I’ll take any advice or thoughts. We are just at the beginning of this journey, although we’ve battled various aspects of our child’s illness for over a year. However, the psychosis has now reached a point of being dangerous and our adult child is unreachable, in denial, combative, etc.
All I can think is how did we get here?
A parent never expects to be in this position, especially when the young child was so-called ‘normal’.
I don’t know the process to getting guardianship. Sorry that you are having to do this it’s so difficult to get them to do anything when they won’t discuss things with us. It’s so frustrating. Does your son live with you?
Amen to that. So many awesome memories, which makes the current nightmare that much worse.
Yes, my child lives with us. We see a lawyer this week, just looking for some perspective on what we can expect from the process.
I went through Guardianship and I will tell you my story later this evening.
I have commented in other threads about the process of getting guardianship. For me, I just made sure to fill out the forms, and collect the letters, and show up at court. My son was so sick at the time, even tho he was assigned a lawyer, he never met with him or came to court, which made the process easier.
How long did it take, from filing the papers until you were approved?
I don’t remember that. A few months I think. I got temporary guardianship for 6 months and then was given full guardianship.
Due to our son’s increasing delusions with his father and several events that had him acting aggressively toward us, we recently had to give our son an ultimatum of having to take meds if he wanted to continue to live in the garage apartment on our property. He opted “out” and moved away.
A court date was set and it only took thirty days. My son had deteriorated because he didn’t want to take medication. It was much easier than I could have ever imagined compared to the worry and what ifs.
It isn’t fun to be guardian for your adult child and the goal should always helping them become independent because one day we won’t here. Good luck and keep us posted.
Look into conservatorships and guardianships - I’m not sure of the difference: Some resources:
http://www.sfsuperiorcourt.org/divisions/probate/mental-health-conservatorship
http://www.scscourt.org/self_help/probate/conservatorship/conservatorship_lps.shtml
http://www.namioc.org/emergencies/information/102-conservatorship
Be straightforward with your son. He is still himself. If he becomes combative, I don’t know whether the rest of what I write would be relevant to your family.
If your son explicitly does not want you to do it, don’t. If he is at all able to care for himself and speak for himself in court, your relationship is more important than the limited power a guardianship offers (at least where we live). Suggest the compromise of a medical power of attorney drawn up by a lawyer. This would allow you to talk with all his doctors to understand the logistics of his treatment, allow you to set up appointments, and pick up prescriptions. He can exclude things like “notes” and other personal information he doesn’t want you to know.
If he becomes very, very ill and is involuntarily hospitalized, a temporary, emergency guardianship can be obtained relatively easily and then the rest of it within six months or so.
Gather medical records and see whether any of the providers will write a letter supporting your goal of guardianship.
Is your home set up in a way you can keep yourself safe?
Our ultimate goal is for our child to become stable and resume as much independent living as possible. Unfortunately, I doubt they would willingly allow us to be medical power of attorney right now because of their current delusional state. This only leaves the option of temporary guardianship, if I’m understanding things correctly. I know that with proper treatment my child can improve, but without it things will only get worse.
These are excellent resources. Thank you. What helped me also is searching for the guardianship in my state. I had this printed out and read it over for about for or five months. It is a big decision
Mom4Ever,
Sorry about the latest reply. working 2 jobs and trying to stay above water.
The guardianship process with me was like death. but I am glad I have it now.
Started the petition with my lawyer back in May /2016. Paid my lawyer about $2200 to get an emergency Guardianship. My son stopped taking meds and would not agree to injection and wanted to avoid him getting sick again. It was very stressful when the person from Court served him the paper at my home and he was reading the court document with a claim of him being incapacitated.
I felt that I am stepping on him with my feet and felt so guilty. he cried a lot like a baby and I prayed so hard and ask my Lord: why did I get to this point !!
I love my son and I am very proud of him and he was doing above average while he was in College and working and had friends. it was 3 years ago and now, I have to smash him under my feet.
I almost cancelled the Guardianship but I told myself, He is so sick and he needs help and if I cancel the guardianship, how will I help him. this will give me some rights!
When I present the Guardianship document in ER couple times when My son was with me in May and he was symptomatic ER Doctor said that as long as he is taking his meds, they will not keep him in Hospital and locked him against his will and also, he would act very nice with hospital doctor and they get convinced that he is not symptomatic…
My son left to California for a court hearing last June and he was very hard serving him over there in California for the final guardianship order.
He become homeless in July and in and out of different hospitals and jail until December 19/2017 where is currently Hospitalized.
I kept contacting various people in Santa Clara court system and public defender office and DA office and Politician and asking help to conserve my Son.
The guardianship helped me in dealing with the hospital staff where he is currently at now. He is still very sick when I speak to him. he took monthly injection of ABILIFY twice but he would not take oral pills and they are not able to force him to take oral pills on daily basis.
The locked facility where he will be taking to requires that he takes on oral meds because they are short staffed and they do not have enough resources to deal with daily injections…
His social worker said that he may need a higher level of care where he will be forced to take oral pills. He mention California State hospital. I am worried about him going to State Hospital and him being overdose!
Taking one day at a time and keep praying for him to accept oral meds where he is now…
Overall the Guardianship will hlep. it also helped me to get him the Social security benefits and student loans forgiveness and other financial matters…
Praying for you Mom4Ever to make the right decision for your son.
you can go from Temporary Guardianship to permanent guardianship if needed…
It’s very hard to get conservatorship at least here in CA. For my own goid I just kept reading and introducing him to other ideas. He and his mother fought anything I thought might be worth a try. Finally he tried Clozapine and within a week a majority of the voices were gone. Of course they did it in the hospital where they can bring the dose up quicker. It’s been a lifesaver here. He is back to work and meeting friends
Lindag,
this is good but I thought Clozapine is the last resort to be used if everything else fails.
my son is in Hospital and they are able to force him on oral meds. He took his 2nd lasting monthly Shot of Ability but he is not getting better.
he would not take any oral meds. they just started him on Zyprexa 10mg daily. if he does not take the oral pill, he will be given injection…
he has disorganized speech and talking to himself and cursing me a lot. but he is nice to a Family friend whenever he visits with him…
Keep hoping for a change…