Relatives tell me my son is making it up


#1

Sorry, I am on a posting roll it seems… My parents firmly believe my teenager is making everything up. That this is a huge cry for help and I need to discipline him not put him on medication. It does not matter that a psychiatrist and a psychologist have both formally diagnosed him. So on top of everything, I have them judging me and judging my son… has anyone else experienced this? What do you do with this?

Jax


#2

Dear Jax, that is awful of them, probably just ignorance.

Ignore them on this subject and foster the relationships as much as you can in other ways. If they bring it up, suggest they attend NAMI Family to Family classes to educate themselves.

The judgements are painful and useless. These illnesses are often so severe that we just have to ignore what or whom is not helping and move forward as best we can.

There were people in my life, people close to me, who I just did not talk to about the illness after the first attempts to reach out for help and understanding. Then a few years later, when things got so bad that there was no denying that severe mental illness was the cause, they did help out because they finally got it. But it took that few years of me not trying to convince the. When telling them the truth was useless, I just accepted that.


#3

My parents never accepted that my sz husband was sick. Couldn’t understand why he could not work. Such denials are hurtful and frustrating :tulip:


#5

I am so sorry that your relatives don’t understand. I know it is difficult for outsiders to see the psychosis symptoms and realize that these are unfortunately very real and not made up. All you can do is explain and if they are unwilling to research this a bit, then it’s best to avoid the subject. Honestly, I had no clue about any of this until my granddaughter was diagnosed. I knew about mental illness like depression, anxiety disorder, etc but I had to do a lot of reading to understand sz.


#6

Yes, I have had all relatives tell me that my daughter needs discipline/tough love and that she “is faking it because she can control it”. It sucks to have no support, but it is worse to have stupid advice from relatives who are totally unwilling to help in any way.


#7

Bless you, Omi, for caring enough to find out more about your granddaughter’s illness. She is lucky to have you. My son’s grandmother, (my husband’s mother) who was always caring and attentive before, has practically vanished since he was diagnosed. She used to call and visit just about every week, but we have hardly heard from her in 4 months. She only lives a few miles away, but it might as well be another continent. I think she is afraid of him. I am very angry about it anyway. I know she would be quite different if he was diagnosed with cancer or something like that. She’s a retired social worker, so you’d think she would know better. I think my husband is as angry as I am, and hurt as well.


#8

That is very sad. I am so sorry. My granddaughter is actually living with me. Her dad, who raised her by himself for most of her life, and I agreed she would do better at my house. He remarried a couple of years ago and his stepdaughter has serious mental issues as well. I just became too stressful for all of them. He remains in her life on a daily basis and continues to be the best dad I know.


#9

I honestly didn’t believe that my brother was Schizophrenic for the first few years either. I thought it was his alcoholism, drug addiction (& he just loved the prescription meds he was getting because of the diagnosis), or that the periods of not sleeping were leading him to hallucinate. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally started to accept it. Maybe your son hides his symptoms very well around them? My brother is skilled at doing that, & that’s why I didn’t see it for so many years. It didn’t help matters much that his wife didn’t open up about his hallucinations & attacks against her. It wasn’t until both of them were honest, that I became a believer. He is even skilled at keeping his Dr’s from knowing that he is currently experiencing issues.

Just be patient, & try to educate them. Eventually they will see his behaviors, & become believers too. (Hugs)


#10

I really feel for you. There are many people like that. Understanding about mental health is just so bad. So many people think the victims are just manipulative and not sick at all. I can only hope that they educate themselves and become more supportive. We all need all the support we can get. It is difficult enough taking care of our loved ones without suffering the negative judgements as well.


#11

They do that even though my daughter was told by his doctor how sick he was she still didn’t believe it