It has been a while since I have been on this site. As some of you know my son attacked me in 2013. I had been doing really good with him. After only about 8 months I was finally able to be around him without anyone else present as I have PTSD myself from this episode. He appeared to be doing well and was in therapy and said he was taking his meds. In September of 2014 he had his second break while with me by ourselves. I was able to handle it well and we got through it. I made it very clear to him from the beginning of this that if he was not on meds he could not be around me without someone present. About 2 weeks ago he admitted to me out of the blue that he had NEVER taken any meds. I told him that this was not acceptable and that he could no longer come around me until he takes meds. I can still count on one hand how many times my son has lied to me in his 27 years. This really disturbed me and sent me into an anxiety attack. I chose to cut the internet off his phone which I pay for and to quit giving him money. I let him keep the phone for my peace of mind. He refuses to work and accept that he has a problem. He has now started to become very sensitive to smells and I also found out he has now started smoking pot and doing mushrooms. He has never done drugs until now. He is also becoming combative with me which he has never done. My question is am I doing the right thing cutting him off? I live by myself and don’t have much of a support system as most people do not understand this illness. I feel it is important for me to remain safe so I can try to help him. My other question is it common for people with this illness not want to work? I say it is the illness and my friends and family say he is lazy. Sorry for the rant but this is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life and I am dealing with it alone.
Work for me is nearly impossible… I have tried a few jobs in the last couple years and it turned out to be to much stress. I was a good worker before the illness.
Yeah no drugas… That’s not good. If he is comfortable in his mind enough to take drugs well that says something, I don’t know what but it says something.
Really I suggest you talk to him and figure out what is going on in his mind. Or get a therapist for him. Some schizos are on the level they just have symptoms. No delusions. Delusions are the scary part its when people actually start to believe in wild things that they become wild themselves.
Don’t give up on your son. I’m sorry that no one really understands this illness. I wouldn’t cut him off entirely but showing him that he should respect what you do for him and be nice and compliant.
Tough situation… He’s got to come to realize he has an illness. Sounds like things will have to get worse before they get better.
What is going on specifically when he has a psychotic break?
The first time he broke he attacked me with a knife after telling me he was afraid of what his brain would do. The second time he was talking is short sentences and could not follow directions. Short sentences such as “green, yeah green, green means go”. He told his therapist and I that during this break he watched a rain drop turn into a frog. That there are different realms of life and in the one he goes to rain drops can turn into frogs. I would never cut him off completely and we still talk on the phone. He just can not be around me on a one on one basis as long as he does not take his meds.
I can see where this is going and in my country it would be hospitalisation with forced medication sadly. That being said hospitals generally aren’t the nicest of places and still have a long way to go.
But I doubt using this as a scare tactic would work, maybe if he signed a information sharing agreement with his psychiatrist/psychologist you could share your concerns with them!
As for money does he get any benefits/ disability payments? Do you have to fund him?
Drugs are one of these life traps that you can fall into, gladly I never did, I guess you could ask for a drugs screening if he is admitted?
No benefits. He does get food stamps. He will work a temporary job for a week and get money then not work again until he is broke. He was borrowing from me until he got more work but I have now cut that off.
He is the one that told me he was doing drugs so no screening is necessary at this point.
My boyfriend also has sz and does not work and hasn’t for nearly 3 years. Is well educated and very smart. He will be the first to tell you he’s lazy. He lives off money he inherited from his mom but its running out. And he is an alcoholic. And as a result of all his problems his sister is taking him to court to get conservatorship over him and he goes to trial on march 6th to fight it if he hasn’t fled the state. I think he may have fled already his phone has been off for 3 days and no e-mail responses. So I understand your fear.
Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between the illness, and the drugs. But the drugs are bad news-they elevate any symptoms.
I cant remember if you said he was living in his own place?I would cut the relationship back if he is doing drugs. I dont think there is a whole lot you can do at this point. Its good that he can keep his phone-that is his lifeline. My son has been off meds for 6 months. Not sure if he is doing anything except Benadryl. My sister and I are continuing to supplement his SSI, but pushing away a little because he is getting a little erratic. My son hit me a few years ago, and I didnt talk to him for a year. He was forced to go through mental health court. The minute he graduated, he stopped his meds.
My son has not worked in years, I dont think he can at this point. As long as your son is off meds and on drugs, I dont think there is much you can tell him right now. This has been, and continues to be my experience.
I think you are doing the right thing–stay strong**
Personally I don’t think you are in the wrong to limit financial support or insist that he be med-compliant to be around you.