him for evaluation.


#10

My fiance gets like this to sometimes. But calling the police don’t helps. My fiance is also ex military so he is trained to manipulate others. I called the police once 2 years ago. NEVER AGAIN. I told then he was having a psychotic break, he drank a12 pack, took off in his car and told me not to show up to his funeral. He arrives home 2 hrs later and locked himself in our shed. So I called the police. They surrounded the shed guns drawn. Took him to the hospital for an evaluation. The nurses held him for 2 hrs u til his b.a.l. was low enough to go home. When I picked him up all the nurses said they didnt understand why he was brought in. “He was a delite to have but showed no signs of any problem.” I was SHOCKED and dealt with the reprocutions of him not trusting me for months.


#11

Oh, my, that certainly did not go well for you. In my town, if, when the police are called for a mental health episode, I tell them that a CIT officer is requested (crisis intervention team) then usually an officer with extra training comes. Although sometimes, my daughter was no longer acting up by the time the police arrived and so they just left again.