I took my son to his psychiatrist today. While waiting in the waiting room, a young girl walked in (about my son’s age), and as she sat down, she smiled @ both of us. I pretended not to notice, but I saw out of the corner of my eye that he couldn’t help himself from staring at her. He would look away occasionally, but he would revert right back to her. I found it sad and funny @ the same time, if you all know what I mean.
It turned out that she was there for some sort of group activity. This office is amazing, they offer a variety of activities and options (group therapy, CBT, opportunities to go on day trips, activity gym filled with many things to do within a group setting).
I hope she peaked his interest alittle and is thinking about going to some of these sessions. What I wouldn’t do for him to have a friend or two (just to make a connection with and identify as someone he can relate to, just to even have lunch with or go to the mall). It just hurts so bad as a mother to see how much he isolates.
How old is your son. My stepson is 34 and did the same. He also was addicted to porn. He had a friend which was a female and something happened and now she is not a friend. If it works with your son great. We all need love and someone.
@stone, my son is 25. It just saddens me that he may never have a life partner or even a good close friend. No intimacy. He’s never “been” with anyone. Although I hear people saying I should count my blessings. More than likely the relationship will be riddled with problems, and may cause more stress and harm than good, and I don’t want him to slip backwards, he’s been doing well with small conversations, getting out of the apt alittle, looking for work, keeping his place fairly tidy, and just started doing his own laundry.
But I just wonder how he’d be with a girl, it’s a mom thing. I fantasize about him meeting a nice, caring young girl who “gets” him and accepts him, and cares for him.
@mbheart finding and navigating relationships seems tough for everyone, but it feels like you are playing with an extra special difficulty level when you have SZ. I became ill a little older than your son, and had no prior relationships at that point. I was too preoccupied with my prodrome and thought I was too messed up to inflict myself on others.
I’ve had some relationships since, some quite long term. A couple pitfalls are covered (although in some ways irresponsibly) in the movie, A Beautiful Mind. Sexual side effects can make you consider stopping medication which obviously is a bad idea. And there’s a tendency in movies to perpetuate the myth that love (or sexual experience) ‘cures’ mental illnesses, social anxieties, etc. Which may make you contemplate stopping medications as well.
There have been a number of movies about ‘neuro-atypical’ romances recently, but most gear toward the autistic spectrum. There’s some overlap, so they are worth seeing regardless. Benny and Joon is the main movie I think of covering this in the schizophrenia spectrum. It also touches on caregiving, so it might be worth seeking out if you haven’t seen it.
