Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

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#1

not sure if anyone remembers the entire ordeal with my ex boyfriend, an undiagnosed schizophrenic. not sure i can recap everything, but he basically was a huge asshole, stole from me, chose weed over me and his family, lied 24/7… i was basically taking care of him. he refused to even do the dishes. he was a lazy jerk. i believe his schizophrenia was his best quality, honestly.

well i left him a long while back. im sure there is a post on that too. he ended up with his dad, who let him get away with continuing to be a lazy shit. then he ended up with friends, they grew sick of his craziness and his unwillingness to work and ended up back at his dad’s. we argued over the internet a few times, even though i should have NEVER talked to him again. then he seemed to disapear. no word from him, no fb/twitter updates for four months.

then he called me out of nowhere a few weeks ago. he walked to the nearest city (a 45 minute drive) and now lives there as a hobo, from what i gathered. he has not showered for the entire time. he seemed even more delusional than ever, sure he is on even more drugs. but he said he is better off and even asked about a recent video game that came out… he obviously iis VERY delusional and cannot see how far he has fallen and how low he is. he told me he may be a pirate, maybe a cat, and that he is dante (a “voice” that he thought was a second personality as a kid that apparently took him over since then…).

he said the reason he called is that he was worried for me. why? because he was hanging out with my ghost and then it disappeared.

even though he was a piece of crap, abusive and a waste, i still feel bad that he has gotten to this point. sometimes i have dreams where i go see him. or i picture him resting his head on my lap. i guess i feel that it’s a wasted life, that he could have been helped. now he is another mentally ill homeless person with no hope of improvement. not sure how much worse it will get for him.

i do not love him anymore, not even a little bit, but i care about him. not asking for advice. but has anyone had a similar experience happen?


#2

“I believe his schizophrenia was his best quality, honestly.”

lol!

Ba-Zing!!


#3

Some people in this world can’t help themselves, and won’t let others help them no matter how hard you try.

Sometimes you just have to let a person go and get on with your own life. For your own mental well being.


#4

patrick, yeah i realized that people have to WANT help. he thinks he is totally fine, even going so far as thinking he is BETTER OFF and SUPERIOR to most other people. i stopped trying to help almost a year ago and have lived my life fully. we barely talked that whole year. but once in a while i think of him and feel bad. guess i don’t need advice, just venting to people who may understand either side, you know?


#5

Don’t get caught up with a ‘sponge’ in your life. Move on and don’t look back.

Best ending to any song ever…


#6

I didn’t read your whole post but one day hopefully he’ll learn to seek help and will be helped

Either way u should move on cuz you can’t bank on that… And if you meet someone at the wrong time you’re not destined for one another imo

You look young you have plenty of time to meet someone

Good luck


#7

And yeah. What Patrick said. I read this quotation out of context and geez this is insulting


#8

Did I insult somebody, TTP?


#9

No she did when she listed all his bad traits and said “frankly, schizophrenia was his best trait”…I read it out of context and thought she was saying a compliment or something to schizophrenics but actually quite insulting

No you’re good :laughing:

I still stand by my first post though


#10

im sorry if i offended anyone! not my intentions at all. i was sorta just joking, being a dick. i don’t think being schizophrenic is bad or anything, although i feel it must be difficult. but having a mental illness is USUALLY seen as a negative thing to have and it was STILL his best quality.


#11

He sounds like a jerk. You’re best off without him.


#12

It sounds like this man has had a traumatic experience, possibly induced by substances or a shocking discovery. Being homeless or on the streets is traumatic enough to enable a schizophrenic psychosis. But what I think, often that initiates a schizophrenic condition is a sudden radical shift in thinking, either by a personal realization, or through some kind of abusive or traumatic incident. Maybe something bad happened in his past that he suppressed and began to develop a traumatized identity, and he can’t cope with his emotional pain and damage–not all people with emotional baggage are violent or episodic. He could be going through a lot of stress trying to overcome some kind of post traumatic stress and without being able to vent or integrate his associations are becoming transferred and fixated. Because when a person has a crisis they fixate on anything that will ground them, and often the process of attachments can lead to unhealthy habits and that is why a psychotic person unravels if their behaviors aren’t removed. That might even be why some psychiatrists in the past tried ECT or breaking a person’s thought patterns in order to try and coerce a normal world-view which hasn’t proven to be completely successful. The best thing for a person is to talk, express themselves through verbal or written language coherently and if he is incoherent certain medications and relaxation techniques can bring him a consistent coherent way of coping and dealing with his psychosis. You must find someone to talk him down.


