My fiancé is institutionalized for the foreseeable future and has a great support system with his family. Sometimes when I talk to him on the phone he tries to engage me in inappropriate sexual conversations over the phone, while also referring to himself im the third person and also referring to himself as if he were someone else (but someone who exist, his best friend actually) he struggles sometimes with concern about whether he is gay or not but promises he only wants to be with me (I’m a female). This just can be incredibly confusing for me because I do desire to have those types of conversations with him. I miss our sex life. But I steer him widely clear of this inappropriate behavior as not to encourage inappropriate conversations in public. I almost even feel wrong or guilty, almost as if I am taking advantage if I were to indulge these conversations. Maybe just some advice on how to deal with our sexual desires that are still there? It’s all so complicated and confusing and I don’t know anyone in my circle who is even remotely helpful. All my information is second hand from his family and I’m just worried I’m not getting the entire story. Not necessarily out of malice from his family but to protect and respect his privacy as well as most likely sparing me the harder symptoms to experience. I’m
This is quite uncomfortable for you and inappropriate. It would be good if you can set healthy boundaries on this issue. Something like “I feel uncomfortable or distressed, etc when you talk about sexual things over the phone and I would like you to stop doing this or I won’t be able to talk with you on the phone.” It needs to be done in a kind and caring way and realize you aren’t responsible for his emotions or possible reactions to the situation.