Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Sorry I just have too many words

I’m ranting but I think I need to say also that while I am new to this specific illness I do know mental illness and it SO CRITICAL to realize that your loved one will very likely never be who they were before. Never. It’s hard but you have to accept them at the capacity they are capable of after illness because it can cause serious debilitating habits and symptoms for sufferers. Permanent damage is not uncommon with mental illness. YOU CANNOT BE SELFISH WHEN TRYING TO HELP YOUR MENTALLY ILL LOVED ONES. You can separate, and be healthy apart, but you cannot be upset with them for literally being incapable of reaching your expectations out of whatever relationship you may have with them. It just kind of really makes me sad and upset for some of the loved ones when I see their loved ones speak so selfishly about them and their expectations. They can’t do this or that for me. ITS UNREALISTIC AND CRUEL to expect them to be able to give you what you need in certain aspects. If you can’t accept that and be ok with the level of support your loved one will allow HEALTHILY you have no business being anywhere near them. I’m sorry if that comes across rude but lord please for one second take a different perspective it is not that hard.

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I have so much passion and this is so raw for me right now that I’m so unorganized in my thoughts and statements. Sorry for that! Forcing myself to take my own mental health day to stop obsessing over my loved ones illness. And not talking about it reading about it or thinking about it!

I am sorry that no one saw your post and responded. I know what you are talking about, it took me quite a while to stop being mad over the lack of… well… just the lack in general of what used to be normal… when my daughter first got ill. At times I just couldn’t be nice or compassionate to her. I regretted those times, usually almost immediately, but they happened.

Taking my own time off was key to calming myself down. I learned that “me” time just had to occur, so I could continue caring for her with less upset in my voice.

I hope you are doing well.