Im someone that has recently been told that I have schizoaffective with manic bipolar depression disorder PTSD with disosiative disorder I am currently an active duty military member that is far away from family. This is all new to me. I just woke up one day and every thing was different. Im currently on meds and have some days where im okay. Such as today. But I am struggling. I have searched for online forums for weeks now to try and find people that have or live with people that have this issue. There are days where im in complete denial of this illness, days find notes and calls from doctors that make me relive crazy senarios. I refuse to go back to the hospital and will not comply with being institutionalized. I feel like I have a good hold on this where im at and most days I feel sane. Some days I am so lost I find myself in different locations with no clue how I got there with major paronoia, like im being stalked or watched. (this is when the voices are there worst) I know I work for the goverment but I feel like they’re trying to control me and monitor me on my devices with propaganda and map out my routs I travel on and spectate me. I struggle with somedays of just laying on the couch where I physically cannot get up and function, my walls move, and the voices tell me im useless and need to die or make me hostile tward others.(why I was admitted the last time) I know I just said a lot of things that I probably shouldnt have but I am simply looking for tips and tricks. I understand if this post is not allowed since I am not a family member or a caretaker. I want to respect the guid lines but other than my tharapist’s I have no one that is like me to talk too.
Welcome! No worries about saying things that you shouldn’t have, discussing symptoms is a lot of what happens here. We do have some people who may be able to help you more than I can, I will tag them with this message. You are welcome to be on this family forum.
The other forum at schizophrenia.com is intended for people with a diagnosis and my understanding is that they do have some rules about what may or may not be discussed. That forum may also be a valuable resource for you. @Maggotbrane @777nick777
Welcome, I to searched for a long time for a forum specifically for scz disorders as my sibling has schizoaffective and PTSD . This site is a wealth of information.
You might also join a Nami.org peer support group
It’s very helpful to hear from a diagnosed perspective. Thank you for sharing here .
Thank you for sharing- as a mother of a son with schizophrenia it helps me understand what one experiences with schizophrenia- there is a good support group and information about schizophrenia on the website CureSZ. You’ll find a lot of helpful information- the support group has both people living with schizophrenia and friends and family of people with schizophrenia- take care of yourself- it’s common not to think you have this diagnosis- it’s called anosignosia-a book called I’m not sick and I don’t need help- take care
Carlie
Unfortunately denying the problem is SO common. My son has stopped taking his shot (5 months) and is in denial and not acting normal. He may end up back in Psych. Hospital if he becomes A threat to himself or us, his family, where he lives.
Getting back on your meds., is my advise, you’ll feel more like yourself.
One day at a time.
Diagnosed caregiver’s perspective here:
I feel you misunderstand the purpose of hospitalization. The people at the hospital have absolutely no interest in “institutionalizing” you. They would like nothing better for you than to leave the hospital and never come back— that’s what I did nearly 40 years ago. That means they did their job well. Your job after hospitalization is to take your meds and stay well. Not everyone can manage that, but it’s important to try as hard as you can for the good of everyone— and most importantly yourself. You will have a much much much better life if you do.
This clip from the show House dramatizes ideally how hospitalization should work:
Now I understand very well it can be lonely. I spent time in the separate diagnosed forum here and eventually left, because I felt I learned all I could and didn’t quite fit anymore. Nothing you said so far would get you timed-out or banned in either forum. Generally wildly delusional, argumentative or confrontational dialogue gets you in trouble. There are also bipolar and DID and PTSD forums that may offer some suggestions about navigating and recovery from manic and other episodes. I used to attend NAMI meetings and even went to a national conference, but again I learned all I could learn and didn’t fit anymore. Judging by what you say in your post, I feel you could benefit from time spent in forums and NAMI and similar IRL groups. Information in books and movies can also help. I found Elyn Saks’ memoir The Center Cannot Hold to be helpful in realizing I was not alone.
Sorry to say, I don’t think I can offer you a personalized “cheat code” to recovery— it’s hard work and tricks that worked for me may not work for you. That’s why you have professionals and support groups. You need to make an honest try with them like I did, and if you have a specific situation or question ask in a forum. Your stated diagnosis is effectively five or more mental illnesses stacked on top of each other, so I feel you have to pick one or two to concentrate on or get a professional to clarify what’s going on. Good luck, and all the best.