Yes, I kind of thought of it as transference. I think there is a part of him that is aware of his psychosis and hallucinations, but then pushes that out to me. He has said all of those things to me that your son has said to you. In fact is texting me right now…
My son tells me I’m psychotic too…
I wish my son would get over his anger phase. What makes it frustrating is that I can’t even figure out what he is angry with us about. Maybe one of these days (sigh).
well yesterday I asked him what meds was taking and he flew off… So now your a phyc doctor,i said no I have noticed your parotid was high not using the bathroom with the light off, he told me what he was taking and then said you have so much pull with the doctors and you think you know everything… that hurt…I told him that I was trying to help him its hard watching someone be scared all the time… all I get is a back lash…SMH
lovemyson I don’t think that even your son knows what he is angry about. Anger at a world that doesn’t understand him. Anger at a reality that doesn’t make sense. Overwhelming confusion and hurt that can safely be unleashed as anger. At least that is how I have come to look at it. My son may be physically an adult but if I look at the behavior on it’s own and compare it to what I felt like when I was a child then it makes a little bit more sense to me. As children we didn’t know how to cope with our feelings. Angry that our parents just didn’t understand us. Hurt that they didn’t understand us. Wanting to be grown up but not having the right tools to accomplish it. Wanting to be treated like adults yet still wanting to be treated like a child. Feelings that we didn’t understand yet felt anyways. So we had temper tantrums. We told our parents that we hated them. We rebelled, we raged, we cried… The kicker is that when you add psychosis on top of that then the world makes even less sense because you are being flooded with sensory information that no one else can see, hear or feel.
My son used to get really defensive when I asked him if he was taking his medications. Now I put them in a little dish and keep an eye on the dish. If they are gone I can only assume that he has taken them. He doesn’t want to be defined by schizophrenia. So we don’t generally discuss his medications in terms of schizophrenia anymore. If I do question him not taking them then it’s in terms of other symptoms that we both acknowledge are there. Asking in a monotone voice by referencing things like. I notice that you seem more anxious today. Have you taken your pills? He prefers the term pills over medications so now they are pills. As much as I want to I can’t force him to take them so I stopped trying to. It’s not an easy line to walk.
Yep, me too. I don’t respond either. Tried it a couple of times a couple of years ago and quickly found out that it does no good, just makes the situation worse. It sure is gut-wrenching and counter-intuitive though.
I guess what I’m having trouble understanding is that the first year or two after becoming ill, my son was still sweet. As time went on he started becoming more and more angry. And now hates us. I try to figure out if it is the disease, illicit drugs (mainly pot), his meds, or all of the above. It sure is hard to bend over backwards for him with the way he treats us, but we still do, idk.
It is hard. I try to look at things the way that I do so that I can cope with it easier and try to make sense of what doesn’t seem to make sense. I certainly don’t always succeed and have lost it on several occasions. I have called workers almost in tears, thinking the worse. Honestly I once questioned if what I was seeing was psychopathy. Thankfully my support worker helped me to calm down and put things into perspective.
I can only guess that as time goes by my son’s anger increases as, in lucid moments, he sees himself falling further and further out of the mainstream of life, and as he has more and more repeated failures. Yet he cannot be convinced to try things a different way that might lead to success.
Well said and that is probably what is going on with my son too.
Hate to do it, but it looks like my son is headed for a Level II secured facility. But maybe it will end well.
What is a Level II secured facility exactly? Do you have any idea how long he will be there?
In this state, a level II facility is a skilled nursing facility. So they are able to pass meds, rather than rely on individuals to come and get them, they have care plans and rehab programs, etc. Length of stay depends on the individual’s progress.
Saw this today on line - must try to remember:
An Optimist - Someone that figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, its more like a cha-cha.
lol…great analogy:)