#13

Most people on here with insight know the truth. If your friend is having psychosis or has chronic schizophrenia then his awareness is completely impaired. This is a hard thing to convey to outsiders. When a person has psychosis, their inner self is completely broken. It’s like they’ve shattered completely, and cannot define themselves in any usual context, because their thoughts are broken too, the communication is what is affected most profoundly and first. Your cognitive awareness and identity completely changes, and you have a constant life-long battle in re-defining and relating yourself to the world around you. It’s no joke. The reason people get schizophrenia is because psychosis is not being treated professionally, and the root cause of the condition is a predisposed brain to acute stress. This predisposition can also be caused by demyleination or muscle disorders like MS or nerve disorders because schizophrenia is a type of nerve disorder. Paranoia is a type of anxiety that evolves out of nervous disorders. When a person cannot adequately supplement the loss of tissue due to stress, genetic mutation, or biological toxins then the brain begins to slowly lose its elasticity, causing nerve tension and serious complications with the way a person behaves and processes information. It’s more common than 3 percent of the US population, contrary to older statistics, and if you look up myelination you will see studies since as far back as 2003 and prior that indicate demyelination as a factor which induces schizophrenia or chronic nerve disorders.

In addition: medications that reduce brain activity i.e. anti-pyschotics and other medications used to combat schizophrenia work because these medications reduce stress. That’s how they mask the underlying condition, but can affectively break a person’s sudden psychotic irrational thinking by changing the way their brain receptors are acting. That can help a person re-program themselves back to rational behavior and self awareness, but that has to be done sometimes for serious cases by repairing nerve damage and science isn’t quite there yet–but you can get certain types of supplements like st. johns wort and vitamins that sometimes can repair nerve damage, free radical damage, or aid in healthy bacteria like probiotics. You have to do thorough research to find a safe effective and healthy alternative to anti-psychotic medication but I think AP’s are needed because they are psychoactive, or change the way the brain works–and this could be an oxygen tank, Siberian Ginseng.


#14

Yeah, you can’t erase the memories of better times and the memories of good feelings between you in the past. But you don’t actually owe him anything. You are both different people now and have separate lives. Hopefully you are doing good in your life now but unfortunately his life took a downturn which has nothing to do with you. Obviously you guys will never get back together in a million years and the odds are good that you will never talk again or lay eyes on each other again. That’s just the way it is.

Do you feel like you owe him something? Maybe you feel lingering guilt about how his life turned out. It’s not your fault and now you are just two people who had a connection at one time. But that is over now. That chapter of your life is over and now you move on.

I don’t know if you want to help him or not or see him but realistically what is that going to do except maybe suck you into the morass of this poor guys life?As
a fellow schizophrenic and a human being I feel a pang of compassion for the guy but he’s not your responsibility "

My sister had a somewhat similar situation about two months ago. She had been divorced from her ex for ten years and never saw him, talked to him, or communicated with him after they divorced. But 4 months ago she somehow learned that her ex had had a stroke when he od’d on meth, alcohol and pills. It hit him hard and he barely survived with half his heart gone.

But she had been in love with him for a long time and out of loyalty she visited him in intensive care while his whole family gave up on him and never visited him once. It’s a sad story and he ended up dying. You have free will and ultimately it is your choice and decision whether to contact him or not. The relationship ended badly, Realistically, I if you see him again, I doubt he’s changed and there will never be good feelings between you ever again. Honor your good memories of him but look out for yourself first.


#15

It’s nice to hear from you again. I’m sorry the guy has ended up in the situation he’s in.

When you described his happiness and almost free exhilaration…

I don’t really remember being that bad off… but I know I was. I was homeless… psychotic… running around communing with lamp posts, and getting worse.

I’m glad your safe and things are moving on. I hope you ex will get some help soon.


#16

Watch your mouth, @raghu

That’s no way to talk to the ladies. And besides, she’s right.


#17

that’s a matter of opinion.

raghu went overboard, I give you that.


#18

It’s entirely possible for someone to have a dick of a personality AND have schizophrenia. This seems to be the case imo.


#19

Yeah I don’t know the story well enough to say, this posts doesn’t say anything about it, just that he was lazy and has delusions… Even if he is a dick, its no excuse to put sz like a bad characteristic of someone. It’s not like we can change it.


#20

The difference is he appeared to be a lazy bum BEFORE he became symptomatic.
I see lots of bums on Judge Judy, I tried to avoid them, but they can be experts in
manipulating women.
Luckily you did not get married.
So now you owe him nothing.

Don’t let him guilt trip you into getting back together.
People can be sick but still also be a thief and liar,
the illness does not protect you from character defects.