Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Shizofrenic ex boyfriend not ready for baby’s arrival

So I was recently in a car accident and I am on bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy which could be any day now that I give birth . And my ex boyfriend is not showing any signs of getting better . He constantly smokes marijuana on top of taking his meds . I sat the alarm for him and even organize all his meds by day , and he still forgets to take it . My biggest fear is the marijuana , he gets so attached and dependent on it to the point where he will smoke 5 or 6 joints at a time . And will sleep for the next 3 or 4 days straight . He claims he is ready for our baby but my mom tells me it’s time to stop believing in him and let him go ! What should I do ?

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If he literally sleeps for 3 or 4 days straight while you’re pregnant and on bedrest I would say he may not be ready for the responsibilities of being a parent or a good partner (he should be taking care of you), so I’d kind of agree with your mother.

I agree with your mother. Move on. He’s either an ex or he’s not. He needs to earn involvement with your child. If he can’t take care of himself, he’s just going to bring you both down. Let go.

If he gets his act together, fine. He can see the kid if he’s on meds, off the pot and stable. Otherwise, no way. You have enough to worry about. This is coming from someone who has SZA, you both will be better off without him if he continues to use unprescribed drugs.

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Only reason I continued to help was for the sake of my child . He is an ex ! But this being his first child I was trying to prepare him and give him a chance to be a father . My mom was saying she dose not see change in him and sadly I’m starting to see the same as well

Definitely move on, you’re baby needs you, you’re baby will not get the best of you if your attention is split between caring for him and caring for your child and marijuana smoke is not good for an infant’s brain development. In his current condition, your boyfriend will not be able to help you or be trusted to be a reliable and responsible parent. Difficult though it may be, please move on.

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Thank you so much ! :heart:

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not possible with an SZ…

We all would like our loved ones with SMI to have a chance(s). But you are talking about a BABY (and YOU) and a huge responsibility. You are giving no indications that your ex is up to this in his current state. So what will change? If it is something he is able to do someday (get off drugs, take meds, take care of his own mental health and be on a path to recovery, such as be able to hold a job), he needs to prove it. I agree with everyone else here. It is your decision, but I suggest it would be best to seriously distance yourself from him or he may attempt to be involved in unhealthy ways. Hopefully his family can help him on a path to better health.