It has taken a lot for me to realize the reality of his condition. I really thought the medication was causing the problem but now I see I am wrong. All his symptoms are exactly as you all have described. He is quiet and keeps to himself. I try so hard to get him to speak up and enjoy life. He is trying to work and make good choices but things he did in his past are coming back to hurt us. He made so many bad choices last year that will cost money and emotional grief. I try to stress that we will take care of all of this together and start fresh. I appreciate all of you sharing your experiences. I am like all of you, we want our child to return to us the way they were before Sz.
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Iām sad for my son too. Iāve been so terribly sad for him for seven years. He deserves a better life. I think we all worry, too, what will happen when we are gone.
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My brother is 20, sometimes I hope if he wasnāt that ambitious my brother struggles to live, he tries to study very hard but couldnāt make it last year. Since childhood he always wanted to be number one, unfortunately the illness holds him back. Sometimes I hope if he was careless. In my opinion I think itās not the meds nor his condition, itās a normal feeling after what he went through, donāt try to change just give him love and acceptance I know itās very hard, but be patient. Your son is lucky the meds work with him and I think he will get better gradually. My uncle just as old as your son taking Risperidone he was sedated in the begging but 5 years later he began to be himself again.
Do you get counseling for yourself? I do and I have for several years. It really helps me so much with developing a new alternate perspective and separating what my son sees as his own reality from how I see my sonās reality from my own point of view. If he insists that he is happy or content, (and he always does) Then for me to continue to mourn for whatever āsocietal milestonesā he hasnāt achieved or even wanted- would be the real sadness. Just my thoughts.
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Thank you. I donāt get counseling because I donāt have insurance. My son insists heās happy. I donāt know if happy is really what he is. I think maybe content. Itās really more my own perspective like you say, he maybe doesnāt feel unhappy, even though so often he looks unhappy. He has never had an intimate relationship, which is more often the case for someone with schizophrenia. Itās hard for me, yes, maybe not him, but itās hard to say. Heās just so alone and I canāt imagine being so alone and isolated as he is. I just wish for my son what we all want for our children. You know what I mean.
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Yes I do know exactly what you mean. I am sorry you donāt have insurance. I donāt know what state you are in but here in Ohio they have many counseling services that are on a sliding fee scale which means you could potentially pay zero for the services. They also have community funds like AdamH which cover underinsured and uninsured at least in part. It is worth the investigation. I wish you and your son the very best.
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Dear @three,
My impression of the post that you are referring to is that you were direct but not unkind. I have never seen you post in an unkind or an unsupportive way, and I am sure I am not alone in saying that I always value your perspectives.
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Thanks for your kind words
I worry about getting it wrong
What you said is good to hear
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I love this book. Iām in it reading all the time. It helps to have something easy to understand. Even though itās not that easyā¦
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Art therapy, meditating, mindfulness, yoga, crossword puzzles. Whatever they can handle.
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@three I too would like you to know I thought your words were direct and honest. Iām glad you pointed out the importance of staying on AP meds and being blunt is best here because the fact is that AP medication is the only treatment.
@vvicin01 I tend to be blunt myself, maybe too blunt. I hoped at one time that my son might not need meds forever. I also thought his lack of motivation, his apathy and withdrawal, all of those negative symptoms, I thought it was the medication, so when I started researching, it dawned on me ā¦ this is where I suddenly realized that this was it. He wasnāt being lazy and this wasnāt the medication. I became so very sad. But now, after seven years, maybe he doesnāt have the most exciting life, but heās not homeless or incarcerated. There can be side effects from the medication or at least used to be pretty bad. But if you go back and research, youāll come to understand that these negative symptoms have always been a core feature of the illness, long before the first antipsychotic medication came along. Xo
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I wish there were more group homes in Delaware. We have NAMI housing, but long lists, but he is on it. But when it comes time they have to interview him. He refuses medications, so they might not even take him. But that would be ideal. He recently was hospitalized for 2 weeks, he was so good at discharge. The day he came home " Iām not taking these meds". So back to square 1. We are trying to get guardianship , but even with that, how do you MAKE him take meds? He refuses the injections. My husband and I are fed up with the way he lives, which is our house.
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I have listened to this audio book over and over again and always gain great knowledge from it .
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I know been there my son. The isolation at home .the the lack of motivation. Have a look at the chime model.frame work online ā¦ taurine for gut looking at gut brain link. I do hope the medication is working I do believe it starts with thisā¦less side affects physical health on this oneā¦ find one thing hdime art .photography then just simple discussions build on his strengths his recovery ā¦ change your focus. ā¦is there any art therapy groups. Counselling .we have waiting list uk and so bad with offering therapies. The care left yo parents relativesā¦I always find focus on the things that are in your control .
My son is 29. He has been schizophrenic since he was 17. He started by taking respirdol but has been on Haldol for last six years. He has never worked. He does not talk unless spoken to and then doesnāt always answer. Laughs to himself sometimes. He smokes 2 packs a day and walks up and down the block or in circles in the house. Even after 13 years of his illness I have trouble accepting that this is how he will always act. He has no interest in anything or drive to do anything other than walk and smoke. When I get frustrated I stop and I am thankful he is with me. He was institutionalized for 7 months when his illness first started. I donāt know if itās his illness or the medication or both that cause him to act this way. But after 13 years I know I must live with it no matter how hard it is. I do remember the first years were the hardest. I am so glad the voices and the suicide are not major problems anymore. You and your son will be in my prayers.
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You have just summarised my sons life . I was hoping that my 25 y old would get motivated and get back to normal but after 8 years, I am wondering. Sometimes there is a glimmer of hope but I spend nights crying and despairing about his future. He used to be so fit , energetic and now medication causes obesity and lethargy . He is rarely awake during the day .
Sorry , rambling but thank you for postingā¦ xxx
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I feel as though you just wrote my story, my son was also diagnosed in 2018 and it has been a long road. Ebbs and flows, his is medication compliant , seeing a psychoeducation therapist every 3 weeks now. Taking 1 online college class, seems fairly well adjusted, likes to keep his day simple. Luke exercises daily and enjoys being outside. He is happy to be around my husband and I and his little brother. Our family is large and very supportive, we did the NAMI courses and I am hoping I can take Luke to the peer to peer ones. We love to travel and all I can say to others, give the grace of time, patience and reach for those small goals. At the end of the day I am just happy knowing that he laughs now , sleeps well and genuinely has the energy to live fully to his expectations, not mine. -Rupy Mantini
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I hope you find courage and strength, like you I cried every night after the diagnosis. Because it was like a death of the person you know before the illness hijacked him. Time can heal the sadness and setting small goals can bring hope. Keep encouraging keep cheerleading for his health I hope you know you are not alone facing these hard times. -Rupy Mantini
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He is lucky to have you, most leave never to return home or become homeless. My son is 21 and medication compliant and I take him to therapy so that he can better understand his illness. Luke was also on respiridone and it quickly worked on the voices and thoughts of suicide, however it doesnāt help with the negative symptoms. Some are good weeks and others are low, the lack of ambition or interest in hobbies or active interest in a job have ceased. He also goes on long walks and enjoys the outdoors, but like you we are thankful he is home and safe. I will be thinking of you and hope that know there are so many of us in the same situation struggling but finding comfort through our shared experiences.
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It is so encouraging to hear your son enjoys being with you and your family! Michael does not want to be around anyone. I still cry at night too. It really is like the son I had before this is not here anymore. I know that when we all die and go to heaven he will not be schizophrenic anymore. He will be the happy, funny young man that I remember. This is such a terrible disease. I hate it!!
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